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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this CFery or not (parking related)?

53 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/04/2019 13:11

As DH and I are split down the middle on this one.

We live in a small terraced cottage in a small village. Each cottage has space on the road outside for one car, and the unspoken (and uniquely British!) rule is we do not park outside each other's cottages. Occasionally there will be a funeral or something and an outsider will park there but all in all the agreement works well.

On Saturday night DH and I went out for a few drinks in town and left the car there. The following morning there was a car in "our" space- fair enough, we don't own the road.

DH is incensed because this is a neighbour from over the road who uses her car very infrequently. I have maintained that she's bound to move it again once there's a space on her road- she has not Hmm

DH is now convinced that the car will remain there for all eternity and the neighbour is displaying CFery of the highest order. I think she's just a bit clueless about "how things are done". Though I'm mystified that she hasn't moved it I struggle to lose any sleep over it.

So who is right obviously not the neighbour ?

OP posts:
Isitteayourlookingfor · 02/04/2019 13:13

If the space outside your cottage is allocated to your cottage by deeds etc then yanbu.
Otherwise you are right, you don’t own the road and she can park where she wants

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 02/04/2019 13:13

As you said is an informal thing between neighbours, your DH is wrong.

You don't own the space and as polite as it is to park the way you have been, that car can park there. Sorry.

Damntheman · 02/04/2019 13:21

Admittedly I would be irritated by a neighbour parking there when there's a long-standing 'understanding'. Particularly if it doesn't look likely that the car will move any time soon! But sadly, neighbour has every right to park there.

I'd consider going over there when you see that the spot outsider neighbour's house is free with some chocolates and sheepishly enquiring if it's possible to bribe neighbour to free up the space nearest your house. I'd be okay with that if I were neighbour and it was a sheepish request at least! But be prepared to accept a no.

redwoodmazza · 02/04/2019 13:23

What about parking outside the neighbours house?

IvanaPee · 02/04/2019 13:24

Why did she park it there? Am I being thick? Why didn’t she park where she always parks?

Chocolateisfab · 02/04/2019 13:28

Block her in. Bet she suddenly needs to move it!

Cheeserton · 02/04/2019 13:31

Nope, sorry. You don't own the road. That's the start and the finish of it. You may prefer to park outside your house, but it's not a right.

Onceuponacheesecake · 02/04/2019 13:32

I really dislike it when other people park their car outside my house. Are they parked legally? Yes. Am I unreasonable? Also yes 😁 I don't have to like them parking there though. I just have a grumble to myself. All my neighbours make an effort with regards to parking so we only really have issues if someone has guests or workmen at the house. If I had to park elsewhere I'd move it when a space outside my own house became available, or at least on my own street. I'd feel cheeky otherwise (and yes I KNOW I'm allowed to parked outside other people's homes) all my neighbours are considerate with parking and we all like to park outside our own homes.

If your neighbour doesn't use their car much it's likely they haven't noticed or don't care about the rest of the streets parking habits.

ZoeWashburne · 02/04/2019 13:40

I genuinely cannot believe people feel entitled to the space outside their house on a public road. I have never in my life outside of MN heard of this nonsense. Feeling entitled to a public space that no one else can use is the definition of CFery.

If parking in the same space is so important, put in a driveway and a dropped curb.

Beargrin · 02/04/2019 13:48

I think it is rude to park directly outside someone's house for a long period of time.
They probably pay their road tax though so there's not much you can do. I'm sure she's not there to offend you but I understand the frustration. If you know it's her car could you politely request she moves it?

Holidayshopping · 02/04/2019 13:49

Where does she park her car normally?

bridgetreilly · 02/04/2019 13:51

She's entitled to park her car there. You can park yours anywhere else that it's legal. YABU.

RandomName9 · 02/04/2019 13:51

Where I used to live it was the unspoken rule of the space outside your house was yours because we weren't allowed drop curbs or to have driveways due to double paths or something the council told us. The neighbours generally always stuck to it but visitors parked where they liked and you would quietly hate them for the evening but knew you could never actually say anything as you don't own the road!!

She isn't in the wrong and probably doesn't realise "how it works" on your road. If she doesn't drive she may not be too fussed where her car is parked!!

bridgetreilly · 02/04/2019 13:53

I genuinely cannot believe people feel entitled to the space outside their house on a public road. I have never in my life outside of MN heard of this nonsense.

I mean, I agree with you, but they totally do. I've been shouted at for parking legally outside someone's house before. And made to move my car (after it had snowed) because I was a few feet further along than normal and the neighbour wasn't willing to park in the empty space just down the road. If it had been my house I wouldn't have done it, but I was just a temporary lodger and didn't want to cause trouble for my nice landlady who had to put up with this guy forever.

Sparklywolf · 02/04/2019 13:54

ZoeWashburne not just MN I'm afraid. I work in community care and over the years have had dozens of people leave notes on my car or come out shouting because I've parked outside their house (completely legally and where possible considerately for driveways opposite) in fact we have current clients who have complained to our office about it and threatened to go to the local press about "carers making our lives hell". Those neighbours are added to our blacklist of folk we will never accept as clients on the grounds they are unreasonable!

cuppycakey · 02/04/2019 13:55

YABU

She can park wherever she likes so long as it is legal. Your Dh needs to get over himself.

ThreeAnkleBiters · 02/04/2019 13:56

You're both half right, if it's an unspoken rule and the neighbour knows about it then she should not park there (despite being legally entitled) as it's not the polite neighbourly thing to do. I would probably politely ask her to move it, while acknowledging that she's legally parked.

Alsohuman · 02/04/2019 13:56

We have the same “understanding” with our neighbours and have to suck it up when an “outsider” takes our space. That’s usually for a matter of hours. I totally understand we don’t own the road but I’d still be pissed off and mutter darkly until it moved.

EleanorLavish · 02/04/2019 13:56

I tried to park on the roads near our high street recently and so many of the houses had put cones outside their house-its a public road! You want private parking move.
The high street is doing quite well at the minute, and they will benefit hugely in the increase in house prices, which they will like. But no one is able to use it if they can't park!
Drives me mad.

EleanorLavish · 02/04/2019 13:57

Sorry, should have said, I don't think your neighbour is being cheeky, sorry.

TrixieFranklin · 02/04/2019 13:58

Tough tits, it's a public road.

M4J4 · 02/04/2019 13:58

You are clearly as incensed as your DH but are trying to act all nonchalant on this this thread, OP! Grin

Just admit you want to key her car and embrace the rage.

Why doesn't knock on her door and say you guys are doing a big charity drive so need to have your car right outside your house? Or just park in the space outside her house?

M4J4 · 02/04/2019 13:59

But yes, it's not CF ery, she has her own space.

Damntheman · 02/04/2019 13:59

Nobody pays road tax.. it isn't a thing.

Can people feel bullishly entitled to the space outside their house? No.

Is it okay to politely ask someone to free up the space ourside your house if there are other spaces nearby and you are fully prepared to accept a no? Sure, why not? There's nothing wrong with being considerate.

IHopeYouUnderstandWeArePuppets · 02/04/2019 14:00

Can you not just park outside of her house then?

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