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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this CFery or not (parking related)?

53 replies

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/04/2019 13:11

As DH and I are split down the middle on this one.

We live in a small terraced cottage in a small village. Each cottage has space on the road outside for one car, and the unspoken (and uniquely British!) rule is we do not park outside each other's cottages. Occasionally there will be a funeral or something and an outsider will park there but all in all the agreement works well.

On Saturday night DH and I went out for a few drinks in town and left the car there. The following morning there was a car in "our" space- fair enough, we don't own the road.

DH is incensed because this is a neighbour from over the road who uses her car very infrequently. I have maintained that she's bound to move it again once there's a space on her road- she has not Hmm

DH is now convinced that the car will remain there for all eternity and the neighbour is displaying CFery of the highest order. I think she's just a bit clueless about "how things are done". Though I'm mystified that she hasn't moved it I struggle to lose any sleep over it.

So who is right obviously not the neighbour ?

OP posts:
ASundayWellSpent · 02/04/2019 14:02

Argh this happens to us! We live in an urbanisation with a loop road which only gives access to our houses, no other reason to drive through or park. Each house has at least two, or in some cases three, "spaces" on "their bit" of road AKA the bit that borders their fence, aswell as off road parking and garage. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. my parents come to visit my dad parks about three houses down, in front of someone elses house. We always have at least one space free, mostly two in "our bit". I can see the neighbours marvelling at his CFery flouncing of "the rules" and I ask him why every time... He says because it is a road and whoever can park wherever and he fancied there. The shame haha

LittlePaintBox · 02/04/2019 14:21

I'm puzzled, OP. Where is your car parked at the moment?

Singlenotsingle · 02/04/2019 14:24

Well, you've got to park your car somewhere, haven't you. Can't you park it outside hers?

NKFell · 02/04/2019 14:24

Nobody pays road tax.. it isn't a thing. Wait what? I thought that's what Vehicle Excise Tax was? (I'm fully prepared to be wrong!)

OP I totally get where your DH is coming from but sadly, HIBU! I'm with you on this one.

NKFell · 02/04/2019 14:25

Or maybe 'Vehicle Excise Duty'....summit like that Grin

MaroonFlame · 02/04/2019 14:28

What happens with ‘unwritten agreements’ when new people move in? What if they don’t want to agree to it? I find it incredibly frustrating that my visitors get daggers from neighbours and are put off coming to my home... when it’s a public road! One has even experienced racism before it was vile. I feel like I’m living in the 80s! Maybe move on with the times and realise people have regular visitors. Not sure that ‘daggering eyes’ at grieving people is appropriate behaviour

Acis · 02/04/2019 14:44

Vehicle excise duty hasn't been earmarked for road construction since 1937. It's just another tax. Road maintenance is paid for out of general funding raised from taxation.

Alsohuman · 02/04/2019 14:48

When someone new moves in we pop round with a bottle of wine and a card and mention our “gentleman’s agreement” in passing. They usually say that the previous owner has already told them.

AllTheFunAndGames · 02/04/2019 14:52

Ask her politely to move her car. It doesn't need to be a big deal.

PCohle · 02/04/2019 14:55

If my neighbour asked me to move because I'd parked outside their house I'd think they were mad. It's the public highway.

Reallyevilmuffin · 02/04/2019 14:59

I don't get this. Car is parked legally. Car is not abadoned. Car is known to be owned by someone living within walking distance. I feel your husband is the CF for getting outraged at this. The only time I would change that is if they are not using a driveway and kerb parking without need

Pinkmonkeybird · 02/04/2019 15:23

I live in a road where it is all terraced houses and it is fair game to be honest. We park wherever we can and just have to suck it up if someone parks outside our house - we don't own the road. Ideally it would be nice to have a space there 24/7 to come back to, but it is a busy area. Last night I didn't get home until 9.30pm and had to park about 20 houses further up the road. You just get used to it.

