Moved home and hate it - want to move back!

[Jogalog]

3 months ago I moved home with my husband and 2 children. I pushed for the move - wanted a bigger house in a ‘nicer’ village. Husband went along with it to keep me happy but really wanted to stay where we were. Move was delayed due to lockdown and I found it very stressful wondering if the chai would collapse - but I was so relieved that it didn’t! And so we moved....first day in the house I thought we’d made a massive mistake. Removal men were still unpacking and I went to the bottom of the garden and cried my eyes out. And I’ve done that every day since. Realise I really really miss my old house, village and neighbours- and I guess the feeling of security and familiarisation. And the max thing is we’ve only moved 3 miles! Spoken to loads of people and they say give it time - but I just want to move back NOW! Even if I lose some money on the house. The thought of staying here for even a year fills me with absolute dread and sadness. Anyone else gone through this and either stuck it out or moved back?

This is a 9 month old thread.
Is there an update OP?

We moved into this house 4 years ago. We'd lived in our previous house for 15 years. I still have dreams about the previous house! In the dreams I've let myself into the house to collect belongings that we've left behind and end up making myself a cup of tea. The dream always ends with the new owners coming home!

I miss that house so much BUT it was far too small. I think it's an emotional attachment more than anything; it was our first house together, we brought our babies home to it, we renovated etc etc.

If you can afford to be that impulsive, move back. Otherwise make the best of it, maybe seek counseling?

.

How do you feel afew months on @Jogalog?? I moved 2 weeks ago, from the best street with the best neighbours. I had a lovely sized 3 bed house with a huge drive and huge back garden. It was near the town so an easy walk to places. I had everything really!! The reason why i gave it all up and sold was because 3 miles down the road is the village i grew up in, and i always said i would love to move back there so my 2 young daughters can have a village upbringing like myself, plus my daughters go to the village school and nursery so thought it would be lovely to walk to those daily instead of drive. So we sold our house, found a lovely house 30 secs from the village school, and the bonus of the house was a downstairs loo, a garage and a conservatory which makes the perfect play room. However i hate it and cry daily!!!! I hate that we have to drive to get anywhere now, our back garden is quarter the size and i thought i would be ok with that but im not and it backs onto the loudest road (the main road through the village) whereas my old garden backed onto a graveyard so was v.peaceful!! The driveway is also only just big enough for 1 car and its so hard to drive onto it because of cars that park on the road. Plus i live in a row of 5 houses and they all keep themselves to themselves, so long gone are the neighbours who would always be there for you if need be. I just feel like i have made the biggest mistake ever!!!

It is 3 miles.

I feel for you OP. I’m going through something similar, although nearly 18 months in now. We moved to a “nicer” area, better schools, larger house etc. Since we moved in Dec 2019 it has been one shit show after another Covid, horrible school mums at new school, lack of community feel etc. House is modern but still needs a shit tonne of work which there is limited money for at the moment.

I cry everyday and am always thinking to myself “what have we done”. I miss my small cottage in not so nice area. We were happy. The only thing keeping me going at the moment is that the kids are thriving in their new school and are really happy there.

I have no advice to give but I’m thinking of you and can only hope it gets better?

I thought it was just me who was in this position , we moved here 4 years ago i was happy for 3 of them, it was our last move but i hate it i like the front part of the house but hate the back section the back garden is nice but someone moved into the house at the back cut a lot of bushes down in their garden and suddenly this big brown house is looming over us we have had to plant a mixed edge which has cost us a lot as they are 6 ft tall we have tried everything to make it nice and liveable spent a lot of money it's been a money pit but i just don't feel like i am home i'm on edge all the time iv'e ended up on anxiety medication We are giving it until after christmas if we still feel the same we will put it onto the market life is too short to be unhappy in your home that; is supposed to be your safe haven and only you can correct it but if we sell and we find a new home we will be looking at everything, spending time walking past and making sure it is what we want because not loving your home ruins your health as it is mine

@Pizzatoast

We panic bought our house after landlord decided to sell their house which we were renting.

I was just about to post on MN to vent my frustrations! Glad to see I’m not the only one!

I totally get you OP.

The house we live in doesn’t feel like a home. We have unusable space but there is lots of it. We have found ourselves living in cramped conditions.

