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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a bit miffed with that the couple coming to dinner on Sat are bringing most of the meal with them?

32 replies

MegaLegilimens · 18/07/2007 20:41

Sounds mad but I LOVE cooking. It's my thing. They think they are being helpful but he keeps phoning and leaving messages saying that she will make this and bring this and they'll get this and do this. They even offered to get some sausages to bbq when they know we keep pigs and have a freezer full!

I just want them to arrive, sit in the garden, drink wine and swoon at the delights I will offer them. If she wants to cook then invite us there FFS!

ANd relaaax!¬

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 18/07/2007 20:42

I wouldn't bother me at all!

I'd LOVE that!

lulumama · 18/07/2007 20:42

have you not just had a baby? maybe they think that this will help, when you will be busy with DCs??

have you told them you wish them to sit and swoon?

i would just let them get on with it, and enjoy sitting, drinking wine, myself!

beansontoast · 18/07/2007 20:43

have they been before?

WigWamBam · 18/07/2007 20:43

So TELL them that you want to cook it yourself. They think they are being helpful, they'd probably be mortified if they knew how offended you are!

jaynehater · 18/07/2007 20:48

Has someone lyingly told them you shop predominantly at farmfoods?

blahblahblahniks · 18/07/2007 20:48

They don't have secret food allergies do they? If not, just tell them. I just had a major party and loads of people called and said 'shall I bring......' and I just said: 'no, it's all sorted, thanks. But feel free to bring wine if there is a sort you particularly like'.

Original poster
MegaLegilimens · 18/07/2007 20:52

No new baby lulu (just a chick) ds4 is 2.

LOL I am so crap and so tired (and wine)I can'ty reply.

You are right - I should tell them it's all under control. I am a control freak and so is the bloke coming.

DH just said "Let them bring it all - then there is less to do."

I will give in - they can all have a tomatoe from the green house and lump it.

OP posts:
Original poster
MegaLegilimens · 18/07/2007 20:53

jh have googled farmfoods - is it a bit like iceland?

OP posts:
Sixofone · 18/07/2007 20:53

They obviously want to feel like they're helping! I can understand why you might be feeling a bit miffed - all the same though, they sound really sweet. I was brought up to believe that it was good manners to take something along with you when you were invited to dinner

blahblahblahniks · 18/07/2007 20:53

If they are going to do that - be sure to have them wash up afterwards as well .

Mercy · 18/07/2007 20:55

I think they mean well - many people do, and feel a bit guilty/inadequate re the hostess with the mostess thing.

So Saturday is it?

Walnutshell · 18/07/2007 20:56

Have they tasted your cooking before?

I jest

But really, have they been round before? Perhaps they don't know that cooking is your thing. Be firm and tell them you are looking forward to cooking and please just bring some wine and you won't hear of anything else!

lulumama · 18/07/2007 20:57

think i was confusing you with sexonlegs! sorry !!

let go of the control freakery for one night, twill be liberating, and you can get rotten drunk!

KerryMumbledore · 18/07/2007 20:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jaynehater · 18/07/2007 20:58

It's kind of like iceland....but scarier....

If in doubt, ask them to bring pudding. That always goes down a treat with my lot.

Desiderata · 18/07/2007 21:00

Aw ... I can understand your frustration. For what it's worth, they're probably being kind, but they're also being insensitive.

My dh does all the cooking in our house ... and he'd hate it!

Just ring them up and tell them NO. You're doing the cooking .. and that's that.

heifer · 18/07/2007 21:03

I understand Megalegilimens - I would be the same..

I have a really hard time saying to people - no honestly I will do all the food, but most people know me by now and just let me get on with it..

Agree it is a control thing and the wanting to impress probably comes into it as well..

Not worth offending good friends over, as everyone else says, they are probably just trying ot help..

Out of interest though - has anyone ever had food poisioning at your house before??....

LittleBellatrixLeBoot · 18/07/2007 21:05

God I'd love that

alicet · 18/07/2007 21:05

I can understand your frustration - I love cooking too. When people offer to bring food I am usually happy for them to bring desert (I don't have a very sweet tooth hence don't desperately enjoy making them!) or wine but tell them that I will be doing the rest.

they are only trying to help so its hard to get cross with them but just tell them its all in hand and you're looking forward to doing it but they are welcome to bring wine

Original poster
MegaLegilimens · 18/07/2007 21:06

Have just spoken to them. They are bringing some naan bread and dahl (sophie?). She is very good at curry so they always bring curry (Yes they have been before.)

Am just going to do salady stuff which will definately involve courgettes and toms (coming out of my ears)

OP posts:
Original poster
MegaLegilimens · 18/07/2007 21:06

I have never knowingly poisoned anyone

OP posts:
Original poster
MegaLegilimens · 18/07/2007 21:07

Am off to eat pasta - with courgette and tomatoe sauce.

OP posts:
jaynehater · 18/07/2007 21:08

I have brooded over this one, and I have to say this would constitute a grudge match for me. If they invite you back, I dare you to sit down and haul some Dairylea Lunchables out of your bag....but for goodness sake don't eat them, that would be going too far.

blahblahblahniks · 18/07/2007 21:09

Or instead of a handbag, carry your stuff in a Greggs bag.

jaynehater · 18/07/2007 21:11

GrinGrinGrin

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