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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking the whole family everywhere

60 replies

Ilikegreenshoes · 19/06/2021 03:54

I bring my middle child to karate every Saturday morning. It's a fairly full class with limited seating for anyone watching.

AIBU to find it extremely annoying when some families turn up all together every week (mum, dad and a child or two) taking up heaps of space?

I just don't get the appeal. The other kids are bored and distracting, parents are up and down, in and out and there are adults sitting on the floor while children take up the seats.

I understand everyone coming down for the first lesson to watch or whatever, but this is every single week!

Just having a moan really, it's given me the hump this morning (I'm one of the ones on the floor today!)

OP posts:
fourminutestosavetheworld · 19/06/2021 06:15

I'd think it was fairly odd tbh unless something special was happening - first lesson, award or achievement etc

Why have the whole family tediously waiting for a lesson to finish?

Do you think they have come straight from something else beforehand and didn't have time to go home, or have to go directly to something else afterwards without having time to go home?

There'll be a good reason, even if it's not immediately obvious to you.

DinosaurDiana · 19/06/2021 06:16

I would never let my kids sit on a seat while an adult sits on the floor, that’s teaching your kids bad manners.

Longdistance · 19/06/2021 06:26

That is so annoying. It puts me off staying to watch my dds when a family rabble is there. Making loads of noise and eating, making phone calls, taking up space.
I go to the supermarket on my own. I can’t be doing with all of us huddled around a trolley and taking up the aisle.

burritofan · 19/06/2021 06:28

There'll be a good reason, even if it's not immediately obvious to you.
Nah, it’ll be: “I do the food shop after and only DH drives so he drives me; I do the actual food shop. I won’t learn to drive because spurious reason and DH can’t do the food shop alone because spurious reason, so we travel as a giant pack”. Comes up repeatedly in these threads.

Original poster
Ilikegreenshoes · 19/06/2021 07:10

Yeah, I did think about the "on the way to or from somewhere" thing, which makes sense, but personally, if that was the case and I could see how crowded the room was I'd probably take the other kids out for a little walk in the sunshine or something.

I know it's not a major issue, I mean, whatever, but it was just annoying this morning. Feel better for getting it off my chest though! Thanks MN for being my free therapy! Grin

OP posts:
Sirzy · 19/06/2021 07:13

I’m amazed the venue allow it at the moment anyway. But either way I don’t get the appeal, one parent could take the others to a park or something while waiting

mathanxiety · 19/06/2021 07:19

There are often reasons women can't drive that have nothing to do with their own choice. Frequently, they don't drive because they are stuck with a controlling partner. Quite often, their partner doesn't let them out alone and they end up going everywhere en famille.

They go supermarket shopping together so that he can control what she spends money on. He won't lower himself to bring a child to an activity. That would look too much like mutual respect (which equals being henpecked).

They all go together so that the woman isn't left at home to shag the milkman and so that she isn't out shagging the coach or someone else's partner at the child's activity.

Taking the other kids out for a walk isn't on because it's beneath the man's dignity, and if the woman does it, then she might be shagging other men, or other men might be looking at her.

I have come across quite a few very unhappy situations like this.

dancinfeet · 19/06/2021 07:19

We always used to have this at our dance school with the younger classes, entire family turns up and crowds into our our reception to accompany one small child for a 45 min class. Bored siblings then running about, climbing on furniture, messing about in the toilets, and coming to the studio door to distract their sibling. Or the ones who let their toddler wander into a class of galloping 3 year olds then complain when the child is knocked over! Since covid, they drop ar the door and wait in the car. Best decision we ever made, we might just keep it that way, and just have parents in for watching week!

Strawberriesandcream21 · 19/06/2021 07:21

Yanbu. People will come up with loads of excuses but 90%are rubbish.

AuntyFungal · 19/06/2021 07:26

Take a folding garden chair with you.

Mumdiva99 · 19/06/2021 07:31

I agree. When my kids started Saturday music you were allowed to stay in if you wanted. I did a couple of times - but some parents stated with disruptive toddlers. It annoyed me and I wasn't playing. Just wait elsewhere with the younger kids. Go outside and let them run around.