Although we have four bedrooms, we only use two. One bedroom is unusable due to fitted wardrobes we can’t afford to pull out. Or redecorate once that’s done.

The fourth is an office which isn’t attached to the house.

There is so much unusable hall space and a WC that we don’t use at all. It’s always locked and I could really do with converting this unused WC into a coat and shoes storage room.

The other WC downstairs doesn’t have a window and is used as a shower room. It’s damp and all the paint is coming off like it’s wallpaper.

The upstairs en-suite and bathroom are broken.

I feel like I’m living in a shell. Not the home we paid for.

Not forgetting the umpteen things that are wrong with the house. We bought it in the summer . A week after we moved in we realised the property had major leak issues which were cleverly hidden with a thick coat of paint and botch jobs.

Can’t afford the cost of putting the place back together even though we’ve been living here for almost 2 years.

Partner is happy here because as long as he’s got a place to shit, shower, shave and tap away at his computer it doesn’t bother him.

I don't get any of this rather whiny post. You don't have 4 bedrooms, you have three. It doesn't cost money to pull out wardrobes, unless you count the cost of a hammer. It sounds like you have tonnes of space but can't be bothered to use it or do anything, and as for broken bathrooms...they were either like that when you bought it or you broke them yourself, either way it's what you bought! Did you not look at the house before you bought it?

I imagine this is a pretty common feeling. We got the keys to our house a few weeks ago and my first gut reaction walking in on completion day was ‘oh shit, was this a mistake’. But we’ve been gradually moving our belongings out of our rented flat and into the house, and now it’s starting to feel right. It’s just a massive shock, it’s a huge purchase and I think it’s natural to have a bit of a waver.

I remember feeling like this when we moved 10 years ago. The upheaval really threw me! I didn't like the teachers at my kids new schools either. We had moved to a much nicer area and a much better house but I felt so unsettled and cried everyday for weeks. It just didn't feel like my home.
I stuck it out because the kids were really happy in their new schools. Husband was happy too. We have been here 10 years now and have turned it into our home. I absolutely love my house!

Hi @Jogalog I have just found your post and having read it, I can relate to everything you felt. Can I ask how things are now? I too have recently moved (May 21) and cry every day because I hate it so much. I regret moving and just wish I could turn back time. 3 kids, wanted bigger, moved to a better area, busy road, old house needing renovating (been renovating since May)……the list goes on!

@CasaF

Hi *@Jogalog* I have just found your post and having read it, I can relate to everything you felt. Can I ask how things are now? I too have recently moved (May 21) and cry every day because I hate it so much. I regret moving and just wish I could turn back time. 3 kids, wanted bigger, moved to a better area, busy road, old house needing renovating (been renovating since May)……the list goes on!

i hate our house so much and wish i could turn back the clock and go back to our old home , i am 4 years on!! it has caused me to be on anxiety medicine these past 6 months because it has got that bad, i hate waking up everyday here We have totally renovated but it still doesn't feel like home We are now on the market to sell as life is too short and i know i won't settle down i cry everyday it's ruining my family life i am just wanting to be alone your home is supposed to be your safe haven where you feel happy and content hope you can settle down eventually

@Jogalog
i wondered how you are doing?
Did you move back?

i find some of the posts here cruel. You were asking for help, not ridicule.
(Mumsnet has acquired some of the hostility of Twitter)
No harm in asking people you sold to if they’d sell the house back. What’s to lose?

we moved 5 years ago and I still dream of moving back.

Anyway, hope things have settled for you one way or another.

I can identify with this- I moved to a new city over 3 years ago, and I still don't like it! I want to move back, but can't afford it at the moment...

Hi I know your post is old, but I’m in the same boat, I’ve moved and I hate it and I’m so depressed, what did you do?

All I can say is it will improve. I literally hated my house, was on antidepressants (I need to add - it was an awful year: brother dying, child getting seriously ill, money issues). I kind of ‘blamed ‘ the new house and felt that everything had been fine in the old one. I feel much better now, but it took about 4 years! Hopeful it’ll happen sooner for you x

@Jogalog did you move in the end or grow to like it

Thread is 4yrs old

Moving costs thousands. I would be upset if i were your hubby.

The grass isnt always greener.

I agree. Unhappiness can make you ill.

Sometimes upgrading to a "nicer" area and bigger house or flat etc isnt worth the upheaval or expense.

Better the devil you know.