AIBU to say no one told me how bad hot flashes/night sweats are?

[FeatheredHope]

Apologies for using AIBU but I honestly wasn’t quite sure where to post this.
So I have suspected for a while now that I am in perimenopause and then last night I had a hot flash/night sweat which is my last symptom ticked.

The reason for posting is that I was completely shocked by how awful it was. It’s taken me until the morning to realise what it was because at the time, in the middle of the night, I thought something horrific was happening to me. I feel so stupid for not realising how this must really impact people’s lives.

Can I add to all the great tips - wool bedding. Much better at regulating your temperature than other fibres.

I tried to get HRT and was refused. The doc offered me anti depressants instead, which I declined.

I roll the bottom edge of the duvet back so that my feet stick out and stay cool. Works a treat, and if I can't get to sleep with my feet uncovered, I just curl up so that they're in the duvet for that part of the night.

If I don't do this, I regularly wake up dripping and with the sheets wet through.

My night sweats used to come hourly. I'd wake feeling like I was on fire at 15 minutes past the hour, eventually cool down enough to go back to sleep, only to wake up again about 20 minutes later boiling hot again.

The hot flushes during the day were nowhere near as bad and were over much more quickly.

I found Menopace (sold in supremarkets) tremendously helpful.

I got a 4.5 tog duvet and wear a lot less to bed
Get a good fan

A PP mentioned a dog cooling mat. I have one specifically for humans!! Exactly the same and a life saver. I leave on the floor and reach out to grab it when a night sweat starts. I would absolutely recommend it.
As for BU, no you are not! I knew about hot flushes and night sweats but never imagined they would be as bad as they are! I went from someone who was always cold, wrapped up in big fleecy pyjamas every night to sleeping starkers. I live in hope that I might get a full night's sleep again one day!!!

I am almost 44 and wake most nights sweating, also during the day now at work. My team leader asked me the other day if I was OK as I was sweating. 🙄

I don’t think I’m getting hot flushes yet. I sometimes feel hot and sweaty when I’m doing something like cleaning or dashing to work, but I don’t get hot for no reason yet.
But I have noticed that when I get hot my scalp sweats, not nice.

@emptyempire ooh that's very useful to know, thank you!

Why isn’t there cooling mattress pads like electric warming blankets plug in and cool down!!

@WelshRach33

Why isn’t there cooling mattress pads like electric warming blankets plug in and cool down!!

Some people use the cool mats designed for dogs.

@cocoloco987
Yes I had this with all 3 of mine. It only lasted a couple of months. Haywire hormones.

I'm only in my 20s but what does it feel like? does it feel like a fever when you have the flu?

Ps I am so grateful that you're all sharing your experiences. My nan said she used to cut all of the tags from all of her clothes because she got so itchy. She recently passed away and I noticed the tags were infact gone from most of her clothes.

Have you had Feet On Fire yet? Gods it's awful. I'm renowned for always having cold feet, now they get unbearably hot and I'm forever pulling my socks off, putting my feet outside the covers at night etc.

@iklboo

I roll the foot end of the duvet up so that my feet are never covered. They are never be-socked in bed either. I've not had any nightsweats since I started doing this, it's like a miracle cure. It goes against my lifelong habit of 'having freezing feet and not being able to sleep until they were warm', too.

I'm 61 and don't appear to be having any problems now, although I know that other ladies can have problems for years on end. Other than memory fog, which I didn't even realise was a part of menopause, my only symptoms were hot flushes of my head only! I didn't even go red as one of my colleagues used to, but sometimes my head would get so hot that it gave me a dreadful headache. I then discovered one night that putting my head under a cold shower, solved that particular problem. However the head sweats were really embarrassing as my hair would literally drip! My grandkids all used to laugh at me, and say Nana's having one of her 'moments', lol. Because it was relatively mild, I didn't bother with HRT, but my sister was absolutely suicidal with hers, so again, just goes to show that each one of us experiences it differently.

Isn't it the same with all women's health issues? They are minimised/ not talked about enough and women are just expected to put up with them.

I could not believe how bad pregnancy could be until I went through some complications. Then there were the post partum complications.

@househousehousefox

I'm only in my 20s but what does it feel like? does it feel like a fever when you have the flu?

No. You don't feel ill or ache like infection. It feels like the hottest furnace you can imagine. If it was snowing you would happily roll naked in the snow. Then 2 minutes later you are cold.

@aquashiv the breast cancer link is not "debunked " there is a link.
However it's like all risks there is a balance. I chose not to have HRT and got breast cancer anyway. I now have osteoporosis which was predictable given my family history and HRT might have prevented it.

@TheFoundations - I don't wear socks in bed, but just around the house can annoy me to an extent I rip them off sweating. Good thing I work from home.

Agree hot flushes / sweats aren't like flu or a fever. It's sort of like being immersed in very hot water or having poured over you so it starts in one place and moves in a wave to another. For me, it's the waist up. Then yes, suddenly cold again. I wake up drenched in the night like I've had a shower in bed. The sheets are soaked. I have to put a towel down until the morning until we get up and I can strip the bed.

@Hax

Did anyone else have this post partum? After DC2 was born I had night sweats for about 6 months. Thses are obviosly hormone driven but were not the same as menopausal hot flushes.

I do regret not getting HRT. At the time I was all "this is normal, I'm not taking a drug with a risk of side effects for something that will go away eventually"
Yet now in my 60s I have RA and have had cancer so am no stranger to taking powerful drugs.

Yes, I did! It made the night feeds and recovering from a CS even more fun

Quite a lot of us have been writing a lot on Social Media about this kind of thing. Funnily enough, like so many things, nobody cares until it affects them.

Sorry it's awful OP - it's like the early tiny baby months, but for a few years, where you never get enough sleep and nobody gives a flying fuck because it's not them.

I found open windows/doors (to make a draft) helped. And a fan in summer. Also only using a duvet cover but no duvet, with a handy blanket for when I inevitably woke up cold. Also putting a plastic water bottle (tightly sealed and in a plastic bag) in the freezer until it was solid, wrapping it in a thin towel and taking that to bed helped a lot. Also cooling pillows are supposed to be good (IKEA do reasonably priced ones)

Worse than anything was what I called a feeling of impending doom.

Tbh this is the worst thing. I get it before every hot flush - day or night

Hot flushes started in 1999. Night time ones still going strong. Luckily I don't actually sweat, just feel like I'm next to furnace and the feeling of absolute dread before each one. Always just as I'm dropping off to sleep. Various doctors have said no to HRT because of medical history. I have tried every alternative remedy known to woman. I did actually find a very low dose of anti depressant worked very well despite my reservations, but I was willing to give anything a go by that stage. 1 x 2mg tablet taken every three days. Was taken off it though because apparently I was becoming addicted. It's rubbish.

I'm44 & was having hot flushes. Nothing like having the flu. I used to be a freezer, cold hands and feet. The turning point was last December hanging washing out hoping it would snow.

HRT and there are benefits from it. No volcano heating, brain switched back on. I also seem to have enhance sense of smell, a bit like when you are pregnant and can smell everything.
GP was great, I could tell her why I needed it and she backed it up with my blood results.
My DM, then tells me, "oh, your Auntie had the menopause at 35". I mean, it could have come up sooner