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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder what a BFP feels like?

59 replies

My2019Wish · 09/04/2019 17:15

Hi. TTC for a year now. Just want to hear some stories of the moment you got your bfp and how it felt. I can’t wait for that day myself but would love to hear others experiences while I wait.

I imagine it just feeling like everything clicking into place and finally getting rid of that heavy feeling in your heart?

OP posts:

Happyspud · 09/04/2019 17:22

Oh gosh OP, I’m not sure it’s always like that. My first one was like ‘ok. Right so. What do I do now’. And a wave of hugeness that everything would now change and actually though I’d chosen it, I now had no choice about all that came with it. A great big unknown. A bit overwhelming. Then I was sick a few days later and stayed deathly sick every day for months. So it’s not all romance! Sorry, not the response you were hoping for I’m sure but a truthful one.

Seeleyboo · 09/04/2019 17:26

I freaked out and my DH was stood by the bathroom door and said....Well my mum will be happy......we were in the process of selling our house and had a viewing at that time due. I left the test on the side of the bath.

VampirateQueen · 09/04/2019 17:27

For me it wasn't, I felt overwhelming love followed by overwhelming fear. I was lucky in that I fell pregnant very quickly when we TTC, but I hadn't wanted a baby for about 5 years before my DH agreed for us to TTC. I just suddenly thought 'sh#t I have to keep this little thing alive now, what do I do, can I actually do this'

shopaholic85 · 09/04/2019 17:39

I'm sorry OP. A year can feel like forever when you are TTC.

I'd had a MC 4 months before I got my BFP. We weren't actively trying that month, as I was away for most of it with work. I had my period as expected, but it disappeared the next day. I tested on a whim and it was a bit of a shock to see the BFP. I casually announced that I was pregnant to my DH, because I was too scared to get excited again. And I had severe sickness well into my second trimester, so only really started to enjoy it near the end, but by then I was quite overwhelmed by how much would change and being responsible for a tiny baby. I don't think I could have anticipated what it would feel like.

I hope you get yours soon.

cranstonmanor · 09/04/2019 17:42

Nope. Had years of fertility treatments. Had a couple of bfp's which ended in miscarriages, an ectopic and a tfmr. I tend to think "oh, don't feel pregnant at all" when I get a bfp. I feel more pregnant when I'm not than when I actually am, if you get my drift.

MarieMorgan · 09/04/2019 17:44

I got a bfp after 7 goes of ivf and a miscarriage. What I felt was absolutely terrified. I spent my whole pregnancy worried that something would go wrong. I didn't feel happy until my ds was born. Then just blissfully happy!

abcriskringle · 09/04/2019 17:54

Fingers crossed it happens for you soon OP!
When I got my bfp the first time I was delighted and excited and happy! The second time it had taken much longer to conceive and I'd since heard about so many of my friends miscarrying etc. that I was happy but also cautious. I also tested early so was on tenterhooks waiting to see if AF was going to show up after all. I'm 12 weeks now though and letting myself feel a bit more excited!

TheInventorofToasterStreudel · 09/04/2019 18:04

Relieved. Then paranoid I had it wrong and did another 2 tests. Then excited. Called DH upstairs - he thought he was in trouble. Then v v v happy

tisonlymeagain · 09/04/2019 18:07

I guess it depends on the circumstances. I had an unplanned one which was completely different to a planned but I still felt disbelief and fear, and I can't say I really believed it until I saw it on the scan. I am just starting TTC now with my new DP and I feel like if it happens I will bounce off the walls with happiness but until you're holding that stick in your hand, I don't think you know how you are going to react.

Fatted · 09/04/2019 18:09

OP I'm sorry about where you are right now. It took me nine months of TTC with my eldest.

Honestly, with him I only felt panic. I was hungover and felt really sick all day so did a test to rule it out. Came back positive. Sat in the bathroom on my own trying to decide if I wanted to tell DH or not!

With my youngest I did feel differently because I had spotting and thought it was my period. It stopped the next day and I'd had similar with my first. So I did a test and it was positive. That was a huge sense of relief. Although it was hilarious telling DH after telling him the day before I definitely wasn't pregnant!!

Ihatehashtags · 09/04/2019 18:11

It took us just over a year to get a BFp. I was in shock honestly. I kept feeling like my period was coming but didn’t bother testing because I knew it would be another negative. I hope you get yours soon . Have you had yours and your partners fertility rested? A year is a long time.

DeadDoorpost · 09/04/2019 18:13

My 1st made me feel sick. 2nd I laughed because I'd been telling DH I was certain I was. Was then followed by complete sadness at not being able to eat cold brie. Still upset about it now tbh and I'm 18 weeks... was also not looking forward to what I knew was going to be a very long, very tiring 9 months. I hate pregnancy. I have Hyperemesis so it has a negative impact on me.

Hopefully your BFP when it happens will be full of joy. I know my friend who's going through IVF will be overjoyed when she gets hers. It's been a difficult journey. I'm usually much happier about other people's pregnancies anyway.