HarrisMcCoo · 19/06/2021 07:36

How annoying. Only one of us takes DC to an activity. Taking all four DC would be my idea of hell 🤣

prettyvisitor · 19/06/2021 07:36

Yes it's very annoying, as is whole families going to the supermarket and treating it like an adventure playground.

Needcoffeecoffeecoffee · 19/06/2021 07:37

Yes we have a family like that. Have to travel together. The youngest is always trying to join in and present at parties and activities for the older one wanting a party bag and food. And the dad is also there but on his phone. Which means one parent (doesnt matter which) could take whichever child not invited to the activity elsewhere for the hour.
Really annoys me. My dds are the same age and it's hard to explain why their child is ok to be there but mine not.
I think its because they think their children are so wonderful it's a blessing to bestow them all all the time on the rest of us

DazzlePaintedBattlePants · 19/06/2021 07:38

Oh God this does my head in. At a DCs swimming lesson this week a family of four with a baby that was a best days old turned up to perch on the side of the pool whilst the other child did swimming lessons. I mean, WTF? 99% certain it was because the DH was too incompetent to take the elder child swimming by themselves as the mum was busy trying to juggle the newborn and sort out the kid swimming hat etc, all whilst contained in the tiny side of pool viewing area.

As a PP said, 90% of the reasons for bringing everyone are spurious; see also whole family trips to the doctors/A&E. I was hoping social distance and capacity constraints because of COVID would have stopped this nonsense.

ssd · 19/06/2021 07:39

@mathanxiety

There are often reasons women can't drive that have nothing to do with their own choice. Frequently, they don't drive because they are stuck with a controlling partner. Quite often, their partner doesn't let them out alone and they end up going everywhere en famille.

They go supermarket shopping together so that he can control what she spends money on. He won't lower himself to bring a child to an activity. That would look too much like mutual respect (which equals being henpecked).

They all go together so that the woman isn't left at home to shag the milkman and so that she isn't out shagging the coach or someone else's partner at the child's activity.

Taking the other kids out for a walk isn't on because it's beneath the man's dignity, and if the woman does it, then she might be shagging other men, or other men might be looking at her.

I have come across quite a few very unhappy situations like this.

That makes a lot of sense

Sometimes its a control issue, not a case of playing happy families

Original poster
Ilikegreenshoes · 19/06/2021 07:39

Sorry, we're not in the UK, covid restrictions much looser here. (Mostly a formality). Sad thoughts about abusive relationships though. Sad

Love the idea of taking my own chair. Grin

OP posts:
OnlyFoolsnMothers · 19/06/2021 07:42

@burritofan

There'll be a good reason, even if it's not immediately obvious to you. Nah, it’ll be: “I do the food shop after and only DH drives so he drives me; I do the actual food shop. I won’t learn to drive because spurious reason and DH can’t do the food shop alone because spurious reason, so we travel as a giant pack”. Comes up repeatedly in these threads.
Haha so true
drspouse · 19/06/2021 07:43

We get younger siblings, but usually just with Dad, at DD Saturday morning football. But it's on a big school field so there is some point in taking the preschooler/brother for a run around!
Everything else is child only or one parent only at the moment.

Posieandpip · 19/06/2021 07:43

My family do pretty much everything together. 🤷🏽‍♀️ Any class or anything of this sort, we'd go together and then use it as an excuse to head out for an adventure or a treat afterwards. Saves time and we just enjoy each other's company so...

AppleKatie · 19/06/2021 07:43

@mathanxiety that’s a grim picture and sadly you are probably right.

Watermelon221 · 19/06/2021 07:45

I completely agree op and I often wonder the same myself.

I’d love to know why they do it too!

I do sometimes wonder if it’s a control issue too...

Crazycakelady17 · 19/06/2021 07:45

Best thing about Covid is the rule to one parent/carer per child for my DDs horse riding and dancing so much calmer and the children can concentrate on what they are doing hope the rules stay actually

LettyLoman · 19/06/2021 07:46

It’s odd and dumb. People do it at swimming too! And for the love of god buy your toddlers headphones. I don’t want to hear peppa pig.

Clickbait · 19/06/2021 07:48

I find this peculiar too. My DS plays football and one family usually turns up as Mum, Dad and two younger sisters. So boring for them!