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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don’t like my wedding ring

49 replies

TheFunkyFox · 04/03/2019 18:42

Me and dp are getting married in July. We aren’t having a big wedding, literally just us and a few friends. We just want to be married. Anyway, we bought my ring about a month ago. At the time I loved it and because it was cheap (£100) I thought I was doing the right thing.

Now I’m massively regretting it and can’t really afford a new one!
😩😩

To make matters worse, the way my engagement ring is I can’t get a wedding ring to fit it plus if wojt look right. So I wanted a vintage style ring to make up for it 😩😩

OP posts:
Holidayshopping · 04/03/2019 18:44

Can’t you return it to the shop or sell it on eBay/to a jeweller and buy a second hand vintage one with the money?

Pepperwand · 04/03/2019 18:47

I wasn't that taken with my wedding ring at first and it was also cheap (£120) but I think once you're married they do take on more symbolic meaning. Personally I like looking at it and remembering my wedding day, it was the ring put on my finger at that time and symbolises my marriage as well as having happy wedding day memories attached to it.
That said, if you really hate it you can always change it when you're able to afford to. There are no rules saying you can't!

Amibeingnaive · 04/03/2019 18:48

Hmmm. You could keep it for the wedding then change when you could afford it?

But then would that not be your 'wedding ring' because it wasn't the one you made your vows with? I might feel funny about that.

If you really don't like it, you might just have to shoulder the expense and change it - it's something you'll wear every day for a very long time - mine is the only thing I wear that I never take off (I sometimes take off my engagement ring because it's quite a big stone and can catch on bedding - it's a hard life)

Can we see a picture?

KanielOutis · 04/03/2019 18:49

If you don't like it then buy another one. I didn't like the first ring I bought and exchanged it for another. It is one piece of jewellery you will wear forever. It has to be right.

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 04/03/2019 18:51

Seconding the request for a picture!

Having said that, if you don’t like it it’s an easy thing to change given you haven’t actually got married yet and there’s no attachment to it being the ring you exchanged vows with.

I wouldn’t get too hung up on it needing to fit round your engagement ring- I went for a plain band which the jeweller said didn’t complement my sparkly engagement ring, but I’m so glad I got something traditional that looks good on its own.

Original poster
TheFunkyFox · 04/03/2019 18:52

It does mean a lot to me, it’s Whitby jet which is the same as my engagement ring and numerous other jewellery I own. We go Whitby a few times a year and we call it our second home. H2b had his wedding ring made with Whitby jet inside it.

Ignore my gross hands 😂😩

I don’t like my wedding ring
OP posts:
Original poster
TheFunkyFox · 04/03/2019 18:53

Opps didn’t post

I don’t like my wedding ring
OP posts:
PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 04/03/2019 18:53

Also- plain bands aren’t expensive. Mine is platinum and was £160ish, and my sister’s is yellow gold and was about £100, both from naice jewellers.

Banhaha · 04/03/2019 18:55

Oh it's lovely! But yes if you don't like it it might be best to try and change it now if that's at all possible.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 04/03/2019 18:56

My wedding ring cost less than £15. I've been married nearly twenty years.

Tip: Concentrate more on the MARRIAGE and less on the wedding.

Holidayshopping · 04/03/2019 18:57

I like it!

Can you not wear the two together because of the shape of the engagement ring or something like that? Is that the problem?

habibihabibi · 04/03/2019 18:57

Forgot the wedding ring and just have the engagement ring to exchange on the day , which BTW is lovely and really unusual.

LostInShoebiz · 04/03/2019 18:57

If you don't like it then buy another one.

...is the ring equivalent of a spa day. Didn’t she say she couldn’t buy another due to funds?

NiceNewShiny · 04/03/2019 18:58

I think it's cool. Can you afford to buy another one and have the Whitby Jet one as a normal ring.
Whitby Jet is quite soft. I'd be worried that ring will get damaged very easily.

Original poster
TheFunkyFox · 04/03/2019 18:59

My engagement ring is very similar, which is weird because I love it! 🙈

I don’t like my wedding ring
OP posts:
GregoryPeckingDuck · 04/03/2019 18:59

You don’t actually have to wear a wedding band if you don’t want to or you can wear it around a chain

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 04/03/2019 19:00

Didn’t she say she couldn’t buy another due to funds?

Unless it’s been engraved it’s very unlikely the jeweller wouldn’t do a swap

YahBasic · 04/03/2019 19:00

Its lovely. I can’t wear a band with my engagement ring, so I wear them on separate hands.

At first I found my wedding band too plain compared to my engagement ring, but now I’m used to it and love wearing them on separate hands.

Eliza9917 · 04/03/2019 19:03

If you really don't like it, sell it or exchange it for another one. You'll wear it forever so you have to love it which was my reasoning for spending £630 on mine

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 04/03/2019 19:04

Whitby Jet is quite soft. I'd be worried that ring will get damaged very easily.

I was on a wedding forum back in 2016 when a there was a bit of a boom of US posters getting opal engagement or wedding rings. The amount of follow up posts from gutted brides saying they’d nicked, scratched or damaged the stone was enough to put me off softer gems for daily wear.

Original poster
TheFunkyFox · 04/03/2019 19:07

Iv worn my engagement ring every day for 4 years and it’s still as good as new

OP posts:
ABC1234DEF · 04/03/2019 19:07

Swap your engagement ring to your right hand?

Refilona · 04/03/2019 19:08

I don’t wear my actual wedding or engagement rings anymore (white gold) and wear two old rings my grandma gave me (her wedding band from when she married my grandfather and a little dainty ring with some tiny engraved stones both in yellow gold) that I prefer now. I don’t think it matters at all. Do what makes you happy!

Pocketfull · 04/03/2019 19:10

You can dislike your wedding ring and want to change it, but still know it’s ultimately about the marriage in the end, you can do both. 🙄

My wedding ring fits around my engagement ring (it’s a wishbone shape) but would look strange on its own.
My engagement ring is beautiful but I’m not as taken on my wedding ring, it’s a bit chunkier than I would have preferred, and not a perfect shape.
However I love it as it’s from my wedding day, and it was given to me by the man I love and father of my DC.

I think if we renew our vows at twenty years as we plan to, I’ll possibly get another slimmer one that wraps around the engagement ring nicer, and I will wear my other ring around my neck.
I couldn’t ever just not wear it.

See how you feel after you’ve gotten married, your feelings may change.

Heratnumber7 · 04/03/2019 19:14

It's a very nice ring. You're going to find it difficult to find any wedding ring to "fit" your engagement ring though. It's enormous! And also very nice.