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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to say no one told me how bad hot flashes/night sweats are?

75 replies

FeatheredHope · 21/06/2021 15:48

Apologies for using AIBU but I honestly wasn’t quite sure where to post this.
So I have suspected for a while now that I am in perimenopause and then last night I had a hot flash/night sweat which is my last symptom ticked.

The reason for posting is that I was completely shocked by how awful it was. It’s taken me until the morning to realise what it was because at the time, in the middle of the night, I thought something horrific was happening to me. I feel so stupid for not realising how this must really impact people’s lives.

OP posts:
Mintjulia · 21/06/2021 16:08

It's a new experience for you. Hot flushes vary and can be made more or less severe by other factors.

Normally I get such mild flushes that I can ignore them, and they last 2-3 minutes. If I stay below 10 stone, they stop completely

But if I've had a glass or two of wine or eaten white pasta, I can be soaked in sweat for an hour. Pounding headache, heart palpitations, the works.
Hopefully You'll learn how to minimise them as you go along.

user1471538283 · 21/06/2021 16:12

I never had hot flashes and aside from feeling a bit down and being less patient I thought I had got away with a fairly gentle menopause. Oh no, no I did not. I had the night sweats so bad that I and the bed linen was absolutely soaked up to three times a night and I was so miserable.

HRT changed my life. You dont have to suffer through this.

Lipz · 21/06/2021 16:16

How awful was your hot flush? I'm wondering if it's similar to what I'm having. Anytime I ask anyone about hot flushes and symptoms they just say, oh you'll know and Google is rubbish it just lists things that even men get.

MorriseysGladioli · 21/06/2021 16:16

My hot sweats were quite debilitating when there was around 10 a day (and night!)
It's impossible to try and relax through them.

DulseSeaweed · 21/06/2021 16:17

I know this is missing the point spectacularly but can someone clear up if it's flush or flash please as I've seen both?

My neighbour can't sleep for them, sounds terrible, but you're right I think menopause just generally isn't talked about enough.

Hax · 21/06/2021 16:18

They can be truly horrible and I'm not surprised you didn't know what they were like. Nothing at all like feeling a bit hot.
I had them 24/7 for about two years from age 52.
All kinds of things would trigger them, a hot drink, a cold drink, walking from one room to another.
A wave of intense heat from head to toe.
Working in an office was a nightmare, even other women were not understanding, especially younger ones who thought it was amusing.

I had zero other menopause symptoms and the flushes eventually just happened at night. My thermostat has never been quite the same since.
Why didn't I get HRT? In a word breast cancer risk.
As it happens I got BC anyway so maybe I was wrong.

OldTinHat · 21/06/2021 16:20

I've always thought they were flushes? I had one a few weeks back. Woke in the night with everything soaked - the sheets, pillows, my hair, everything. 3am saw me changing the bed and having a shower.

Hax · 21/06/2021 16:22

@Lipz

How awful was your hot flush? I'm wondering if it's similar to what I'm having. Anytime I ask anyone about hot flushes and symptoms they just say, oh you'll know and Google is rubbish it just lists things that even men get.
A feeling of intense heat radiating from head to toe. So hot that you would happily roll naked in the snow. Then 5 minutes later you are cold.

This makes it difficult at night because you snuggle up warm, have a hot flush /flash, throw off all covers and fall asleep again. Only to wake up soon after freezing.
My top tips
Wear a thin nightie to soak up sweat.
get rid of the double duvet and buy his and hers singles. To this day I have a 3 tog all year round while DH is buried under his 15 tog.
Put a cotton sheet between you and the duvet. Like layering clothes.

Jocasta2018 · 21/06/2021 16:26

I once walked down Marylebone High Street on a freezing & snowy winter's afternoon in a T-shirt, carrying my coat, hat, scarf, jumper, etc...
I got some right funny looks but once a hot flush took hold, that was it!

And I also used two mattress protectors together for the night sweats - it was disgusting. I slept next to an open window all year round.

oneglassandpuzzled · 21/06/2021 16:30

I wasn't going to put up with the flushes (UK version) or night sweats, though I rarely got the former. Waking up when I'd just got off to sleep because either I was boiling or freezing because I had soaked through everything? No. It made work impossible and I just felt really below par.

HRT sorted me out. The newer forms are very low risk.

Fuckingcrustybread · 21/06/2021 16:31

@DulseSeaweed

I know this is missing the point spectacularly but can someone clear up if it's flush or flash please as I've seen both?

My neighbour can't sleep for them, sounds terrible, but you're right I think menopause just generally isn't talked about enough.

