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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed that my MIL suggest I leave DS alone for the evening

32 replies

ChristmasPud · 27/07/2007 19:45

Scenario = going away to stay at B&B with parents in law. They want to go out for a meal. Suggested that as DS doesn't nromally wake up after being put to bed I could leave him on his own in B&B to go out and have meal.

I am and .

They have had 3 children. Do they have no clue?

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 27/07/2007 19:48

How old is your DS?
I think sometimes people of that generation forget what 'clue' they used to have.
I was recently when my very responsible and caring dad suggested it would be ok for me to have DS (3 weeks old at the time) on my knee in the car.
When I nearly fell off my chair in horror, he said 'Or we could put him in his carrycot and put the seatbelt round it'

Original poster
ChristmasPud · 27/07/2007 19:50

He is 6.5 months. Yes, they used to do the carry cot think. Fil told me all about it last time we visited.

Doubly annoying as they still treat DH as a child and irresponsible.

Quite apart from it being dangerous and illegal and everythign else...

OP posts:
Original poster
ChristmasPud · 27/07/2007 19:51

Oh and in our house we refer to baby sitting on lap in a car as 'doing a Britney!.

OP posts:
flowerybeanbag · 27/07/2007 19:57

6.5 months and they want to leave him on his own?
I was at my dad wanting to put the carrycot with the seatbelt round or 'do a britney' (lol) but they did used to do that back then, and I'm sure I was transported like that. Although I was still as not only illegal but also v dangerous and my dad is nuts about DS.
However leaving a 6mo alone while you go out for a meal, that's worse! Surely they didn't do that with your DH when he was that age...Did they? And they think your DH is irresponsible!
YAdefinitelyNBU

hoolagirl · 27/07/2007 19:59

Yip, thats what Maddies parents done and look what happened.

Apart from that worst case scenario, absolutely no way.

Original poster
ChristmasPud · 27/07/2007 20:01

And this after FIL doesn't think it's right that I'll be going back to work p/t In Dec.

I now realise this is possibly because he assumes I'll leave DS home alone.

sigh

Got to get it off my chest as having to spend the weekend with these crazy people.

Also got to be sneaky So Dh doesn't realise what I'm mumsnetting about.

OP posts:
paolosgirl · 27/07/2007 20:02

No - they have no clue. It's a generational thing, I think. My parents used to do this, as did DH's. They once went to a party on the other side of Beirut when FIL was posted there, and left dh and his sister alone. FIL popped back every 2 hrs to make sure they were OK

YANBU at all.

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:02

YANBU....
I certainly would not be doing it...., lol....I would not leave my children alone in a B&B now, and they are 11y, 4 1/2y and 3 y old...lol....no way....

To flower...not that I would do that...the Baby on the lap thing, etc....but I suppose back then that was certainly the norm and done like that....and I suppose if they had nothing else to do with it since...then I can kind of see why they would not know better, lol...iykwim

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:05

lol X-mas pud...and they have a problem you returning to work p/t...hm....I suppsoe everyone has different priorities...lol...I suppose to them it's o.k. to leave the child completely alone to have some fun....but dare you gte paid whilest leaving your child with someone else to look after it....makes sense...............ermmmmmmm not....
and Hoola was it necessary to bring Maddie into this and why write it in bold letters...thing we all are aware of what happened....

rufusmacdoofus · 27/07/2007 20:05

what is YANBU ( sorry )

Original poster
ChristmasPud · 27/07/2007 20:06

Have to go and grind my teeth while watching Gardeners World with Dh.

Wish me luck for the weekend.

They'll be sending the little one down the mine next...or up a chimney.

OP posts:
Leati · 27/07/2007 20:06

ChristmasPud,

Don't be annoyed with them, they are just giving advice. If I got mad everytime someone gave me bad advice, I would be one angry person. I am sure the love DS and if they knew how dangerous their suggestion was, they would have never suggested.

paolosgirl · 27/07/2007 20:06

You Are Not Being Unreasonable (YANBU)

or

You Are Being Unreasonable (YABU)

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:08

Rufuss
You Are Not Unreasonable

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:08

missed the Being

blinking bolding words is such an act, lol

flowerybeanbag · 27/07/2007 20:08

3andnomore yep guess it was the norm back then, and DS is first grandchild so parents haven't had anything to do with babies since, so I supposed it's not really that surprising. It was just as my dad is so responsible and sensible about everything I was just so . I think he thought I was being a bit weird and overprotective when I insisted quite sharply that DS doesn't go anywhere unless he's in his carseat!

lol at christmaspud leaving DS alone when going back to work!

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:10

flower, give him some reading material about it, he might jsut understand, especially as you say he is otherwise so responsible etc...

rufusmacdoofus · 27/07/2007 20:10

yes YANBU. people sometimes do not think or have forgotten how you need to think when you have children. Sadly, it is not uncommon. A good friend had her parents come and stay when she had given birth to their first grandchild. They offered to babysit whilst she had a nap. she woke up 20 minutes later - baby screaming - they had left her in the sitting room on her own and were drinking gin and tonics in the garden !

flowerybeanbag · 27/07/2007 20:14

ooh, good thinking 3andnomore, I will do that, he will be horrified, but needs to know.

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:17

do you need some webslinks, maybe flower...I got a few links that might be informative...alhtough, mostly it's about the period of the 0 stage carseats...however, it also highlights the importance of correct position in the car in general, and why, etc...

flowerybeanbag · 27/07/2007 20:49

that would be great 3andnomore, if you could post the links, thanks for that

3andnomore · 27/07/2007 20:53

Here the links...
sorry for kinda hi-jacking the thread, btw

on ivillage

cpsaftey site

car safety org

BandofMuggles · 27/07/2007 20:56

Have they been living in a cave since Maddy was snatched then???

Good grief.

tearinghairout · 27/07/2007 21:07

Can I jusyt ask - will there be someone in all evening at the B&B - the owner? If they are prepared to keep an eye on him??

Original poster
ChristmasPud · 27/07/2007 21:11

They do tend to live in their own rather limited world. As a friend put it when I was telling her about things that happened when they visited last year 'What colour is the sky in your world?'

This was when we were in a restaurent (in the evening because I did not have any children then) and the MIL asks 'Is this a building, or a space between two buildings.' I look up at the ceiling and then at the 4 walls holding it up and say 'Ummm, I think it's a building', whilst trying really hard not to sound sarcastic.

OP posts: