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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Right way to wear rings

60 replies

thismummylovescake · 12/06/2021 21:24

Ok so I know this is a silly question and doesn't matter to much but it's something that I'm a bit conscious about so want to see people's opinions.
Just had my rings altered, my engagement is a thin band with a cluster diamond. My wedding ring is a thick ring with diamond stamps.
Since having them altered they both fit perfectly, however because my wedding ring is so thick it makes my engagement ring look a bit tight because it sits higher up on my finger and makes my finger look like it's got a muffin top
Would it look completely ridiculous to wear my engagement ring below my wedding ring??

OP posts:

User52739 · 12/06/2021 21:30

Not at all - I can’t imagine anyone would notice, and if they did I don’t think they would care!

tornadosequins · 12/06/2021 21:32

I think you might be wildly overestimating how much attention other people are paying to you and how much they might care about this even if they did notice.

MushMonster · 12/06/2021 21:32

I do wear my engagement ring first, then my wedding one.
I hope that more people tells you later on that that is ok

shouldistop · 12/06/2021 21:33

God have we to care about our fingers having muffin tops now too?

Cazzamoomoo · 12/06/2021 21:34

The comfortable way is the right way.

One of mine is smaller than the other, so I need to wear them in a certain order. I never knew there was a correct way to wear them.

Original poster

thismummylovescake · 12/06/2021 21:36

@tornadosequins

I think you might be wildly overestimating how much attention other people are paying to you and how much they might care about this even if they did notice.

I know I sound like I'm a bit daft

and I used to not think anything of it at all. But I've had two people (both elderly) in the past few months stop me when I'm in the queue at different shops with my two children. I didn't have my rings on at the time as my fingers were too fat after giving birth

and they both said something along the lines of ' oh you've got two young babies and your not married?' Now don't get me wrong I told both of these people that I don't need a husband to raise children. I have many people in my family that don't. But for some stupid reason this has made me a bit self conscious. I do strive to be a feminist. I hate the idea that I've been constantly told I should be the only one to look after my kids because I'm the woman in my marriage, or that I should have my husbands tea on the table when he gets in (it's ridiculous how much I've heard this) but for some reason being judged in this way has just made me feel weird. I know I need to grow a backbone!

OP posts:

Gazelda · 12/06/2021 21:37

I wear my engagement ring first, then the wedding band.
This is because the engagement ring is a tiny bit looser and I yo-yo diet. The wedding band keeps the other ring from falling off.

Original poster

thismummylovescake · 12/06/2021 21:38

@shouldistop

God have we to care about our fingers having muffin tops now too?

I think I have enough worry about my actual muffin top that I shouldn't worry about this

OP posts:

LuckyWookie · 12/06/2021 21:44

Your wedding ring is supposed to go on first so it’s closer to your heart!

Original poster

thismummylovescake · 12/06/2021 21:45

@LuckyWookie

Your wedding ring is supposed to go on first so it’s closer to your heart!

I never fully understand this though because both my rings mean the same amount to me. I wouldn't be married if my husband hadn't proposed. So both rings have so much sentimental value

OP posts:

tornadosequins · 12/06/2021 21:46

But I've had two people (both elderly) in the past few months stop me

And how many, many people have you passed or interacted with in that time who didn't behave like these two? Hundreds probably if you've been going to shops.

I'm not sure - if what you've quoted is what they said - was necessarily judgment so much as nosy chitchat. It could have been concern or admiration for you.

You inferred the judgment and jumped to defense. You could have just replied that you had a husband and continued the idle queueing chitchat, but you assumed they were thinking something negative and leapt to defend that getting upset in the process.

Have you seen either of those two women again? Aside from what's been going on in your head worrying, have there been any other negatives consequences?

BookShark · 12/06/2021 21:48

I wear my engagement ring on my right hand as it's a weird shape and doesn't fit my with wedding ring. Nobody has ever commented on it in the last 15 years...

Original poster

thismummylovescake · 12/06/2021 21:49

@tornadosequins

But I've had two people (both elderly) in the past few months stop me

And how many, many people have you passed or interacted with in that time who didn't behave like these two? Hundreds probably if you've been going to shops.

I'm not sure - if what you've quoted is what they said - was necessarily judgment so much as nosy chitchat. It could have been concern or admiration for you.

Have you seen either of those two women again? Aside from what's been going on in your head worrying, have there been any other negatives consequences?

The way you've put it makes me see I was probably being over sensitive. It was both men rather than women. But yes they could have just been commenting rather than judging. It was just the way in which it was said that made me feel uncomfortable, however I was very hormonal so that probably played a part. Thank you for making me see it a different way!

OP posts:

JustLyra · 12/06/2021 21:50

I wear mine engagement, wedding & eternity rings.

It’s the most comfortable and the order I got them in.

idontlikealdi · 12/06/2021 21:53

I've always worn mine the 'wrong' way round as Dh cocked yo the sizing and never got round to sorting it.

ELCSPlease · 12/06/2021 21:54

I would notice

But only because I work in a jewellers, so I do a) regularly look at other people's rings when I'm out and about and b) notice if they're wearing them in the 'wrong' order.

No judgment though, none of my business how you wear them, as long as they're comfortable

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/06/2021 21:54

The elderly people might not have recognised the wedding ring as it had diamonds in it. They might have been expecting a plain metal band.

When people have eternity rings, doesn’t the engagement ring usually go in the middle?

Anyway, wear whatever looks/feels best to you.

Oly4 · 12/06/2021 21:56

Nobody cares what order you wear them in.. I wouldn’t care less

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 12/06/2021 21:56

I think jt looks better with the engagement ring at the bottom. Looks the wrong way round with wedding band at the bottom imo. If I ever get married, I'll be wearing the wedding band in top.

Vicliz24 · 12/06/2021 22:02

I have five slim rings on my wedding finger. A 5th birthday present followed by my wedding ring followed by my aunts eternity ring followed by my engagement ring followed by my eternity ring and then one slim band I bought for myself. I don't care a bit about the " right" way and I'm not sure anyone else does either. Whatever makes you happy.

Original poster

thismummylovescake · 12/06/2021 22:08

Thanks for all the comments. I have now changed them round and am much more comfortable and don't care what anyone else thinks as no one in here seems to think it's an issue!

OP posts:

NoProblem123 · 12/06/2021 22:12

Tell the nosey bints to bog off !

Concestor · 12/06/2021 22:14

I didn't know there was an official order, I wear mine as eternity ring, engagement ring, wedding band as that's how they look nicest.

Angrymum22 · 12/06/2021 22:16

I wear my engagement ring and eternity ring first because they are slightly loose and more likely to fall off, I’ve lost them under the bed in the past when tidying up.
The eternity ring has the most sentimental and actual value. It was given on our 5th anniversary which was also the same year I had DH and also a significant birthday. It would really upset me if I lost it.

3cats4poniesandababy · 12/06/2021 22:19

I wear my wedding ring above my engagement ring. Why.. they just look better that way round. And my wedding ring helps hold my engagement ring on

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