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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I almost caused a car accident

46 replies

Holyjinglebells · 15/12/2020 04:55

I almost caused a car accident yesterday by pulling out into traffic that must have been going faster than I thought. It was a stupid impulsive decision, my child was in the car... I can't stop beating myself up about it. I know I was unreasonable. I'm just playing out extremely bad scenarios in my head now.

OP posts:

Cartooner · 15/12/2020 07:12

@Pumpertrumper my local village has a network for helping/supporting people inculding driving to appointments and the categories are ill, elderly or mums in need of support. I see it's passed for you, but if it happened again you could try reach out even rurually there will be people delighted to help someone in your situation.

MrsBrunch · 15/12/2020 07:23

That's why they're called accidents and not 'on purposes'.

A split second wrong decision is all it takes. Life is made up of split second decisions. Luckily this one caused no harm.

Taylrse · 15/12/2020 07:28

It happens to all of us at times unfortunately.
I nearly caused an accident on a road near me, now I'm extra careful when I get to that road. You learn from it.

Pumpertrumper · 15/12/2020 07:29

I do think maybe my experience was impacted by covid as there really was no option to ‘call a taxi’ (we live rurally as it is so non local and they simply refused to come out here throughout lockdown...etc) or family members/friends (most were shielding or felt very uncomfortable sharing cars which would have been a massive imposition.

I think there is as much responsibility on professionals to respect ‘I’m too tired to drive’ as there is on people to say it. As a panicky new mum in the midst of covid I 100% feared I’d end up reported to SS for ‘refusing’ to bring DS to meet apts...etc.

I didn’t feel I had a choice and professionals were not understanding.

LovingCountryLife · 15/12/2020 07:30

@Pumpertrumper

Don’t beat yourself up.

I frequently worry I’m unsafe to drive but have no choice. It’s all well and good saying ‘don’t drive whilst tired...etc’ but you have a baby and suddenly you’re like ‘yeah I think I’m too tired to drive’ and people just treat you like you’re a giant drama queen or incompetent.

I live rurally (no public transport) and have multiple medical apts (DS is being seen by paediatrics at local hospital) and I’m pregnant again. No one gives a shit I’m tired they just expect I get on with it. Accident waiting to happen really!

Take a taxi

Original poster

Holyjinglebells · 15/12/2020 07:36

@garlictwist yip, reliving it, though feeling a bit better now
Thanks all, lesson well and truly learned. It was stupid and thoughtless and would have been tragic as the oncoming traffic was very fast. I count myself lucky. Still very annoyed with myself though.

OP posts:

Elderflower14 · 15/12/2020 07:37

I had a lady almost pull out in front of me yesterday. I was cycling home from work. She came bombing up to a junction and just as she was about to pull out she saw me and mouthed sorry...

HugeAckmansWife · 15/12/2020 07:39

lovingcountry Read the thread 🙄
The poster just explained why she can't, plus not everyone has ££ sitting around for taxi fares.
OP, as others have said, all kotirists occasionally getting it wrong. I've been driving 30 years with only two very minor scrapes with car park pillars but I've had a few near misses when a moments inattention or poor lighting or whatever caused me to make a turn or switch lanes at the wrong time but everyone does. As a pp said. Usually the other driver, which 99% of the time is me, is aware enough and driving defensively enough to avoid it.

cyclingmad · 15/12/2020 07:43

Getting in a car and driving when you know your tired is dangerous. Why do you think they stick up signs on motorways reminding you to not drive if your tired.

That ont time you get in a car tired and hit someone or cause an accident could change your life and theirs would you say it was worth a cab fare?

suggestionsplease1 · 15/12/2020 07:43

My advice - let it shock you. It is right to have these responses as they make you more aware and vigilant the next time.

I do agree, everyone has these moments but I think the ones that experience a real wake up call are less likely to repeat compared to the ones that brush it off.

Barmyfarmy · 15/12/2020 07:52

Sorry you've had a scare, OP! I remember being in a similar situation not long after DS1 was born and I was beating myself up for weeks. Looking back I know it was an accident and nothing I did could have been avoided.

It's completely natural for you to be responding this way and is just an intense sign from your body and mind showing how much you love and care for you child. It's just a reminder to be careful and not take for granted what we have and doesn't reflect badly on you. You must be a great mum if you've been this worried!

You'll feel better in the next couple of days, go easy on yourself, you've done nothing wrong and you need to process this.

