I almost caused a car accident

fuzzymoon · 15/12/2020 05:00

You're in shock and when you've been in a traumatic situation your brain does this to try to make sense of it.
It will get less over time. Tell yourself that it's ok, people make mistakes , that you've learnt from it.
We all have had moments that keep you awake at night for a while.

Original poster

Holyjinglebells · 15/12/2020 05:07

@fuzzymoon thanks.... I just want to curl up in a ball... I'm so cross with myself

OP posts:

Palatka · 15/12/2020 05:13

It could have been bad, but it wasn't. Thank your lucky stars and try to put it behind you. It happens to most of us, and most of the time we get away with it.

Don't beat yourself up over it.

Pumpertrumper · 15/12/2020 05:25

Don’t beat yourself up.

I frequently worry I’m unsafe to drive but have no choice. It’s all well and good saying ‘don’t drive whilst tired...etc’ but you have a baby and suddenly you’re like ‘yeah I think I’m too tired to drive’ and people just treat you like you’re a giant drama queen or incompetent.

I live rurally (no public transport) and have multiple medical apts (DS is being seen by paediatrics at local hospital) and I’m pregnant again. No one gives a shit I’m tired they just expect I get on with it. Accident waiting to happen really!

BlackCatShadow · 15/12/2020 05:29

I ran a red light once. I just spaced out and went through it. Lucky the guy coming the other way wasn't going too fast and we were fine.

I think everyone makes mistakes sometimes. Mostly, as long as you aren't speeding , the consequences will be minor.

BethlehemIsInTier1 · 15/12/2020 05:30

@Holyjinglebells

I almost caused a car accident yesterday by pulling out into traffic that must have been going faster than I thought. It was a stupid impulsive decision, my child was in the car... I can't stop beating myself up about it. I know I was unreasonable. I'm just playing out extremely bad scenarios in my head now.

It's not an accident if your driving is the cause of it.

BethlehemIsInTier1 · 15/12/2020 05:31

@Pumpertrumper

Don’t beat yourself up.

I frequently worry I’m unsafe to drive but have no choice. It’s all well and good saying ‘don’t drive whilst tired...etc’ but you have a baby and suddenly you’re like ‘yeah I think I’m too tired to drive’ and people just treat you like you’re a giant drama queen or incompetent.

I live rurally (no public transport) and have multiple medical apts (DS is being seen by paediatrics at local hospital) and I’m pregnant again. No one gives a shit I’m tired they just expect I get on with it. Accident waiting to happen really!

You do have a choice, if you get in that car knowing your unsafe to drive, you are breaking the law and putting yourself and others at risk.

Boomclaps · 15/12/2020 05:44

@BethlehemIsInTier1 I don’t think pumper means that. You can get in the car and get half way to the doctors before the wave of exhaustion hits for example

Brahumbug · 15/12/2020 05:51

It's not an accident if your driving is the cause of it

By that definition, there is mo such things an accident as they all have a cause. The important thing is that you have acknowledged that you made a mistake. You learn from that and try to become a better driver. Many drivers who make errors try to blame others and lear nothing.

garlictwist · 15/12/2020 05:53

That happened to me the other week. I realised I was in the wrong lane and for some reason just swerved across without checking and narrowly avoided a van. I have no idea what came over me but I keep reliving it and thinking how stupid I was.

Pumpertrumper · 15/12/2020 06:29

You do have a choice, if you get in that car knowing your unsafe to drive, you are breaking the law and putting yourself and others at risk

I mean not really. Not when you’re always tired because your baby doesn’t sleep and they need to attend an urgent hospital apt. You’d be shocked how non understanding people are in those situations. New mums do not get a ‘it’s ok we’ll just leave you alone for a few months until they start sleeping’. I’ve been made to feel very guilty for cancelling and rescheduling apts.
Plus there’s little point.

‘Sorry I got less than an hours sleep last night we can’t come’
‘Right, well it’s urgent we see him can you bring him tomorrow?’

‘ yeah sure I’m certain my baby will have learnt to sleep by tomorrow!’

I don’t think pumper means that. You can get in the car and get half way to the doctors before the wave of exhaustion hits for example

This is very true. Often set off ‘a bit tired’ but by the time I’m coming back am totally exhausted and don’t even remember driving home.

Pumpertrumper · 15/12/2020 06:31

A few weeks into being a mum I had to take DS to midwives and broke down in tears at the thought of driving there. I spoke to the midwife and said ‘I just don’t think I can drive I’m so tired’ and she very sympathetically responded ‘oh lovey if every tired mum didn’t drive half the country would come to a stop’.

