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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Miffed we weren't invited to work Xmas do.

144 replies

YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 10/12/2019 08:54

So myself and another lady work PT self-employed for a large local firm. Regardless of being PT we have a role integral to the business and have probably saved them thousands of pounds in payouts due to complaints by taking preemptive/preventative measures. We also go over and above in the busy summer period, grafting our backsides off doing physical jobs that aren't in our remit to pick up the slack when other staff members are off on hols. We do this happily, without complaint because we know how screwed they'd be if we didn't.

Aaanyhoo, it became apparent last week that myself and other lady hadn't been invited to their Xmas do. No explanation, it wasn't even acknowledged at any point. All the FT employed staff went out to a party night at a hotel on an evening that myself and the other lady were in the office, so it's not like it happened on a day we weren't in. We all get on really well, there's no historical beef or anything, it's just totally unexplained and other than the fact we are PT and self employed I can't see any reason why we'd be excluded. AIBU to feel really miffed and to feel as though after the work we've put in this year it's a shitty way to treat people?
I made a jokey comment about us not being invited and everyone else in the office was really surprised that we weren't, so this is down to one of two managers or whoever organised it. I'm really pissed off about it and feel like I would rather work for someone who at least acknowledges our hard work and considers us part of the team. Am I overreacting?

OP posts:
CMOTDibbler · 10/12/2019 08:57

Fair or not, I know that our company events where its paid for by work are only for those who are directly employed by the company, so its not uncommon

Ohyesiam · 10/12/2019 08:59

Yanbu. What did the boss say when you brought it up?

MzHz · 10/12/2019 09:01

Well I’m guessing that you won’t be so keen to go above and beyond in the summer then eh?

Do the job you are paid for. Nothing more. Or bill the additional fees - and arrange your own Christmas do :)

You may be self employed but you’re part of the team when they need someone to help...

MuchBetterNow · 10/12/2019 09:01

But you're self employed. You could technically be working for numerous companies, would you expect to be invited to all their company paid nights out? Sorry but I don't think they did anything wrong. And you banging on about how hard you work "for them" is disingenuous, you work for yourself.

ShippingNews · 10/12/2019 09:02

I'd guess it's because of your self-employed status. The organiser may have asked the HR for a list of all employees so they could do the invitation list. If you're self employed you wouldn't be on the list. Just a thought.

RhymingRabbit3 · 10/12/2019 09:02

Are you sure you were actively not invited or did they all assume someobe else had done it?
For example if the invites were handed out at a staff meeting, they didnt think about the fact you werent there that day.
Still annoying but less hurtful than deliberately excluding you.

Marylou2 · 10/12/2019 09:03

I think there's a specific HMRC allowance for tax deductible payments for a Christmas party. Perhaps whoever organised it was working within these guidelines. They only apply to company employees.

KL06 · 10/12/2019 09:03

If you are self employed, by going to a Christmas party (amongst other things) implies you are a employee of the company as they would be paying. We have self employed contractors at our work, and may get into trouble with Hmrc if they are invited. It could seem that it is disguised employment by hmrc in order to not pay sick/holiday/employee benefits. I agree it’s not nice to not be invited and they should have explained to you their reasons.

Original poster
YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 10/12/2019 09:04

Neither bosses were there at the time and I've not seen either of them since due to hols. I'd said to the other self-employed lady that we'd have to organise our own Xmas do as we'd not been invited to theirs. The other office girls had said they were shocked we weren't invited and that the people who did our role historically (under different management) used to go to the work do's. So even if they'd said you can come but you need to pay for yourselves that would have been fine, or even come down later on for a drink. But nope, nothing. ..

OP posts:
Loopytiles · 10/12/2019 09:06

How many hours a week do you both work there?

Are you genuinely self employed, or is it a “false self employment” set up?