Al1langdownthecleghole · 15/12/2020 07:55

@Providora

I bet pretty much every single time you go out in the car you see some dickhead pull out or do something silly that would cause an accident if you weren't paying attention yourself.

Well, today it was your turn to be that dickhead and someone else's turn to stay vigilant and cover for you. You're square with the universe, it's all good :)

Wise words, Providora.

Frieswithanythin · 15/12/2020 08:04

I nearly caused a crash myself on Sunday and still feel bad. I was waiting for the traffic to clear to cross into my street. A guy in a white van flashed twice, so I assumed he was letting me through. Doing my turn and he kept driving. Missed by inches. He’s beeping his horn angrily.

Grenlei · 15/12/2020 08:20

The important thing is nothing happened. You didn't hit anyone, they didn't hit you. Nothing was damaged and no one was hurt.

You were aware enough to realise you almost caused a collision, and you will remember that and learn from it. Far better that than not to have even noticed and be completely oblivious (as I'm sure some drivers I see driving extremely poorly are).

It does feel a bit shocking, I had a nasty potential incident on the motorway a few weeks ago (driving in dark and rain, I can't see very well in the dark anyway and this made it worse) and I did feel quite horrible afterwards, actually had a cry when I got home. But it has made me a little more cautious now which is good and reaffirmed to me that I need to complete any motorway drives in daylight - because the previous 3 hours of the journey had been absolutely fine.

TheTurnOfTheScrew · 15/12/2020 08:22

it's great that you're aware and reflecting on staying safer. I've certainly had a silly near miss in the past.

my worry is more the people who aren't aware of the mistakes they're making. At least one a month someone sails through the mini roundabout near me from my left causing me to break hard and very often they don't appear to notice. I bet a proportion of them think they're great drivers who never make mistakes, which is scary,

nannybeach · 15/12/2020 08:23

I frequently go 5 miles, takes 10 minutes, in that time so many people have pulled out in front of me, no indication, stopping dead, tailgating, took my driing test with a Police examiner, prided myself, over 40 years, last year, I hit a car on my right on a roundabout, there is one out of our Sainsubry, almost no-one indicates they are going left, you have to assume they are, and not going striahgt on, (there is nothing to turn right for, brings you back in Saisbury carpark)otherwise you could sit there for 50 years.I felt sick ill, had my dgd in the back, so angry! My last job a 50 mile commute, lost count of how many near misses, not caused by me

ConstantlySeekingHappiness · 15/12/2020 08:25

I bet pretty much every single time you go out in the car you see some dickhead pull out or do something silly that would cause an accident if you weren't paying attention yourself

Exactly this!

Think of every single occasion you’ve seen someone do something stupid on the road. Either deliberate or accidental. There are prick drivers everywhere driving dangerously and completely careful drivers who will make a mistake every now and then.

It happens! We’ve all been there!

dramallama7 · 15/12/2020 08:34

Please don't beat yourself up over it (easier said than done, I know!) but we all make mistakes, none of us are perfect drivers and you learn from then.

I ran straight through a red light last week, they hadn't even just changed and my eyes were fully on the road so I had no reason to do so. I then panicked and stupidly just stopped the car a little further up. I have also misjudged traffic before. Thankfully no accidents. Be easy on yourself, I can guarantee you'll feel a lot better in a day or so.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 15/12/2020 08:50

Far better that than not to have even noticed and be completely oblivious (as I'm sure some drivers I see driving extremely poorly are).

I have a near miss as a pedestrian on a nearby crossing* roughly once a week when the lights are red and I'm able to cross. I've had to jump out of the way and had arm clipped.

*There's a crossing near to me where it's a few metres away from a filter lane off a roundabout: it's dual lane 4 metres to the crossing and after but abruptly reduces to one lane . At least once a week someone from the filter lane hopes to beat out a vehicle on the roundabout and goes for the gap - the driver fails to notice that the lights on the crossing are changing to red. Because the filter lane's off and behind the pedestrian, you can't see the filter lane. Car runs the crossing - sometimes the driver knows but all too often the driver doesn't even know what they've done.

Beautiful3 · 15/12/2020 09:20

Hi this was mr this morning! I made a bad judgement call and almost caused an accident with both children in the car. Now I'm home I'm replaying it in my head and kicking myself. We are all human beings, we make mistakes. You just made a mistake, you know better for next time. Same here! Love yourself and be kind to yourself.

Original poster

Holyjinglebells · 15/12/2020 09:25

Thank you all x

OP posts:

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