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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to sell my kid... (light hearted fun!)

70 replies

OnNaturesCourse · 21/01/2021 10:42

3 year old - free to a good home today.

Having one of those days with my toddler where she wants to do nothing, everything I do is wrong, and she will argue black is white.

Anyone else 😂 come in, let's have a moan together.

OP posts:
FoxyTheFox · 21/01/2021 14:02

I've been told that a nightmare toddler equals an easy teenager and visa versa. I had two dream toddlers and two nightmare toddlers so the teenage years is going to be more of the same but taller.

Bananalanacake · 21/01/2021 14:05

Lizzy, if your 17 and 18 year olds can wipe their own bottoms and lie in until midday I will happily swap my 3 year old for them.

TheSunIsStillShining · 21/01/2021 14:09

I'm happy to swap my 15 year old today. He is an a**.

Treaclepie19 · 21/01/2021 14:53

Goblin King, Goblin King...

Original poster
OnNaturesCourse · 21/01/2021 15:03

Yep. I'd swap her for a teenager today... Least a teenager wouldn't be clinging to my leg while demanding more juice.

OP posts:
romany4 · 21/01/2021 15:07

Calmingvibrations

You're wasting energy hoping. I'm sorry....

rowlandsden · 21/01/2021 15:12

I have a very active cute 2 year old and will make you say awww when you look at him for the first time. Absolutely will make your heart melt. I will leave it at that as I'm marketing him so I don't want to mention why I'm giving him away as you can imagine wink wink 'terrible twos'. Anyway, I have an offer that comes with the toddler...

Take my toddler away and you will get my husband for free 🎉

Popfan · 21/01/2021 15:31

Hmmmm given the choice between teenager and toddler I think I'll take the toddler.

GrouchyKiwi · 21/01/2021 15:34

@FoxyTheFox

I've been told that a nightmare toddler equals an easy teenager and visa versa. I had two dream toddlers and two nightmare toddlers so the teenage years is going to be more of the same but taller.
Every time I suggest this, people with teenagers (or older) just laugh at me.

Alas, it seems my children are going to be difficult at every age. Apparently them being strongwilled will be a good thing when they're grown up. So I'm told.

Whentheleavesfalldown · 21/01/2021 15:38

I'll throw my almost two year old in as well!
Nothing right, constant whine, wants everything and anything.
This is day 10 of being stuck indoors self isolating, I'm hoping he'll get back to normal from tomorrow!

Norealclue · 21/01/2021 15:41

I would offer up my two 20 somethings complete with DC of their own but I could not afford the fees you would charge me.

Howmanysleepsnow · 21/01/2021 15:50

@rowlandsden

I have a very active cute 2 year old and will make you say awww when you look at him for the first time. Absolutely will make your heart melt. I will leave it at that as I'm marketing him so I don't want to mention why I'm giving him away as you can imagine wink wink 'terrible twos'. Anyway, I have an offer that comes with the toddler...

Take my toddler away and you will get my husband for free 🎉

I could be tempted by the toddler, but an extra husband? No.
Santaiscovidfree · 21/01/2021 16:23

Obviously a light hearted thread (and I wholeheartedly agree with your plan ) but my poor dh was regularly threatened with being taken to a kid's home. Ils even put him in the car and drove round and round the streets. Bastards..

Biffbaff · 21/01/2021 17:12

@Santaiscovidfree

Obviously a light hearted thread (and I wholeheartedly agree with your plan ) but my poor dh was regularly threatened with being taken to a kid's home. Ils even put him in the car and drove round and round the streets. Bastards..
My mum and dad used to threaten boarding school. Joke was on them because I'd read Malory Towers, it sounded amazing and I WANTED to go and have midnight feasts. I'd never say it to my children though. That's really sad about your poor husband.
updownroundandround · 21/01/2021 17:25

I'll take your 3yr old and trade you an 18yr old (and I'll throw in a 22yr old for FREE !!Grin )

Disastermagnet27 · 21/01/2021 17:37

Anyone want a 9 year old? I'll throw in his xbox for free!!Grin

Shinyletsbebadguys · 21/01/2021 17:44

Oooh excellent, not only am I offering an 8 year old who apparently cannot sit on a chair properly for love nor money and takes 2 hours in the morning apparently to remember his times tables (which he sodding knew the day before and learning starts an hour after he gets up) and a 5 year old who is physically incapable of not talking for more than 3 minutes.

