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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish there were more hot men?

63 replies

Socialbutterfly198 · 25/12/2020 20:33

[Lighthearted thread]

I’m not a shallow person at all - prefer personality over looks. But very, very occasionally I come across an extremely hot guy, and I wish there were more of them around. The kind you just want to ravage right there and then. The kind who stirs a certain feeling within you, something you forgot existed, and you feel alive and buzzing again. If there were more of them around, perhaps I wouldn’t prefer personality over looks then 🤣 For me, I find so few attractive, it’s such a treat when I find one! And, no, I am not asexual or picky 🤓

OP posts:
jillypill · 26/12/2020 17:18

But I think a lot of British men don't make an effort eg with skin or body. You can make yourself look a lot better even with an average face if you are in shape, look after your skin, brush your hair etc

Dimples13 · 26/12/2020 17:53

I said the same to my DH recently, lots of attractive women out there, but seldom see men I find attractive. There used to be so many more to choose from Grin

livelyredjellybean · 26/12/2020 23:20

Is it because women tend to be more attracted to men because of the personality that goes with the looks rather than just straight looks? So while a man might be reasonably attractive to walk past, he can shift up to drop dead gorgeous when a woman gets to know his personality more?

21833efb · 26/12/2020 23:21

One of the hottest men I know prefers other men, such a shame as he is completely gorgeous, and single too...

MaraScottie · 26/12/2020 23:26

That is so true @Jillypill.

So many attractive men descend into slovenliness once they hit their 40s.

Nochristmasbreak · 26/12/2020 23:36

The ratio of women on mumsnet thinking their DH is hot/attractive/handsome is always disproportionately high.

The point about good looking men being rare everyone agrees with, yet everyone thinks their DH is a hottie. It's hilarious.

You claim your DH is gorgeous, I bet he isn't. I'm guessing he is either fat or has a gut. He is probably thinning on bald. His teeth are probably not great, and I bet he hasn't really looked after his skin.

The only good looking men are husbands of mumsnetters.

Pukkatea · 26/12/2020 23:39

I definitely think you see far more attractive women than men, and it leads to attractive women dating beneath their own level. I have a theory about hottest guy in the room syndrome - in an office, an entirely average man becomes the object of lust just by being the most attractive in a field of completely unattractive men.

I know loads of men with more attractive girlfriends, but the other way round? Nope, not one couple. I think women are just better looking.

shamalidacdak · 26/12/2020 23:44

YES!!! Unfortunately the UK is mainly blessed with lots of Mr Potato Heads.

ArtieFufkinPolymerRecords · 26/12/2020 23:55

Maybe it's an age thing? When I was young I would see lots of men that I fancied and probably would have thought I stood a chance with, whereas now I wouldn't even look at men in their early 20s like that, because I am old enough to be their mother, and most men my age are not hot, even if they were when they were young.

NC10101 · 27/12/2020 00:08

I disagree, go to any UK gym and you will find quite a few good looking, in-shape men, and about 20% as many women.

Original poster
Socialbutterfly198 · 27/12/2020 00:21

I live in a big city and have been to many gyms. Can’t ever remember seeing a hot stand out man. Sorry 🤷‍♀️

OP posts:
Original poster
Socialbutterfly198 · 27/12/2020 00:22

Just think it’s rare to come across the hot kind of man I’m talking about

Appreciate I may have impossibly high standards Xmas Grin much to my frustration!

OP posts:
Original poster
Socialbutterfly198 · 27/12/2020 00:23

Just seems unfair that men don’t have to look far for the equivalent hot woman

Wish I could have some eye candy from time to time, rather than once a year Xmas Sad

OP posts:
ReallySpicyCurry · 27/12/2020 00:42

I think it's because so many men don't do any sort of manual work anymore, and in general just aren't as physical.

I'm actually not a fan of an extremely pumped up, shaven chested gym look, I find a bit of a naturally strong, hairy, healthy glow and rugged look more attractive, but it's not something you get in the average office worker who games in their spare time.

Bobbi73 · 27/12/2020 01:14

I used to find my DH hugely sexy despite him not being traditionally handsome, he's tall and used to be all baggy jeans and nice t-shirts but he's got fat, does no exercise ever, doesn't shave very often and just doesn't look after himself. I know it sounds shallow but I just don't really fancy him even though I love him. I'm no oil painting either but I do the best with what I have. I think we'd see a lot more attractive men if they could be bothered.
BTW. Go to Argentina. The people, men and women, are bloody gorgeous or at least it seemed that way when I went there! 😁

praepondero · 27/12/2020 10:22

If a man is successful, as in rich and powerful, women miles out of his league looks-wise, would find him attractive. Power is a great aphrodisiac.

jillypill · 27/12/2020 10:36

I do think power & intelligence & humour can be very attractive. However I have no desire to ravage Donald Trump or Bill Bailey. Sometimes I just want a beautiful face 😆

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 27/12/2020 11:04

So many attractive men descend into slovenliness once they hit their 40s.

seems to be the opposite around me, it's when men (and women to be fair) go crazy with exercise, have more money, more time, established careers, are done with the constant partying and go nuts (and toned and interesting!)

Original poster
Socialbutterfly198 · 27/12/2020 11:07

Power is a great aphrodisiac.

For some women perhaps. Certainly not me.

The hotness I’m talking about is pure physical beauty...

OP posts:
Original poster
Socialbutterfly198 · 27/12/2020 11:08

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping where do you live?? 😀

OP posts:
Original poster
Socialbutterfly198 · 27/12/2020 11:09

Go to Argentina. The people, men and women, are bloody gorgeous or at least it seemed that way when I went there!

I feel that way about younger men in southern Spain. So many look like GQ models!

OP posts:
heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 27/12/2020 11:12

@Socialbutterfly198

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping where do you live?? 😀
haha I am South East, working in Central London. If I was single, I wouldn't feel lonely!

There are some REALLY fit dads around the football/rugby pitches... there's a reason why so many mums take the kids there at the weekend Grin

heseesyouwhenyouaresleeping · 27/12/2020 11:13

I feel that way about younger men in southern Spain. So many look like GQ models!

Is it just me or a lot of very fit and hot Spanish men are just a bit on the short side? I

nosswith · 27/12/2020 11:16

OP, I am a man, and don't blame you for your thoughts. The levels of obesity in the UK, the complete absence of style, men who have beards that just look as if they cannot be bothered, grey jogging bottoms that are awful, to name a few. And if the temperature gets above 25C, then even worse.

Italian, French and Spanish men are much more stylish.

Kumquatsquash · 27/12/2020 11:18

Surely it only seems that way because women wear make up, hair extensions, shape wear, etc. I can turn heads when I'm done up, but am practically invisible in jogging bottoms and a mum bun.

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