To refuse to send my child to a pirate party

[Mashbocking1]

A nursery friend of my 4 yo DS is having a pirate themed birthday party. I’m planning to decline the invite as I don’t think it’s appropriate for little children, or anyone for that matter, to dress up as a pirate - it’s glorifying and sentimentalising criminal men who raped, robbed and murdered.

FFS, piracy used to carry the death penalty until recently! You wouldn’t let your child go to a Nazi themed party - I can’t see much difference!

I once went to a party as Cruella DeVil. Haven't killed a single puppy yet.

Will you also be declining invites to Prince and Princess parties too?

Think the OP would fit right in as a Princess to be honest.

Ookay, really should read the thread first, I'm now just hear for the pirate puns

here

OP, are you winding us up??

I was in a really bad mood today

Headache, heavy period, other half irritating the fuck out of me, kids being little feckers and me washing machine is broken.

Then I read this and suddenly the fact that there is a Pirate Hating Bint out there with her Miss Olsen bloomers wound so far up her Cadbury's Canal that shit is just spouting out of her gob just made everything alright again.

A pirate goes to see his doctor and asks him to look at the spots on his arm.

The doctor examines them and says, "Nothing to worry about, they're benign."
The pirate says, "No Doc, there be eleven. I counted them before I came here."

What does a pirate put on his chips?

Vinegaaaaaaaaar

This is a joke thread surely?

Where does a pirate buy his undies?

Maaaaaaaaaarks and Spencer

Just when I was getting bored with the same old same old threads, along comes this.

Thank you OP, Mumsnet gold.

What is a pirate's favourite nursery rhyme?

Baaaaaar baaaaaaaaaar blacksheep

What did the Pirate find down the toilet? The captains log oooh arghhhh!

Or Mary had a little laaaaaaaaaaaamb

Erm there were female pirates you know. #womencanpillagetoo
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Women_in_piracy

What does a pirate put on his toast?

Maaaaaaaarmite

What are the nine letters of the pirate alphabet?

Are, arrrrr and the seven seas

What's a pirate's favourite long running radio soap opera?

The aaaaaaaaaaarchers

What's a pirate's favourite month?

Maaaaaaarch

Where is a pirate most ticklish?

His aaaaaaarmpit

My chums got an artificial leg, car accident years ago, her nicknames Peg and her go-to fancy dress party costume is female pirate.

I assume we'll be going to hell for encouraging her

@TonytheDog - joke about the ship's wheel - your post has just made me laugh like Mutley.

What is a pirate's favourite Bible story?

Noah and is aaaaaaaark

What's a pirate's favourite cartoon character?

Baaaaaaaaart Simpson

I know someone who is an actor. He really does have a false leg.

When he appears in Pirates of Penzance he has a wooden one