SilverySurfer · 02/04/2019 15:31

ZoeWashburne
I genuinely cannot believe people feel entitled to the space outside their house on a public road. I have never in my life outside of MN heard of this nonsense. Feeling entitled to a public space that no one else can use is the definition of CFery.

I couldn't agree more, it's utterly bonkers.

Drogosnextwife · 02/04/2019 15:34

Technically there is nothing you can do because the road doesn't belong to you BUT I completely understand how your DH feels because we have a similar situation in our road except they put a business in a few years ago and one of the workers parks in "my space" every fucking time she is working. It pisses me off no end but I can't say anything so I will just silently fume everytime she does it. (She gets the space when I go to do the school run and she starts work. I'm a childminder and it makes things a lot harder for me otherwise I wouldn't really care)

Redglitter · 02/04/2019 15:34

I cant believe people think the OP should ask her neighbour to move her car just because it's in their preferred place. Shes as much right to park there as anyone

maryberryslayers · 02/04/2019 15:37

YANBU, I lived in an identical situation previously and it used to be so frustrating, especially when they leave their car there for ages.
We once had a random car park directly in between the 2 spaces outside our cottage for 3 weeks!
When 'newbies' used to move in I used to ask them kindly if they wouldn't mind not parking outside our house as I had lots to carry and struggled if I was far away, it always worked. Maybe just pop over and ask her if she wouldn't mind moving, say it's causing problems as you don't like to park outside other peoples houses?

dreichuplands · 02/04/2019 15:37

We once lived somewhere with these 'rules' having come from London we couldn't believe it. People actually asked us to move cars if we ended up parking outside their house for some reason.
We did then, now I am older I would tell them to jog on and find something real to worry about. I was much politer pre dc.

Original poster
TreacherousPissFlap · 02/04/2019 15:50

Such divided opinions Grin

Neighbour actually has a parking bay in the little housing complex she lives in but think she doesn't like to use it as she can't park for toffee

My car is now on the little road where everyone has drives and where neighbour normally parks.

I'm just bewildered that anyone would leave their car outside someone else's house for an extended period, but not unduly pissed off by it. DH however treats it as a personal slight- I've mentioned he needs to get a life but I don't think he heard me through the gnashing of his teeth Grin

OP posts:
Antigonads · 02/04/2019 15:52

The unwritten rule operates in many terraced streets. I once had terrible issues with an arsey neighbour who took umbrage when my now DH moved in with me. He liked having a single female living next door, but got up to all sorts of stupid shennanigans when I had a man living there. He would move his car to try and prevent me parking but I became a bloody parking expert, getting my 4x4 into the tightest space.

He even called the police on me, when I was 7 months pregnant, to say I had damaged his car with my towbar. The police told him to stop harassing me.

I'm with your DH OP. It would annoy me but I am a narrow minded petty individual. I would park out side her house and make considerable noise moving my car at unsocial hours.

Sashkin · 02/04/2019 15:54

Oh well then, just park in her bay from now on! Win-win, you get an off-road space so less likely to get dents.

Isitteayourlookingfor · 02/04/2019 16:15

Wow antigonads seems your neighbour isn’t the only arsey one.
You’d really do that just because someone parked outside your house?
Makes me feel sorry for your neighbour

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/04/2019 16:22

My husband gets incredibly annoyed when someone parks outside our house. As our next door neighbour parks half outside our house every day (even when there is room outside hers) he spends lots of time annoyed.

Damntheman · 02/04/2019 16:37

I don't see what's so wrong about politely asking if someone would mind moving so long as you're willing to accept no for an answer.

M4J4 · 02/04/2019 17:19

I'm just bewildered that anyone would leave their car outside someone else's house for an extended period

You would be shocked in London, people often have to park streets away from their house.

GabriellaMontez · 02/04/2019 17:25

Obviously you have no right to the space.

But leaving it there for an extended period is inconsiderate.. This isn't london. She has her own allocated space. So imo she's rude.

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