PickettBowtruckles · 09/04/2019 18:13

Fingers crossed for you to get your BFP soon, OP.

We had been TTC just a little shorter than you have, and I had been told I had polycystic ovaries and we weren’t hopeful of getting a BFP anytime soon. My first inkling of a BFP was the tiniest shadow on a test, I did one again the next morning, another shadow. That evening I was in the bath and needed to get out to pee, I was talking to a group of other MN’ers I got chatting to on the conception boards (who I still talk to most days, they are the best bunch of women and it was hugely helpful to have them. I was the first in the group to have my baby and the day after I got home they sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a teddy and chocolates to my house. It really really helps to talk to people in a similar situation so I would reccomend the conception board!) Sorry I’m going a bit off topic, anyway I did another and it was clear enough to take a picture and ask the other girls for their opinion who all agreed it was a positive. I was a bit shell shocked looking back, it wasn’t an over whelming dance around the bathroom excited kind of feeling, more just disbelief as I didn’t ‘feel’ pregnant at all.

Good luck, OP.

PurpleFlower1983 · 09/04/2019 18:14

I feel for you OP, we were TTC for 3 years and one day it just happened! Felt completely surreal and I also felt relief that I didn’t have to go through all the infertility appointments etc. that we had lined up.

We now have a gorgeous little 7 week old.

Osirus · 09/04/2019 18:15

I cried and was speechless, I’d never felt like it before. My BFP was given to me over the phone by my IVF clinic.

Jimjamjools · 09/04/2019 18:17

Bit shellshocked, I'd taken a test 2 days previously and thought it had been negative so went and got very very drunk. Then when still big period took another and there was my positive. I felt very nervous I'd fucked up my baby before I'd even had her. Then I felt weirdly connected to all the women in history who had had babies - I imagined queen Victoria finding out she was pregnant, and the poorest medieval peasant woman and just felt like I was joining a long line of women in history who had been on this journey. But that will be the history teacher geek in me!

whitehalleve · 09/04/2019 18:18

Disbelief and elation for me

Jimjamjools · 09/04/2019 18:18

When still NO period, not big period!

spagbowlexplosion · 09/04/2019 18:18

Like a wave of absolutely terrifying massiveness and shock followed by panic.
I was shocked I felt that way, specifically as Dc2 was so desperately wanted and took ages to conceive, I imagined a moment like you said - in reality DP and I just wondered around for a few days in a bubble of ‘But actually, are we really ready?’
I hope you get your BFP soon

Wallywobbles · 09/04/2019 18:22

We weren't trying but apparently not hard enough. I was absolutely gob smacked.

The doc had sent me for a blood test because I'd missed a period. Didn't occur to me I could be pregnant. When I opened the results I had to ask the clinic what positive actually meant.

Original poster

My2019Wish · 09/04/2019 18:48

Such different stories on here! So good to hear the different views and thanks for all the good lucks etc. Just keep trying to think I’ll be getting closer to those two lines each day

OP posts:

SoozC · 09/04/2019 20:17

It took us nearly 2 years to get our first bfp, followed by 2-and-a-half weeks of absolute bliss before I miscarried.

5 months later I got a second bfp and was overjoyed but also instantly scared something would happen. Very fortunately it didn't and 3 years after we started trying we had our baby.

It's heartbreaking not to get a bfp month after month but try to hang in there: it happened twice for us just when I thought we'd have to look into IVF.

Giddyuppp · 09/04/2019 20:19

I didn't believe it was true because I also tried for just over a year before I fell pregnant. I tried not to get ahead of myself until I did a digital test the next day that actually said in words I was pregnant & even then it didn't feel real as I didn't think it would happen to us. Then, after telling people, I was amazed by now many people said it took longer than us to conceive so I wished I hadn't compared myself to the few that did conceive quickly as it would have taken a lot of stress out of it.

Triskaidekaphilia · 09/04/2019 20:26

I was 3 days late testing because after 18 months of trying I had given up and we were about to go for fertility testing. All I felt was utter shock when I saw a second line. Before and throughout ttc I had thought of so many cute ways to tell DH if it finally happened, but instead I walked in shaking and blurted it out!

PumpkinPie2016 · 09/04/2019 20:26

I remember being a bit shocked! Our baby was very much planned and wanted - but we had only be trying for about 5 months and the month before the bfp had been very stressful so I didn't think I would get pregnant that month.

I was actually at work when I tested - I can remember sitting at my desk and suddenly feeling like I was going to throw up and then retching. Thankfully, my desk was in a science lab and so it had a sink! When the same thing happened about 20 mins later, I decided to test using the test in my bag. I remember going to the toilets convinced it would be negative.

When I realised it was positive, I couldn't quite believe it - so much so, that I went out to boots and bought another test!

It was definitely correct - he's now 5!

Good luck OP - I hope you get your bfp soon

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