To refuse to send my child to a pirate party

[Mashbocking1]

A nursery friend of my 4 yo DS is having a pirate themed birthday party. I’m planning to decline the invite as I don’t think it’s appropriate for little children, or anyone for that matter, to dress up as a pirate - it’s glorifying and sentimentalising criminal men who raped, robbed and murdered.

FFS, piracy used to carry the death penalty until recently! You wouldn’t let your child go to a Nazi themed party - I can’t see much difference!

Oh dear @TonytheDog, you best put your jumper in the washaaaaaaaaar!

What's a pirate's favourite chocolate?

Daaaaarrrrk chocolate.

What's a pirate's favourite north African country?

Tunisiaaaaaaaaa

It could be worse op, it could be soo much worse.
My soon to be 6 year old has asked for a SpongeBob Square Pants party.
I am having to dress up as the pirate at the beginning of the theme tune and then... sing it.
Ooooooooooo
Lives in a pineapple under the sea....
Kill me now.
Besides, everyone knows the best thing about being a pirate isn't the cutlasses or the looting.
It's ham night!!!!

Excellent @TheMemoryLingers

Omg this is surely a joke? I think you need to chill out.

What is a pirate's favourite phone?
A Nokiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

What's a pirate's favourite social media messaging system?

Whaaaaaats Aaaaaaaap.

I would Dahl but I haven't got any washing powdaaaaaaaaaaaa 😁🍷

What is a pirate's favourite conifer of the family Pinaceae?

The laaaaaaarch

What's a pirates favourite childhood game?
Maaaaaaarbles.

TheMemoryLingers 😁😂

Send your child as a Barbary Corsair, who took over a million white Christian slaves from Europe (including an entire villlage in Ireland) and tell them to capture some free labour

Oh no @TonytheDog, you'd best get yourself down to asdaaaaaaaaa to get some

What do pirates drink?
Coca Colaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

What's a pirate's favourite left-wing newspaper?

The Guaaarrrrrrdian.

What's a pirates favourite sweet?
Smaaaaaarties!

Who is a pirate's favourite South African freedom fighter/president?

Nelson Mandelaaaaaaaaaa

What's a pirate's favourite right-wing newspaper?

The Telegraaaaaaaph.

What's a pirate's favourite tv soap?
East Endaaaaaaaaaas

This is virtue signalling a la extreme!

Brilliant!

What's a pirates favourite party game?
Paaaaars the Paaaaaarcel.

Yup, you are batshit hon :)

You are officially a FUN SPONGE ( i.e you manage to suck the fun out of everything) :(

You really think any of the 4yr olds will know exactly what pirates did ??

I bet you've told your poor DC that the Easter bunny, Tooth fairy, Santa, Elves (on shelves or otherwise) are not real cos you don't want to lie to them haven't you ??

Or how about telling DC that no, they cannot have another piece of cake cos then they will develop an eating problem, become obese, fur up their arteries and die a horrible death from heart disease in their 50's ??

Your poor, poor DC :(

What's a pirate's favourite method of tracking the date?

A calendaaaaaaaaargh