MsTSwift · 15/12/2020 06:37

A man drove into me on my bike the other day I was already in the road he just pulled out. Bruised my arm but otherwise ok. He was nearly crying.

Providora · 15/12/2020 06:39

I bet pretty much every single time you go out in the car you see some dickhead pull out or do something silly that would cause an accident if you weren't paying attention yourself.

Well, today it was your turn to be that dickhead and someone else's turn to stay vigilant and cover for you. You're square with the universe, it's all good :)

wildraisins · 15/12/2020 06:40

@Pumpuertrumper What an irresponsible thing for your midwife to say!
You have to put your safety and your child's safety first in this situation! Have you looked into any other transport to the hospital - sometimes they will fund taxis for you. You really shouldn't be driving if you're tired. If you have to keep rearranging appointments then that's absolutely fine - don't let them tell you it's not.

OP I'm sorry you had a traumatic experience. Take it easy and look after yourself. Maybe you also need a little break from driving for a few days.

PurpleFlower1983 · 15/12/2020 06:42

I’m sure the vast majority of us have made mistakes like this at one time of another, I know I have. We’re human and sometimes make errors of judgement. Try not to dwell on it for too long.

Eng123 · 15/12/2020 06:50

We all make mistakes on the road from time to time. Usually a collision only occurs when two people make an error the latter normally being to not pay attention! Obviously if you feel dangerous then don't drive but it is normal to make errors of judgment on the road. I've often said that driving simplifies down to getting from "A" to "B" without hitting "C". You did that though you recognise that you made a poor choice, that is important because you are unlikely to repeat it!

Pumpertrumper · 15/12/2020 06:51

@wildraisins

There wasn’t anything as DS was born in March and most of this was during lockdown/height of covid. Taxis were no go, hospital transport nil! I suppose it was safer on the basis the roads were much quieter.

DS has got a bit better now. It’s very rare I have to drive very tired. I massively empathise with those who do though. I think you always assume that when you hit your limit you’ll just be able to say that and everyone will understand but then you do and nobody understands and you’re made to feel shit

Nishky · 15/12/2020 06:53

@Providora excellent post!

One of my friends claims God occasionally gives us a ‘free one’ to keep us on our toes.

I will say with certainty that anyone who claims never to have made an error whilst driving is a bare faced liar

Nishky · 15/12/2020 06:56

Oh and to suggest a ‘little break from driving’ is ridiculous

nosswith · 15/12/2020 06:58

@Pumpertrumper yes you do, as there is the option of calling a taxi or in some cases another family member driving. If you are or feel unwell or unfit to drive you should not, no excuses.

The point about most crashes not being accidents by another poster is well made.

OP, the important thing here is to learn lessons from what happened and in a way your concern/shock shows you care.

Ratched · 15/12/2020 06:58

I have been driving for forty two years now and have never had an accident. BUT, I have come close a few of times and always because I was not concentrating, miles away thinking of the house move, or the sick dog or the parent in hospital.
Everyone, and I mean everyone cocks up when driving, and anyone saying they don't is a liar.
I am a really patient driver now, if someone pulls out in front of me I am far more forgiving of it than I used to be. Because we are all human and we all make mistakes.

It will wear off OP, it is the shock, but its not a bad thing to get a sharp reminder 😙

mollscroll · 15/12/2020 06:59

@Providora

I bet pretty much every single time you go out in the car you see some dickhead pull out or do something silly that would cause an accident if you weren't paying attention yourself.

Well, today it was your turn to be that dickhead and someone else's turn to stay vigilant and cover for you. You're square with the universe, it's all good :)

I like this.

bobbiester · 15/12/2020 07:06

@Pumpertrumper

Don’t beat yourself up.

I frequently worry I’m unsafe to drive but have no choice. It’s all well and good saying ‘don’t drive whilst tired...etc’ but you have a baby and suddenly you’re like ‘yeah I think I’m too tired to drive’ and people just treat you like you’re a giant drama queen or incompetent.

I live rurally (no public transport) and have multiple medical apts (DS is being seen by paediatrics at local hospital) and I’m pregnant again. No one gives a shit I’m tired they just expect I get on with it. Accident waiting to happen really!

This is absolutely terrible advice. Planned medical appointments are no excuse - emergencies maybe - but not planned appointments.

Schehezarade · 15/12/2020 07:09

I don't think it will be your first or your last.
it's part of life I think.