I've always said Hot Flush and I think that Hot Flash is a term from the USA, could be completely wrong though.
Aquamarine1029 · 21/06/2021 16:33

HRT is a lifesaver. There is no need to suffer like this.

chesterelly · 21/06/2021 16:36

Mine disappeared within a week of starting HRT. Now I only get one (or maybe two) during the night if I've had 2 or 3 glasses of wine. 1 glass is fine, 3 or 4 or 5 gins is ok.

Original poster
FeatheredHope · 21/06/2021 16:37

How awful was your hot flush? I'm wondering if it's similar to what I'm having. Anytime I ask anyone about hot flushes and symptoms they just say, oh you'll know and Google is rubbish it just lists things that even men get.

Naively from the descriptions id read online, I just thought I’d feel hot and sweaty (stupid I know). But it woke me in the middle of the night feeling like I was burning up, like an insane fever. I felt sort of wobbly and nauseous with it, heart going like the clappers. Totally panicked and terrified and thought I was going to have to wake my husband and warn him something was really wrong with me.
I got up and even took my temperature as I thought I was ill!!
I feel so stupid and shaken that I’m actually quite tearful writing this. So pathetic.

OP posts:
Original poster
FeatheredHope · 21/06/2021 16:38

Oh and then covered in cold sweat that left me all shakey and got chilled when I put the fan on!!

OP posts:
SwimBaby · 21/06/2021 16:40

My night sweats were terrible, I wish I’d started using Oestrogel sooner.

RoyalMush · 21/06/2021 16:44

Hugs. It is grim. I agree about alcohol making it worse and also stress and tiredness. It feels very unfair!

Tiramiwho · 21/06/2021 16:44

@OldTinHat

I've always thought they were flushes? I had one a few weeks back. Woke in the night with everything soaked - the sheets, pillows, my hair, everything. 3am saw me changing the bed and having a shower.

Yes, the correct terminology is Flushes. The American's call them Flashes.

Tiramiwho · 21/06/2021 16:47

Apologies for the misplaced apostrophe during my correct English Grammar rant Blush

gingernut44 · 21/06/2021 16:55

They are awful op. I thought i was getting through it ok, but after a year and half of disturbed sleep, a constant cycle of too hot and freezing, turning the pillow, dangling feet out, turning fan on, i feel like I've aged 20 years. Hugs

Lipz · 21/06/2021 16:57

I can't quote, thanks for explaining it @Hax @FeatheredHope

I dont have it during the day, however at night, I wake with a soaking wet chest, under boobs, hair line at back of neck. I have always been warm in bed but when I'd throw off the covers I'd cool enough to fall back asleep but even with a very cold room I'm still roasting. Do you think this is the start for me? I'm late 40s

FleetwoodRaincoat · 21/06/2021 16:57

Interestingly I've been having really bad hot flushes and night sweats on and off for the past couple of years. As I'm still having periods occasionally, what I find is the sweats seem to die off ... and then I have my period. Then after a few days they start up again, until the next period (can be 2 or 3 months).

I've been having really bad ones now since March and it was really getting me down. However, DH has gone away for a few weeks for work, so thought I'd try to lose a bit of weight by eating healthily - no sugar, no alcohol. And the flushes/sweats are probably about 10% of what they were. Now, this could mean that I'm due a period soon, but my guess is that mine are made worse by crap food and alcohol.

I'll keep you posted, but it might be worth trying to cut these things out and see if it helps at all.

And yes, they are bloody awful Angry

Hax · 21/06/2021 17:11

Did anyone else have this post partum?
After DC2 was born I had night sweats for about 6 months. Thses are obviosly hormone driven but were not the same as menopausal hot flushes.

I do regret not getting HRT. At the time I was all "this is normal, I'm not taking a drug with a risk of side effects for something that will go away eventually"
Yet now in my 60s I have RA and have had cancer so am no stranger to taking powerful drugs.

OhGiveUp · 21/06/2021 17:16

I know this sounds really strange, but I got a large dog cooling mat and placed it under my bottom sheet to help keep me cool when in bed and having hot flushes.
I actually bought it for my dog, who refused to even look at it, that's where my idea came from of using it for myself.
Best £10 I've ever spent.
You could try that?

cocoloco987 · 21/06/2021 17:21

Did anyone else have this post partum?
After DC2 was born I had night sweats for about 6 months. Thses are obviosly hormone driven but were not the same as menopausal hot flushes.

Yes, during breastfeeding and also for the first couple of months after starting the contraceptive pill. Would wake up utterly drenched.