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To object to MIL's response to our name choices

36 replies

alicet · 09/07/2007 21:21

Dh and I have had an absolute nightmare trying to decide what to call our ds due in Oct as we have very different ideas and have finally narrowed the names for lo down to 2 - Adam and Patrick (Paddy). He prefers one and I prefer the other so we were having a bit of banter about in front of MIL. She doesn't like Paddy. What she actually said was 'if you call your son Patrick or Paddy I won't be able to love him'. Couldn't believe it!!!! Laughed at her and said ' don't be so ridiculous - you can't love or not love a little baby because of his name!!' in a jokey way because I was so gobsmacked. Then changed the subject.

But finding it hard not to think about it. Regardless of whether you like the name or not isn't this an absolutely ridiculous reaction to our name choice which is nothing to do with her? It won't actually affect our decision but I wondered if I'm unreasonable to still be dwelling on her comment over 24 hours later...

OP posts:
tuppy · 10/07/2007 07:22

It never occurred to us to reveal any names for our 4 until after their births. None of mil's business. I'd quietly drop it and present her with the name in October.

alicet · 10/07/2007 07:33

Thanks for all your helpful comments!!!! Wish I hadn't told her now but never mind - will keep quiet from here on in!

Dawny can't BELIEVE your mil criticises you in front of other people for shortening your dd's name!! How dare she? I would be inclined to lamp her!

OP posts:
theressomethingaboutmarie · 10/07/2007 09:07

Yuck - families and names - it all gets too much. We chose Arthur as the middle name should we have a son (pg with our first and don't know the sex). My SIL (who has 20 years on me so kind of acts in an MIL capacity) actually laughed when DH and I were discussing it as a first name. I told her that she shouldn't be so insensitive as first of all, it's a name we were considering and secondly, it was my Grandads name - I was exceptionally close to my Grandad. She actually laughed again and continued to criticise.

Problem is, ladies, that there are lots of incredibly insensitive people out there who seem to think that they have rights over our children. Tell em to get stuffed

rhubarb90 · 10/07/2007 10:51

I went through a list of names I like to my sister and she had a reason for disliking almost every single one of them, usually because she had once known someone with the name and thought they were horrible. You're always going to get this if you discuss names with people, I've decided now not to tell anyone the name we've decided on cos then no-one can try to put us off it. Your MIL's reaction was way over the top but I bet she doesn't really believe what she said for a second.

Sixofone · 10/07/2007 13:51

This is the single most important reason why you should NEVER EVER discuss baby names with your family prior to the baby being born. Present them with a done deed. They are not going to say 'your name is shit/ a dog's name/ reminds me of a slutty/bitchy woman I knew once' to your baby's face are they

Or do what my SIL did, and when people asked she said some names that she had no intention whatsover of calling her son, just so people could have something to talk about. She went for really wierd and wacky ones too, gave us quite a giggle

Bouncingturtle · 10/07/2007 14:08

My DSS is called Patrick and can assure you he is never called Paddy... unless he's throwing one lol.
I vote for Patrick too, nice name.

weeonion · 10/07/2007 14:10

i adopted the approach of making up names to stump folks before our dd ws born - mercywald for a girl and grimblethug for a boy. i loved saying them with a straight fac and watching outhers reactions. when she was born - caoimhe ("keeva")seemed mild in compaison!

weeonion · 10/07/2007 14:11

oh - i dont think yabu. i think it was bloody rude of yr MIL.

Fimbo · 10/07/2007 14:18

My ds is Adam (the only one I know!). Love love love Patrick, it was my grandfather's name. I am also tickled with the idea of shortening it to Patch, I think its fab.

We deliberately never told my mum what ds's name was to be as I know she would have had something to say, as I don't think she particularly likes Adam.

NAB3 · 10/07/2007 14:20

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. Clearly you are hormonal as you are pregnant but I am sure it makes the decision harder now as she has put her opinion in. If you name him Paddy she may think you have done it to spite her and you may worry she won't love him. If you don't will you resent her for her input and will she think she has won? Good luck.

katelyle · 10/07/2007 19:19

Fimbo - dd's pet name for ds is Patch! I thought it was just her - obviously great minds think alike!

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