Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

To think you don't enter people's gardens

73 replies

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 12:37

To try and stroke their cat?!

I've just seen a woman and child walking down my drive on the CCTV, assuming as they were right in the middle of my garden and walking towards the door they must want something.

I go out to ask if they were okay to a mum who tells me they wanted to stroke my cat, who was sat near the pots (nowhere near them!)

My cat is not a sociable cat.

I know for a fact she would never have approached them and would have been keeping well away so they have deliberately gone to try and approach her.

She isn't vicious but she doesn't like strangers, she doesn't even particularly like stroking much from her own family.

I'm not BU in thinking you just don't this surely?
Or am I?

Really feeling quite irritated about it.

OP posts:

BillHadersNewWife · 16/12/2019 13:37

YANBU! I have it too....our driveway is open...we're in Oz and nobody in this area is allowed front fencing...but it's obviously private and you have to walk past the entire side of my house to walk down my drive...then there's a big gate which keeps the back garden private. Well my very large dog hangs out by this gate and the amount of people who think it's ok to enter my drive and either stand on it staring at my dog or approach him is weird!

It's OBVIOUSLY private. The dog goes nuts...he's a guardian breed...and they stand there looking!

I've had to go out multiple times to tell them to move along.

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 16/12/2019 13:39

It wouldn't bother me. My cat never goes out the front but I really wouldn't mind someone with a child going to stroke him if he was there. I love cats myself and always stop to talk to and stroke cats

ISmellBabies · 16/12/2019 13:40

I voted Yanbu because you don't go into someone's garden, however you are being a really miserable git about it. It was toddler and they really wanted to stroke the cat. Who fucking cares, get over it.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 16/12/2019 13:45

Pretty weird.

Ages ago my mums next door neighbour used to buy dog treats for the family dog and come around to give them to the dog. Not odd in itself but we didnt get on with them, she said more words to the dog than us.

fuzzymoon · 16/12/2019 13:45

How lovely a mum and toddler walking together, talking and showing an interest in the world around them.

Yes ok I wouldn't walk on someone's property but it's not the end of the world and actually quite sweet.

I bet you don't mind your cat walking in other peoples front and back gardens and probably pooping in them.

Does it matter at the end of the day.

Original poster

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 13:59

How lovely a mum and toddler walking together, talking and showing an interest in the world around them

My cat is a living breathing creature. She isn't there to entertain other people's children. She is shy, she doesn't like strangers, she doesn't like petting. She was in her own front garden. Not at the edge near the pavement either, right deep in the garden near my front door. Hiding from the mum and child no doubt.

I bet you don't mind your cat walking in other peoples front and back gardens and probably pooping in them

My area is heaving with cats, literally almost everyone has one.
My cat is a homebody, rarely strays far from my front and back garden and regularly uses my gardens to toilet, as do most of her mates!

Does it matter at the end of the day

It does to me yes.
I'm really annoyed.

OP posts:

ADogInTheManger · 16/12/2019 14:00

How lovely a mum and toddler walking together, talking and showing an interest in the world around them.

They can show an interest in the world around them without entering other people's gardens.

Tinkobell · 16/12/2019 14:00

Honestly i think you're getting a bit hot under the collar over nothing. Clearly this Mum and kid pose no threat to your property. The cats free to roam and they theoretically could have tried to stroke it anywhere couldn't they? Cats generally leg it from unwanted contact anyhow. Obviously most people know that they touch pets or animals at their own risk. If the cat spits or lashes out, then lesson learnt all round.
If you really dislike what sounds to me like an innocent, sweet snapshot of everyday life in a happy neighbourhood then lock your cat inside and stick up electric gates; sounds like a nice a place for kids to grow up in doesn't it?

Arrivederci · 16/12/2019 14:02

My auntie was once on a bus that passed her house, and saw from the bus a woman in her garden picking herself a nice bouquet of flowers!

ADogInTheManger · 16/12/2019 14:03

sounds like a nice a place for kids to grow up in doesn't it?

Your average street where people generally try to respect each other's property and privacy? Yes. Yes it does sound rather nice.

Tinkobell · 16/12/2019 14:05

Stick a sign up in your front "Private property, keep out! beware of unsociable cat.....enter at your own risk" 🙄

mbosnz · 16/12/2019 14:06

A sweet innocent snapshot of everyday life would be Mum gently restraining toddler from going onto somebody else's property without permission to annoy somebody else's cat without permission, instead lifting them up to wave and smile at the cat, before moving on. Thereby teaching respect for other people's property and their privacy, and also for other people's animals, which shouldn't be approached without invitation.

