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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think less of someone who is willing for DS to miss nursery so they get cheaper holidays?

176 replies

oasis · 08/07/2007 06:46

When I said that our kids starting nursery this coming September means we have to go on holiday during the school holidays from now on, she replied that her DS will have to have a poor record for attendance for the first year as it was not that important and she was going to have her holidays when she liked!

OP posts:
heifer · 08/07/2007 06:52

YABU.... (IMO)

My DD 3.6 is at preschool as we are going away later today for 1 week (during term time)...

I agree with your friend - there are years and years ahead of you when your children are at school to have to holiday in term time, I plan to make the most out of DD being at Preschool still and going when I want to also...

We are planning a trip to NZ next year, as DD will be starting school next September and I know that if we don't go before then, then we will have to wait a very long time!..

Really don't see the harm in them missing preschool (nursery) when it suits you.. although I did plan day trips out around her preschool session..

For info - I do not plan to go on holiday during term time once DD starts school....

geekgirl · 08/07/2007 06:54

agree with heifer

YABU

calordan · 08/07/2007 06:57

Think YABU, I see their nursery year as a start to structured education but they are far too young to be affected by missing a few days to go on holiday. I have taken my school age children out of school for holidays, and it has only had positive outcomes, dont do it now as dd1 is 10 and I think that would have an affect and she should learn that education is more important.

Furball · 08/07/2007 06:57

I don't think it matters missing pre-school for a few weeks. I think you should adhere holidays and school terms once your child is actually at school.

McDreamy · 08/07/2007 07:00

Quiet agree, missing nursery to go on holiday with the family is not an issue IMO. In fact I see it as a positive experience, the rich reward they will gain from spending all that time with their family is as important, if not more important than what nursery can offer a child.

Once a child starts school (FS2) I then would think twice about it.

Blackduck · 08/07/2007 07:02

Its nursery not school! It isn't IMO 'formal education' (which IMO starts too early in this country anyway). DS goes to school in Sept, up to now he has been in nursery (paid for by us, because we couldn't fit round school nursery hours), I have taken him in and out as I have needed to and see absolutely no problem with it. I know there are issues with the whole holiday price thing and only wish the school ds will go to would do as a friend's school does where they allow up to 10 days out on agreement with the head.

katelyle · 08/07/2007 07:22

Mine missed pre-school, nursery whatever sometimes because it was a nice day!
they did in Reception once or twice too!

Don't believe in missing school for holidays later on thought - think it sends comletely the wrong message. Think it's outrageous that the travel companies exploit this.

katelyle · 08/07/2007 07:23

Blackduck - I don't think heads are allowed to do that!

tiredemma · 08/07/2007 07:24

I cant see why its a problem in nursery, its not as if they are sitting GCSE's

McDreamy · 08/07/2007 07:24

We have exactly that agreement at DD's new primary school. 10 days allowed on written application plus compassionate. This obviously isn't standard then?

tiredemma · 08/07/2007 07:25

Katelyle- children at our school are allowed 10 days

KittenKat · 08/07/2007 07:25

DD misses nursery occasionally, for a good reason, like family visiting, trips away when we cant do other times.

Family holiday time away is as importan as education, it helps to create family unity, continue developing family bonds, learn new experiences etc etc.

Going on holiday during holiday time is very expensive, and can make the difference between going and not going, for some families. I think while its not good to continually disrupt a child's educational routine, going on holiday once a year, or maybe even twice a year, and missing nursery is really no big deal.

This age is far too young to be so formal and strict about schooling.

I think though it is personal choice. If you are in a position to have your holidays in the official holiday breaks, that is a choice you make, and you are not unreasonable for that decision.

YABU to think less of a friend for not choosing to do this with her children.

KittenKat · 08/07/2007 07:28

I said friend - an asumption - maybe this person is an acquaintance

katelyle · 08/07/2007 07:29

Really? Our Head's been telling fibs then. We have recently had a clamp down on term time holidays (we don't do it, but lots do) and he said that the LEA has said he can only grant permission in very exceptional circumstances and family holidays isn't exceptional! Naughty man!!

Blackduck · 08/07/2007 07:30

Hey I night follow this up too!

tiredemma · 08/07/2007 07:31

Katelyle- I think each LEA may be different so he could be telling the truth. Our LEA leaves it to the Heads discretion, children are encouraged to have attendance at 95% or above.

McDreamy · 08/07/2007 07:35

DD's school comes under the Service Children's Education and not an LEA so maybe that again is different. We live in Cyprus so maybe that in itself is a special circumstance.

For instance my brother gets married next yera and DD is bridesmaid. The whole family obviuosly want to go to the wedding and could not visit for a weekend.

katelyle · 08/07/2007 07:42

Mind you I did nod in a pompous, quite-right-too sort of way when he made the announcement!

katelyle · 08/07/2007 07:43

I'm sure family weddings would be an exception!

allgonebellyup · 08/07/2007 07:44

God. its playschool.

Get a grip.

McDreamy · 08/07/2007 07:47

Make the most of your DC's not having to be there.

Once they start school you'll (or your DH) be fighting for AL over half term along with all the other parents you work with!

EscapeFrom · 08/07/2007 07:57

She's right. It's not important.

Nightynight · 08/07/2007 07:57

sorry oasis, YABU.....

NotQuiteCockney · 08/07/2007 08:01

If a nursery school is popular, with lots of people fighting for places, then they may end up kicked out. It happened to a friend of mine.

MrMaloryTowers · 08/07/2007 08:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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