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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it's definitely not a joke?

46 replies

Inde95 · 19/07/2019 19:40

So, for context, DD's dad and I split. He comes to see her a few times a week. I have posted about the situation before.

Today he came to see her. He was holding her hands to support her walking. I bend down to talk to her and her dad has taken her hand and hit me in the face with it saying "Hit mummy. We don't like women" I told him in no uncertain terms that it was not ok and he's not to use our child to project his feelings about me.

His response was "It was a joke. You're overreacting".

Please advise as to whether it would BU to have another conversation about how this is not a joke and certainly not ok?

OP posts:
TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 19/07/2019 19:45

He's a dick. Arrange supervised contact with someone else supervising so you don't have to be near him.

BendydickCuminsnatch · 19/07/2019 19:45

What. The hell????? That made me gasp out loud. He does realise his daughter will grow into a woman, right? Appalling!

user1498572889 · 19/07/2019 19:47

He is a twat. You were right about why he was doing it. Supervised contact only. No wonder he is your ex.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 19/07/2019 19:48

I have no words. Joke my arse, there should be a picture of this idiot in the dictionary under gaslighting.

Soubriquet · 19/07/2019 19:49

Hell no that is not a joke

nauseous5000 · 19/07/2019 19:49

Awful BUT if this first time he's done this I'd be inclined to write it off as childish and not thought out, but if anything like that happens again don't hesitate to have a proper discussion and look into other ways of facilitating access

DuesToTheDirt · 19/07/2019 19:50

WTF? Conversation about this would be pointless, unless he's thick as pigshit he already knows it's not a joke.

cushioncovers · 19/07/2019 19:52

No it's not a joke, he was being a spiteful prick.

Inde95 · 19/07/2019 19:55

@nauseous5000 He's made remarks about hitting me before but I had let them slide to avoid confrontation. However, it's the first time he's actually been physical with DD if that makes sense

OP posts:
Inde95 · 19/07/2019 19:58

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2 Loved your response Grin

OP posts:
CatInADoghouse · 19/07/2019 19:59

OMFG! What an absolute prick!! Thank goodness you're not with him anymore!
Definitely supervised visits! He can't be trusted unsupervised. I wouldn't accept this sort of crap from him.

Sadie789 · 19/07/2019 20:00

He sounds pathetic.

thetimekeeper · 19/07/2019 20:04

His response was "It was a joke. You're overreacting".

Ah, the mantra of the abusive man.

Check out the Freedom Programme, it might help you get a better handle on how to deal with him. Www.freedomprogramme.co.uk

foreverhanging · 19/07/2019 20:11

Fucking ridiculous behaviour using your dd as his bloody tool. What a nasty little arsehole he is.

4under4our · 19/07/2019 20:11

What a vile human.

Sorryisntgoodenough · 19/07/2019 20:17

He's a dick. Arrange supervised contact with someone else supervising so you don't have to be near him

NOT ok. Do not let your child see him without supervision. You need to have this on record. Appalling behaviour, your DD is a very lucky girl that you are not with him so that she doesn’t grow up thinking his behaviour of women is normal.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/07/2019 20:19

No one is laughing so it's not a joke

GaraMedouar · 19/07/2019 20:21

That is absolutely ridiculous! Not a joke at all, and not ok in the slightest!

Inde95 · 19/07/2019 20:25

Thank you all for your replies. I don't have time to reply to them all but I appreciate the advice being given

OP posts:
Zaphodsotherhead · 19/07/2019 20:26

He does realise your daughter is female, doesn't he?

'We don't like women...'

There's no 'we' in dickhead.

greenwaterbottle · 19/07/2019 20:30

I think you need to think about the bigger picture.
Why do you let his visit in your house, he shouldn't cross the front door.
Does he have visitation set by the court, if not, make him take you to court.

Inde95 · 19/07/2019 20:33

To clarify, he has only ever had supervised visits due to MH issues which can make him go from one extreme to the other emotionally. The thought of him having DD alone terrifies me

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 19/07/2019 20:40

He is an arse and you are well rid. Defo supervised visits, if any...

Inde95 · 19/07/2019 20:40

@greenwaterbottle He is taking me to court. I gave him access this way to try avoid it

OP posts:
AcrossthePond55 · 19/07/2019 20:41

He would never cross my threshold again and would need to arrange his supervised visits at a different location. If you wanted to supervise (as it appears you are doing now in your own home) then it needs to be in a public place. Otherwise it'd be a contact centre with a paid supervisor, at his expense.

Do you have a court order regarding visits?

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