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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To object to MIL's response to our name choices

36 replies

alicet · 09/07/2007 21:21

Dh and I have had an absolute nightmare trying to decide what to call our ds due in Oct as we have very different ideas and have finally narrowed the names for lo down to 2 - Adam and Patrick (Paddy). He prefers one and I prefer the other so we were having a bit of banter about in front of MIL. She doesn't like Paddy. What she actually said was 'if you call your son Patrick or Paddy I won't be able to love him'. Couldn't believe it!!!! Laughed at her and said ' don't be so ridiculous - you can't love or not love a little baby because of his name!!' in a jokey way because I was so gobsmacked. Then changed the subject.

But finding it hard not to think about it. Regardless of whether you like the name or not isn't this an absolutely ridiculous reaction to our name choice which is nothing to do with her? It won't actually affect our decision but I wondered if I'm unreasonable to still be dwelling on her comment over 24 hours later...

OP posts:
AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 09/07/2007 21:23

Silly comment from MIL but illustrates why we kept our name choices to ourself until DS was born and you couldn't help but love him.

Lostmykeys · 09/07/2007 21:24

Has this problem with my own mother. Called my DS a name that she didn't approve on and I'm convinced that's why she didn;t take to him for about 6 weeks. They are the best of friends 10 months later.....

Lostmykeys · 09/07/2007 21:25

Sorry about the typos

elasticbandstand · 09/07/2007 21:25

yes, i would keep it to yourself.. you were right, you would of coruse love the baby regardless of the name/

Original poster
alicet · 09/07/2007 21:26

Yes wish we had now. She is usually great though which is why we wanted to involve her. But she said it like she really meant it and has been a bit aggressive about what names she does and doesn't like in the past.

OP posts:
ELF1981 · 09/07/2007 21:26

My mother said "dont call your daughter Evelyn, all the Evelyn's I know have been total bitches and its a horrible name."

I still called her Evelyn.

My mum now says the name really suits her and cannot imagine her being called anything else!

hatrickjacqueline · 09/07/2007 21:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

fingerwoman · 09/07/2007 21:30

what an odd thing for her to say.
that's Mils for you though isn't it.

Bouncingturtle · 09/07/2007 21:31

This is the sort of nonsense that has made me determined not to reveal my baby's name until after it's born!! DH and I have both boys and girls names picked (hope to find sex during 20 week scan) so that when s/he's born we'll just tell people baby's called ex. If they don't like it tough!!!! Can't see what's wrong with Chutney Ahnyah or Zowie Dillin anyhow

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 09/07/2007 21:34

What about Pilot Inspektor (this is a real name btw)!

Spider · 09/07/2007 21:37

I agree with BT. Don't ever let anyone know the name before it's all done and dusted, especially ILs who believe they have some say in the matter.
Very hurtful.

LoveAngel · 09/07/2007 21:39

That's a horrible thing to say! Both great names, btw (particularly Patrick...lovely name). Don't have any more conversations about the matter infornt of her. Its up to you and your husband.

tegan · 09/07/2007 21:39

dh named both of our girls and mil hates their names to the point her mother won't call my kids by their names.

It's you're choice and she can lump it. Did she offer any other names as options

Original poster
alicet · 09/07/2007 21:45

Certainly won't be talking with her again! At least dh thinks she's being ridiculous and isn't letting it influence us! And no, she didn't offer any alternatives!

OP posts:
stressteddy · 09/07/2007 21:49

Mother in law's - who'd 'av 'em?? Can't believe I will (maybe) be one one day!! It's a scary thought the things my daughter in law might say about me!!
Just ignore her and do your own thing. The name of your child is ytour affair
Congrats on babe due in Oct by the way. Good luck babe
X

funnypeculiar · 09/07/2007 21:50

daft thing to say, I agree, and it would bother me too. My mum's response to dd's name was "um. It's good to have a middle name, isn't iot"
And both are lovely names. (although my guinea pig as a kid was called patrick )

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 09/07/2007 21:51

FIL called up after we announced DS's name and said "About this name I'm not sure about it". DP asked what he meant and FIL said "What if he wants to be Prime Minister"!!!

Aero · 09/07/2007 21:53

We mentioned a name about halfway through with ds2 - my mum made mutterings of disapproval about it then, so we didn't mention names again and stuck with our chosen name and now she loves it and can't imagine him being called anything else. Best thing is to say nothing about any names you're really seriously thinking of using.

katelyle · 09/07/2007 22:35

My ds is Patrick - and he was going to be Paddy or Pat, but he isn't - he's Patrick. I think it's a lovely name. Go for it! And he's the only one in the school - there are 4 Adams.

meandmyflyingmachine · 09/07/2007 22:41

Patrick is a fabulous name...

sleepycat · 09/07/2007 22:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

whiskersonkittens · 09/07/2007 23:15

My mother hates my ds's name and told us so when we told her what it was. I just ignored her and chose it anyway, and she loves him to bits - she has always had a soft spot for boys which is great as MIL loves girls as she had 2 boys

DoubleBluff · 09/07/2007 23:18

My Mum said' Don't cal him xxx, my friends dog is called xxx and you cannot name him after a dog'
We called him it anyway and even now she agrees tha he suits his name down to the ground!
Stick to your guns, it's your baby.

margosbeenplayingwithmynoonoo · 09/07/2007 23:21

I warned my mum that the more she said she hated a name, the more chance there would be that we would pick it

Dawnybabe · 09/07/2007 23:32

My mil criticises the pet name that we call our dd by and always calls her by her full name. She is the only one to do this.

She has criticised me in front of other people for abbreviating dds name.

I just let her get on with it now. DON'T get me started.....[weary]