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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think you don't enter people's gardens

73 replies

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 12:37

To try and stroke their cat?!

I've just seen a woman and child walking down my drive on the CCTV, assuming as they were right in the middle of my garden and walking towards the door they must want something.

I go out to ask if they were okay to a mum who tells me they wanted to stroke my cat, who was sat near the pots (nowhere near them!)

My cat is not a sociable cat.

I know for a fact she would never have approached them and would have been keeping well away so they have deliberately gone to try and approach her.

She isn't vicious but she doesn't like strangers, she doesn't even particularly like stroking much from her own family.

I'm not BU in thinking you just don't this surely?
Or am I?

Really feeling quite irritated about it.

OP posts:

RubyRed24 · 16/12/2019 12:39

How old was the child? Did she walk out to your garden to see your cat and her mum followed to get her?

Original poster

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 12:40

Child, maybe 2 or 3 and no, the mum was holding her hand and they were walking down together.

OP posts:

RhymingRabbit3 · 16/12/2019 12:40

Front garden, a bit odd but I wouldnt be shocked or annoyed. Back garden, definitely strange.

Original poster

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 12:41

I could see them walking together towards the front door (hence why I went out to see what they wanted), the pots are by my door and cat was sat there keeping away from them.

OP posts:

Dreamersandwishers · 16/12/2019 12:42

Rude and irresponsible. Cat could have scratched the child ...I would probably have been rude to the mum 😆

AryaStarkWolf · 16/12/2019 12:42

I'd be annoyed and people coming into my garden yeah

Idratherbeonquora · 16/12/2019 12:46

It depends on the child. One of mine would not moved and would have had a tantrum if we passed even a snail or a worm without saying hello and giving the little creature a 'chance to be friends incase they are lonely'. This carried on until they were at least 4 and it was just easier to let the cat have a stroke or watch it run away. I know its not the best but i bet the mother wouldnt have heard the end of it. Thats the only reason i can think of someone going into the garden to pet the cat. Maybe?
Im sure lots of parents have had to do wierd things to keep the peace with little ones.

Clangus00 · 16/12/2019 12:46

That would bug me. Fences, hedges & gates are there for a reason.

AhoyMrBeaver · 16/12/2019 12:47

It is a strange thing to do, but no harm done at all. It would have perhaps been even stranger if they'd brought you to the door to ask if they could stroke the cat though.

Original poster

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 12:48

I wasn't rude to her but i was shocked and annoyed which she may well have picked up on as im one of those people whose facial expression tends to give away what I'm feeling straightaway, I did tell her the cat is not friendly and not to try and touch her.

The thing is, if she was the sort of confident, happy go lucky cat that loved people i really wouldn't have minded too much but she isn't.

She is shy and would have deliberately stayed well away so they obviously saw her (far away in her own garden) and deliberately followed her.

That is what I'm cross about I think.

She isn't a bloody toy!

OP posts:

Honeybee85 · 16/12/2019 12:51

YANBU

It’s private property, unless you need to deliver a package or ring the doorbell for another reason, you don’t go wandering into other people’s garden, not even for an innocent reason as to stroke a cat. Bad example to the child also.

Plus very irresponsable as many cats do not like to be touched by strangers. Ours would have gotten scared probably and lashed out to the woman (not the child, she accepts certain behavior from children that she wouldn’t if it were done by an adult).

Oceanbliss · 16/12/2019 12:54

Yanbu. The mother was being shamelessly intrusive. It's your private property. It's ok to enter someone's property to knock on the door to speak with the occupants or get a ball etc that accidentally went over the fence or rescue an injured animal or return something that belongs to the occupants. But it's not ok to enter someone's property just because it would be nice to pat the occupants cat.

BlackCatSleeping · 16/12/2019 13:02

My neighbor always comes into my front garden to stroke my cat. I don't personally think it's a big deal.

mbosnz · 16/12/2019 13:08

YANBU. Unless you have a legitimate purpose, you stay off other people's property. You teach your children to do the same thing. (I didn't care if my child had a tanty when learning this lesson, and I don't care if yours does either). Wishing to pat a random stranger's cat that is just enjoying its own front garden in peace, is not a legitimate purpose.

MrsClausTechnicolouredTeapot · 16/12/2019 13:09

YANBU. I once had a neighbour (that I'd never met) open my back gate and walk through my back garden to the back door and knock on it as "it was easier than walking around the front". I wasn't happy as I was in the middle of an argument with DP which she witness through the glass backdoor and was completely taken off guard and put on the spot by a stranger in my back garden. I think it's unacceptable to enter someone's garden even if it's the front, unless you are going to knock on the front door or deliver a parcel .

PuppyMonkey · 16/12/2019 13:13

But... but... there’s a cat. Got to try and stroke it. Can’t be helped imho.

Gertrudesgarden · 16/12/2019 13:14

If the cat wanted to speak to them, she'd have wandered over with her tail up. I don't think this woman had much experience of cats! And no, you're not unreasonable to be cross at people wandering into your garden uninvited. It's bloody rude and they'd not like it done to them.

Rinoachicken · 16/12/2019 13:14

I don’t have a front garden, my house is directly onto the street with a small concrete area between my house and the pavement that my bins are on. For context the bins are under my kitchen window.

One day my cat was sat on top of the wheelie bin as usual and two guys step over off the pavement onto my property to stroke him, I was stood at my kitchen sink at the time so literally on the other side of the window to them and was a bit but then one of them gets out his phone and starts taking fucking photos of my cat! (And presumably me and my kitchen!) I drew the line and opened the window and said ‘can I help you?’ And they slunk off.

Rinoachicken · 16/12/2019 13:14

He’s not even a ‘pretty’ or unusual cat, just a black moggy!!!

SerenDippitty · 16/12/2019 13:15

YANBU. Different if the cat was sitting on your wall next to the pavement, I often stroke them then.

PuppyMonkey · 16/12/2019 13:18

Well if you’re going to allow your cat to sit in an adorable manner on a wheelie bin right next to a public thoroughfare, what do you expect to happen Rino?

Pfefferkuchen · 16/12/2019 13:18

She isn't a bloody toy!

true, but she is not a baby either: she can run away from them if she is not happy. Cats are very good to keep their privacy. So YABU a bit.

Rinoachicken · 16/12/2019 13:29

@PuppyMonkey

He gives you the ‘come on’ as well, rolling on his back, purring like a lawn mower. He even loves the vet!!

I don’t mind kids, and to be honest wasn’t so fussed at the two blokes just stroking him (though it did feel bloody weird having them stood right in front of me and not acknowledging me in my own house!) it was the photos that did it for me!

WhoWants2Know · 16/12/2019 13:30

But... but... there’s a cat. Got to try and stroke it. Can’t be helped imho.

Crazy cat people are subject to a gravity-like force, drawing them ever nearer to the feline kind.

MulticolourTinselOnTheTree · 16/12/2019 13:36

Crazy cat people are subject to a gravity-like force, drawing them ever nearer to the feline kind.

You can also get crazy people cats, who loooove going near those who don't like cats. My ex hated cats, and thay always made a beeline for him, rubbing up his leg. I enjoyed watching him as he stalked away

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