Spider season

[TheGirlWithGlassFeet]

So it's begun. Just had a massive one run across the floor. Phoned 'D'H who was asleep upstairs to come and get it but he refused. Bastard. Luckily cat is in so she is currently staking out the sofa it ran under.

AIBU to ask for best methods to get rid of them? I had one of the plug ins but that didn't work. Also tried the spray but no luck there either. I've got a cordless Dyson so that might do the job but I don't want to get that close.

Spiders do not bother me personally but my sister hates them and she always gets conkers from the horse chestnut tree and puts them in the corners of rooms apparently it keeps them away.

Absolute huge cunt scuttled across the living room earlier. I threw the cat in the room and closed the door. He'd better have eaten it.

Following because I hate the fuckers. Except this one...

I dread this time of year. Normally doesn't seem to hit its peak until end of september here though. Luckily I'm moving from the countryside into central London next week

I wouldn't mind trapdoor spider. Maybe.

I did think conkers but I've got a crawling baby who likes to eat everything. Actually maybe that's the solution? Leave them in a room together and hope the baby wins.

Poor beasties.
Leave them alone. They’ll hunker down and survive over winter. They are our best defence against the flies.

I’ve given up. I live directly behind 5 miles of freshly plowed fields 😭 and they are literally running into my house in their dozens!

I have heard the conker thing and am going to source some this week, came across two the other day, first one wasnt that bad but the second one was massive. Even the cat wouldn't go near it.

I’m the same absolutely hate them infact let me rephrase that terrified of them. We get really big ones where I am, actually last year, next door we’re getting their garden decking lifted and the workmen commented on how big they were.

I’ve been spraying peppermint oil mixed in water around my doors and windows, as I’ve heard that helps

CONKERS. Alllllllll along the windowsills. Everywhere. Live in a conker.

Shall we all take bets on how long it takes for someone who doesn't have a fucking clue what a phobia is to come along and tell us that we're all just being silly because spiders can't hurt us?

What particularly annoys me about this time of year isn't just that I get giant house spiders in my house, but also that other people seem to love taking pictures of the bastards in their houses and shoving them all over Facebook and Twitter. I've muted the word 'spider' on Twitter but I've already seen a picture on Facebook today that will probably make me have nightmares.

What's weird is that I'm not even scared of all spiders. It's literally just those big house spiders. I'm OK with other types and I actively like all other creepy-crawlies - I'm always thrilled to see a beetle or a great big moth or something, and I've left the wasps alone that are currently nesting in our airbrick. But that one specific type of spider properly, properly terrifies me in a really visceral, disturbing way. Phobias are such weird things.

Glad I'm not alone but it's making me think about how many thousands/millions of the buggars there are. Eugh shouldn't have started this thread at bed time!

"Live in a Conker" hahahahaha

Yeah I'm now scanning my room since opening this thread. Conker hunting with DD tomorrow now

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BURN THE HOUSE DOWN

Then cover with concrete.

Then move to space. Cuz im sure those cunts wont ever find a way of making a spidey suit to breathe in space to terrorize us there.

Don't google "how long do spiders live for"

We live on the edge of a farm and have had five so far. I hate this time of year. Apparently the weather has made them come out earlier. Let’s hope they bugger off earlier as well. Sick of getting out of bed and having to put shoes on. We are in the throws of moving all clutter off the floor and hoovering webs the second we see them. Doesn’t work but makes me feel like I’m doing something. Roll on October

I had a customer in The Range who bought a spray which she swore by. Can’t remember the name though.

Conkers in the corners of rooms!

I'm not too scared of spiders now I have a dog who likes to chew on them. Some big bastards in Bulgaria, wolf spiders don't google
The thing that's amazed me though about the 8 legged freaks is that most house spiders are the descendants of the 1st spider in your house. So Boris who lives behind my fire place is the 72nd spider if you get me

Apparently they hate peppermint and/or vinegar. I've been spraying my front and back doors with vinegar and my windows with peppermint since the spiders came and it's working! Or at least they're good at hiding...

Conkers have never worked for me but hopefully you'll all have better luck I picked up a pile of washing to put in the machine last week and a huge one jumped out from the clothes, it was awful!!

Nooo! I've not had any yet but also wasn't expecting any til Sept?!
My cat just plays with them or ignores.
I really don't mind bugs and leave those huge spindley ones alone but I cannot stand the scampering big buggers.

Time.

They are male house spiders, they are looking for female house spiders.

They will run themselves into exhaustion, looking for a woman who will use them, then kill them, or maybe just kill them on sight.

They will not eat, or drink, they will face mortal danger at every turn, they will become dehydrated to the point their asses shrivel and their legs barely function... all to find that one lady who even if she accepts them, will most likely kill them.

If you keep evicting them, you will just keep seeing more, as they also fight each other to the death for their lady love... pointlessly it turns out as she doesn't care.

Instead, reward yourself with some chocolate each time you see one, and eat that chocolate whilst thanking your lucky stars that you are not a male house spider, doomed to strive and die in the sexless, loveless pursuit of a woman who will simply take his sperm and murder him in thanks.

Trust me, Mr Spider has got way bigger problems than you do.