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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Tattoo of ex

58 replies

Fatandfedup1 · 21/04/2019 15:53

Hi.
Do you think it's unreasonable for me to ask boyfriend to get the tattoo of his exes name removed or covered?
Our baby is due in 7 weeks and I think skin to skin is so important but I can't bear the idea of our new baby puzzling against his daddy's chest, with his face in her name and worse seeing it in photos.
She's caused us nothing but aggravation and this is a brand new start for us.
I don't think it's unreasonable. Do you? Thanks in advance

OP posts:
TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 21/04/2019 17:16

Can it be fixed as simply as changing "Winona forever" to "Wino forever"? Grin

I don't think YABU but it's his body and it's up to him what he wants to do, I guess. And to be fair, all the baby wants to do is snuggle with his dad; he doesn't care what it says on his chest.

ThatssomebadhatHarry · 21/04/2019 17:18

You could just get him to add ‘is a slut’ underneath?

OnlyYellowRoses · 21/04/2019 17:22

Love that response ThatssomebadhatHarry 😂😂

Just ask him nicely if he wouldn't mind either getting it covered or removed. I don't think YABU to ask but he's within his rights to turn you down too as it is a part of his body and history.

I've got an ex's name on my hip, we parted nicely so I've never bothered to cover it and none of my subsequent partners have ever been bothered by it as far as I know. 💁🏼‍♀️

CupcakeDrama · 21/04/2019 17:23

You could just get him to add ‘is a slut’ underneath? Grin

Order654 · 21/04/2019 17:24

Ask him to get it covered. I wouldn’t be happy about it.

NotReadyForThisX2 · 21/04/2019 17:25

My dad once told me "don't ever have sex with a man with another woman's name tattooed on him". I've tended to follow that advice as I hoped it would help me avoid men like my dad 😂. I know at least three ex's names he's had tattooed at one time or another and on more than one occasion his gf's at the time believed I was called my mums name because he'd said the tattoo was his daughters name.

It's bothering you so definitely tell him to get it covered up. If it's not done by time baby arrives stick a plaster over it.

Darkstar4855 · 21/04/2019 17:48

YANBU to be upset by it but does it really matter that much right now? Can’t you just make sure that it’s covered up by the baby in photos or just not take photos of him doing skin-to-skin? Or even just photoshop it out?

If he’s got the time and money to get it covered up then great but if not it seems silly to let it spoil what should be such a happy time.

HJWT · 21/04/2019 17:49

Tell him to get it covered xx

buckeejit · 21/04/2019 17:55

Is a slut! 😂 I'm dying!

Yanbu OP & congratulations 😁

Ellisandra · 21/04/2019 18:05

@Ginger1982 he wasn’t wearing it when we met. OLD - he thought it was “time” to take it off. We got chatting about it one day and I said it was fine by me if he wanted to wear it, so he did. When we got engaged, he said he’d change it. I suggested our ring have his first wedding date and wife’s name engraved inside. He said he wasn’t keen on that, and suggested moving the first ring to the other hand. Then we could never be bothered to look for rings, and realised we didn’t really care about having them... (I didn’t have one for my first marriage either) so his first one just stayed on.

BillywilliamV · 21/04/2019 18:09

God, some of you people are awful, she’s just asking about a tattoo ffs!

dudsville · 21/04/2019 18:10

I've never given this thought before, but i don't imagine i would stay with someone who had a tat of a previous flame. I expect tats to be meaningful or fun. My relationships have always got on well with their exes, but this to me would be akin too leaving a lovely pic of the two of them up in our lounge.

slipperywhensparticus · 21/04/2019 18:11

My ex has my name emblazoned across his back he wanted it on his chest I said no now he has mentioned getting it covered up to me I agreed it was the best for him he wanted a Phoenix I'm keeping out of this discussion 🤣

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 21/04/2019 18:16

Sounds like a shit tattoo even for a current girlfriend. I don’t think it’s hormones. If skin to skin photos are your thing, why not mention to him that you feel a bit funny about it.

pictish · 21/04/2019 18:21

This is why tattoos of partner’s names is such a bad idea. How many people have ended up with a tattoo that pays permanent homage to someone they’d gladly never see again?
It was on the list of tattoos to never ever get when I was discussing it with my late teens son, just in case he was thinking of getting one on a whim.

NotStayingIn · 21/04/2019 18:35

I really didn’t think anything could make a skin to skin photo worse! (Sorry to those who have them done - I get skin to skin contact is important but the photos are just so naff when they are shared. They make me cringe.)

Anyway, I was wrong: add a tattoo of the ex’s name into the equation and it’s worse.

YANBU for asking him to get rid.

heatwave2019 · 21/04/2019 18:43

@SimonJT a matching tattoo is a little different to somebody's actual name tattooed.

Ghanagirl · 21/04/2019 18:51

@Fatandfedup1
How long have you been together and have you brought this up before?

CakeNinja · 21/04/2019 18:59

Well you conceived the baby while he had the tattoo and that was really when you formed the ‘new start’!
All you can do is ask but really, he can cuddle the baby without you needing to take a photo of the tattoo, or if you need the photo, just put a blanket over the area if needs be.

PawPawNoodle · 21/04/2019 19:06

I'd have had more issue looking at it while conceiving the baby, if I'm honest.

Puddingmama2017 · 21/04/2019 19:11

I have my exes name on my back, keep meaning to get it covered but much as I think he’s a twat a lot of the time he gave me three beautiful children so I kinda think he’s earned his place there. Has he never mentioned wanting it gone?

SimonJT · 21/04/2019 19:48

@heatwave2019 it most definitely identifies who said ex is

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 21/04/2019 22:00

Is this a little bit more about social-media imagery than anything else? Hmm

pictish · 21/04/2019 22:05

And if it is?

EL8888 · 21/04/2019 22:09

PolPotNoodle Good point

I’d want rid of it