To wish the window cleaner

[windowcleaneryikes]

Would make an appointment?

I took the DCs to school, came home, and got back into my lovely warm bed. Just heard the dreaded footsteps of the window cleaner coming up his ladder

Now hiding completely under the covers hoping he thinks this big lump is a pillow or...well anything other than "look at that lazy cow"

They always come when the house is a tip too! Need to invent window cleaner appointment system!

Close the curtains?

Can't. Now committed to lying motionless under covers

Flash your bum and make him fall off...
Job done.
Or not - as he won't be able to do your windows!!

If I leap up now I might startle him and he'll fall off his ladder

Not at all unreasonable!

Mine always text me the day before (although I do have to unlock the side gate)

I'm currently hiding in different rooms from where the window cleaner is cleaning with a bowl of porridge and hoping he doesn't wake the baby!

It's a big window. He's still at it

Luckily mine uses the long brush/extendable pole system so I don’t have to worry about this

Why are you telling us when you could tell him?

He may be a man of many talents.
Taking his time, full use of his attachments.....

Me too! I never have cash in the house and have to move my car off the driveway so I have to drive to the cash point whenever he despises to turn up 😂

Ours phones to tell us he’s coming Last time we forgot - he phoned on a Friday today he’d be round on the Monday morning - and we were in bed having sex. Fortunately the curtains were closed.

Yes! A neighbour told me about how the window cleaner needs to text them to temporarily disable their alarm system as the vibrations set it off otherwise. I'm now seriously considering lying to mine that I have the same system in!

Just fake blow your nose every so often and pretend to be ill

He's gone thank god

Had a long chat with his mate in the garden then knocked on the door for his money. I kept the act up, will pay him online

I nearly started a thread about this myself. Totally agree with the “dreaded sound of the footsteps coming up his ladder”

I too run from room to room (or in the hall which has no windows) trying to hide. I realise I’m bonkers but he is a bit of a twat so I don’t want to have to talk to him! Ive actually wanted to fire him for years but I don’t have the -guts- heart!

I asked mine to come later on.. was a fairly simple “the baby sleeps to 9ish” could you not come round till near 10 if possible? He doesn’t realise the baby is up at half 7 and the giant 28year old baby sleeps on the couch till 9ish while the small one plays after his breakfast .

So far so good, but he covers loads of houses in our area so it’s not like he’s twiddling his thumbs waiting on me.

Still always manages to come when I’m in the bloody shower/loo though.. I may need to surrender my nap

Suppose I could invent a baby

Just noticed my bra on the floor at the window side of the bed. Christ

Ask him to text you first before coming round. Mine does this now, ever since I accidentally flashed him. I was naked from waist down and what's even worse, bending down to put clothes in the washing machine, only to look up and see his face gawking at my nethers.

I'm currently hiding in different rooms from where the window cleaner is cleaning with a bowl of porridge and hoping he doesn't wake the baby!

I have a vision of porridge covered windows

Isn't it law they now have to use a long reach brush? That's what they all use around here. The chap that lived a couple of doors from us owned a window cleaning business a few years ago and said it became law.

I don't know if that's true, but I've never seen any up a ladder for years.

Nah he's full of crap. They're all on ladders apart from one round here.

Told my window cleaner that I'd had a quote for £30 and wasn't paying that. He said "ahhh, was that the wanker with the long brush"

"the window cleaner is cleaning with a bowl of porridge" What a silly window cleaner! He's doing it wrong.

He said "ahhh, was that the wanker with the long brush" 

Love it!!! I did wonder if he was talking crap. Everything else that came out of his mouth was.

I heard the window cleaner as I was getting dressed. Not a problem, I thought, because he uses a pressurised long brush... except it had developed a fault so he was standing on the ladder, brush in hand. I haven't moved so quickly in years.