Figgygal · 10/12/2019 09:06

I think it definitely comes down to the fact that you're self-employed at my place we would still allow contractors to come but they would have to pay for their seat

Good for you going over and above but they have just reminded you that they don't consider you the same as an employee so I would definitely rethink my level of effort and commitment over and above what I am paid for in future

It is shit though I'm not surprised you're annoyed or upset about it

Hingeandbracket · 10/12/2019 09:06

YABU I am self employed and glad to be excluded. You aren’t really self employed if you expect to be treated like an employee

custardbear · 10/12/2019 09:06

Ba humbug - what a shitty thing to do! However if you like the job
Don't leave over this and this arse of a manager though

MrsMaiselsMuff · 10/12/2019 09:08

Why are you self employed? What kind of work do you do?

OlaEliza · 10/12/2019 09:10

It's not about being treated as an employee, it's about being treated as part of the team.

Certainly don't do anything that isn't in your remit anymore op. Work to rule.

Original poster
YouAreTheEggManIAmTheWalrus · 10/12/2019 09:10

@MuchBetterNow I do the role I was taken on to do for myself. Anything else over and above that, I'm doing for them because I can see how stuck they are. I didn't think I was "banging on" about it really, but appreciate your input.

I didn't realise there were HMRC regs around this, thanks for pointing that out, could well be the explanation.

@RhymingRabbit3 it's also possible yes.

OP posts:
Itsallpointless · 10/12/2019 09:11

We have self employed contractors at our work, and may get into trouble with Hmrc if they are invited

So everyone gives the taxman a list of Christmas party attendeesShockwhat a load of cobblersHmm

I'd be pissed off too OP, but I think it's an oversight more than anything else, however, I still be pissed that I was an oversight!

Makes you feel crap and undervalued, whether you're self employed is irrelevant. You are otherwise an integral part of the team, and should have been offered the choice.

Insideimsprinting · 10/12/2019 09:11

That's self employment for you. I have been for 10 years and that's one thing that never stops bothering me, you put loads of effort in, you go above and beyond even. You can't take your foot off the throttle as you can't guarantee a steady income but all that effort is just brushed off, taken food granted, more expected etc.
It's a thankless environment especially since you don't even have employment rights etc.
Christ my post sounds doom and gloom but unfortunately it won't change. I'll be going back into employment soon with much less responsibility and will propably me acknowledge much more for much less.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 10/12/2019 09:12

It has nothing to do with you being part-time, it's all about you not being an employee.

They have handled it badly, but don't take it personally, it really isn't.

simplekindoflife · 10/12/2019 09:12

When I was self-employed and worked at places over Christmas, I was always invited along too. Sounds like you're very involved and dedicated in the workplace, so it seems very odd to exclude you both.

I think this must be an oversight. They were looking at the staff lists and just didn't think. Not nice though and not the done thing in most companies - you include all of your employees, full time, part time, employed or self-employed.

I'd be thinking twice about putting in the extra work from now on!

Hoppinggreen · 10/12/2019 09:12

Are you self employed or employed?
If you want the freedom of the first one you can’t get the perks of the second
I suspect that you could be classed as employed and as changes are coming in to put the onus (and penalties) on the end client they are probably getting a bit worried and trying to enforce some of the CEST criteria.
Me and DH are Contractors and I know the market pretty well. Most end clients are either trying to issue new contracts to put people inside IR35 or ones that are designed to prove the self employed status ( rules of substation etc)

mrscampbellblackagain · 10/12/2019 09:14

We wouldn't have invited contractors to an employee Christmas party either. However, they could come provided they paid for their own food.

And that was because of IR35 as mentioned above - nothing to do with being a team just following the law around employees and contractors.

andpancakesforbreakfast · 10/12/2019 09:15

So everyone gives the taxman a list of Christmas party attendee what a load of cobblers

some posters clearly do not have the slightest clue how things work, do they. You do realise that it's also for your own benefit when companies do things by the book? And to protect themselves to.

No one cares if you like it or not, there are rules for a reason.

mrscampbellblackagain · 10/12/2019 09:16

Exactly andpancakesforbreakfast!