Lulualla · 16/12/2019 14:08

People are strange. I found a mum and her child in my back garden in my old house playing on my kids' outside toys.
Really odd one.

mbosnz · 16/12/2019 14:09

I've lost count of how many times I've had people let themselves or their kids into my front garden to have a bounce on the trampoline. . .

Drum2018 · 16/12/2019 14:13

I'd have ran them. What did you say?

wellthatwasthat · 16/12/2019 14:15

Some parents just need to learn how to say 'No' to their children. Otherwise they will end up with spoilt entitled brats who think they can do whatever they like.

Billben · 16/12/2019 14:21

Bingo 👍

Original poster

frostedviolets · 16/12/2019 14:25

I'd have ran them. What did you say?

I asked if they were okay, what they wanted as they were more than halfway down into my garden and heading to my front door so I assumed they needed something.

Then I just said the cat is mine and she isn't friendly, don't try and touch her again.

I just don't see on what planet this was acceptable behaviour 🤷‍♀️

It would be different if she had been sat near the pavement or if she had gone up to them in the past wanting stroking (there is no chance of this, she rarely wants affection from us, let alone strangers!)

She was right in my garden and they deliberately walked more than halfway into my garden to try and stroke her.
Given that she was sat by pots near my front door and they were walking that way I can only assume they were intending to go right up to my door to try and pet her.

Why would you do that?

She clearly doesn't want to interact with you and if she had then bitten or scratched the little girl what then?

Leave my cat alone!

OP posts:

BigChocFrenzy · 16/12/2019 14:27

The woman was cheeky

If a cat wants to be stroked, it comes out and gives orders

Otherwise, strangers and house servants should all keep a respectful distance

Stayingstrong24 · 16/12/2019 14:30

It wouldn't worry me personally if I saw a mum and child in my front garden saying Hello to my cat.
My cat is friendly though and loves a fuss, and I understand that some cats/ owners are not so friendly and don't like a fuss.
In grand scheme of things it's not something I would be wasting time or energy getting annoyed about.
It's not something I would have done personally with my own children when they were small (I always taught them not to go on other people's properties), but everyone has different boundaries.
I would have just let them be.

Straycatstrut · 16/12/2019 14:42

You just don't approach other peoples pets like that with kids. For all the mum knew the cat could be aggressive. My first cat we had from a kitten (he was fatally hit by a speeding car just after he turned 1) and was extremely aggressive and would launch at you, sink his claws into you and then his teeth. My ex was asked at work if he needed help for self-harm, his arms were scratched to bits.

Unknown dogs and cats - you teach your kids to be cautious around them, always!

I also wouldn't ever take my kids into a strangers garden, unless a ball had gone over/we needed help.

Hepsibar · 16/12/2019 14:45

Very odd behaviour by the mother.

mbosnz · 16/12/2019 14:48

If they'd approached my cat they'd be needing a doctor's appointment. She hated everyone except her family with an absolute passion, and was not backwards in coming forwards about it. She taught a couple of kids (who had been warned and the cat had been shut away so as not to be endangering them, but they ignored that and went after her) a very permanent lesson about not annoying animals.

Picklypickles · 16/12/2019 14:50

I mean it can be hard to resist a kitty, if its there, nearby.... but its not on at all to go into someones garden and quite silly really, plenty of cats are shy/nervous/demented little fuckers! Very irresponsible to teach a toddler its ok to approach a strange animal.

DontCallMeShitley · 16/12/2019 14:52

One morning I heard voices at my front door. I opened it to find out what was going on and found a woman with a toddler peering at the wet ground. They had entered the closed gate (had a self closing thing on and it clicked shut so the latch had to be lifted to open it) and walked up the path. I wondered what on earth they were doing and as I looked down the woman explained that they were looking at the wet stones shining in the paving, and how little ones saw things differently.

T|his followed on from another mother allowing her child to rip the flowers out of my border, not even picking them, just pulling at them and tearing the heads off. Instead of saying 'Don't pick the flowers they belong to someone' the woman said 'Don't pick the flowers, it's the Sabbath'. So, it's OK to teach them to steal as long as it's not on a work free day.

Flip

1 2 3