I am also throwing in the laziest ddog in the south east (possibly the world but don't want to over sell it) who has taken to stopping dead in the path when she has decided to not walk any longer....resulting in some odd looks from passes by as I had to carry her up a hill to jump start her .

Currently DP is allowed to stay , but that's possibly because he is teaching in a hospital 70 miles away and can only video call once a day so he is bearable that may change if he continues to moan about his tough day as dinner is literally delivered to him on a silver platter in his hotel roomHmm

Any takers ? Nope , not surprised really.

Sexnotgender · 21/01/2021 17:45

@LizzyBennett

I'll swap one toddler for a 17 & 18 year old - any takers??
God no, my toddler’s a riot but infinitely easier than my 17 year old.
Sexnotgender · 21/01/2021 17:48

@Santaiscovidfree

Obviously a light hearted thread (and I wholeheartedly agree with your plan ) but my poor dh was regularly threatened with being taken to a kid's home. Ils even put him in the car and drove round and round the streets. Bastards..
That’s shit😕 though I do sometimes tell my parents they need to keep me on side as I’ll be choosing their care home😂
Shinyletsbebadguys · 21/01/2021 17:49

@Santaiscovidfree

Obviously a light hearted thread (and I wholeheartedly agree with your plan ) but my poor dh was regularly threatened with being taken to a kid's home. Ils even put him in the car and drove round and round the streets. Bastards..
Just to clarify we never ever say this to the DC as DP was sent away at 5 for being too difficult (which makes me so angry as he was clearly from the stories being just a normal 5 year old) very long story . Its different on MN though it allows me to let off steam. I very much doubt many people actually say this to their DC (at least I hope not these days).

Even when ds2 decided to do " science" in bed with the water in his bottle that he takes to bed....which unsurprisingly spilled....so he refilled from the bathroom tap....managed to do that 3 times before I got to him. Full bed change Confused and it was "For science ".

Howmanysleepsnow · 21/01/2021 18:01

@Shinyletsbebadguys

Oooh excellent, not only am I offering an 8 year old who apparently cannot sit on a chair properly for love nor money and takes 2 hours in the morning apparently to remember his times tables (which he sodding knew the day before and learning starts an hour after he gets up) and a 5 year old who is physically incapable of not talking for more than 3 minutes.

I am also throwing in the laziest ddog in the south east (possibly the world but don't want to over sell it) who has taken to stopping dead in the path when she has decided to not walk any longer....resulting in some odd looks from passes by as I had to carry her up a hill to jump start her .

Currently DP is allowed to stay , but that's possibly because he is teaching in a hospital 70 miles away and can only video call once a day so he is bearable that may change if he continues to moan about his tough day as dinner is literally delivered to him on a silver platter in his hotel roomHmm

Any takers ? Nope , not surprised really.

So that’s where my 8 year old is! Thought he was uncharacteristically quiet...
babybythesea · 21/01/2021 18:01

I tried to trade my DD for my shopping once. I had to do the weekly shop and she was being a nightmare. When it came time to pay I asked the cashier if she would accept a small child as part of the payment.
She’s now 12 and really lovely company now but it did seem like an appealing option that day - lose the whining infant and get some money off my shopping!!

babybythesea · 21/01/2021 18:03

@FoxyTheFox

I've been told that a nightmare toddler equals an easy teenager and visa versa. I had two dream toddlers and two nightmare toddlers so the teenage years is going to be more of the same but taller.
I have a quote pinned to my wall. It reads: I want my children to grow up to be independent and strong minded. I just need to be able to live with them first.
PlanetMJ · 21/01/2021 18:19

If you sell them, avoid eBay and go for Etsy instead.
You did make them yourself after all.

Original poster
OnNaturesCourse · 21/01/2021 18:20

@Santaiscovidfree

Obviously a light hearted thread (and I wholeheartedly agree with your plan ) but my poor dh was regularly threatened with being taken to a kid's home. Ils even put him in the car and drove round and round the streets. Bastards..
Oh my. That's horrible.

I was threatened with the Child Catcher and Jaggy Jumper Home but deep down knew it was humour.

OP posts: