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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want my 9yr old dd1 to go on an residential field course?

50 replies

cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:17

it's my last chance to put the deposit in tomorrow. her friends are all nagging me. she's a small 9yr old. she can't swim. i'm really nervous even though i've let her go climbing with her friend's dad before. she is a bit of a tom boy but i'm just so nervous about letting her go just yet. anyone else like me?

OP posts:
Original poster
cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:21
Sad
OP posts:
admylin · 05/07/2007 22:22

Ho wmany night would she be away?

Original poster
cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:24

2

OP posts:
christywhisty · 05/07/2007 22:25

Worrying is part of parenthood , but so is knowing when to start letting go
DD9 is going on her residential school trip next year and would never forgive me if I wouldn't let her go.
DD has a highly active imagination so she does worry about things, but usually once she gets over her nervousness she is normally okay.

luciemule · 05/07/2007 22:25

I'd be just like you and I was 9 when I went on my first proper res school trip to Sheringham. I was scared stiff and cried every night. My teacher french plaited my hair for me to cheer me up but I remember feeling very lost. Sorry - this isn't a very positive story is it?
Where is the trip and what will they be doing?
I'd worry about the danger side of things if it were my kids - in fact I'm dreading the day when they come home with trip letters!
If it's field centre and they stay there in situe it might be better though.

jollymum · 05/07/2007 22:26

Is it a school trip, how many nights and what dong?

cornsilk · 05/07/2007 22:26

Let her go - she'll have a great time!
I was nervous when my ds first went away with cubs but he had a ball and I eventually managed to relax!

luciemule · 05/07/2007 22:26

forgot to add - I'm sure I'd send them though!

roisin · 05/07/2007 22:26

At our school all the children go on the residentials (yr4, 5, and 6). I wouldn't dream of not letting the boys go with their mates: they have the time of their lives.

Letting go is never easy, but it's good for everyone all round IMO.

jollymum · 05/07/2007 22:27

Is she your first?

Skribble · 05/07/2007 22:27

My 10 yr old is going camping for 10 nights with the Scouts this summer, it does get easier honest.

Reassure yourself by checking what activities they will be doing and what safety procedures they have in place, but I would say let her go.

KbearBrockovich · 05/07/2007 22:28

You know you have to let her go don't you?

I just paid the final instalment for DD's brownie camp (four nights - and she is 8). Am inwardly panic-stricken, DH can't believe we agreed to it back in January, but she is so excited and I know she will be in her element so I have to let her go.

Eeek, it's hard isn't it, they seem to do stuff much younger now. I went to Guide camp at 12 and 13 and on a week long trip at age 15 but nothing in Junior school.

fruittea · 05/07/2007 22:28

My snesitive 9 yo had a great time on her Y6 residential, 4 nights long, caving, gorge scrambling, hiking, despite not being particularly physical. It's hard, but you have to let them go...

Aimsmum · 05/07/2007 22:29

Message withdrawn

fruittea · 05/07/2007 22:29

Sorry - 10

3monkeys · 05/07/2007 22:31

DS1 just went away for 1 night ad he's only in year2. He was fine and really had a good time!

frogs · 05/07/2007 22:31

Ds is going for a week's residential activity camp this summer. He will be a couple of weeks past his 8th birthday. Dd1 has been going to the same camp since she was 8, and it's the highlight of her year.

If she wants to go, the school think it's appropriate and you're confident in the staff, then let her go.

Original poster
cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:34

yes,she's my first...obviously! .
and,yes,i suffer from "1st child syndrome" as i call it!!! that's another problem i have to think about...i have a son who will probably be wanting to do this trip next year and a daughter who will be the following year. if i say no now, i have to say no for the next few years don't i?!

OP posts:
admylin · 05/07/2007 22:34

DD didn't go on her school residential for 4 nights - she's 7 and didn't want to go (phew) but if she had said she really wanted to and all her class mates too then I would have had to grit my teeth and let her go.
Doe syour dd really want to go or is she unsure?

KbearBrockovich · 05/07/2007 22:35

i have the heebie jeebies now just thinking about August and her going away.....

Original poster
cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:36

she absolutely wants to go....no hesitation whatsoever!!!

OP posts:
Original poster
cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:37

I know how you feel KBBO!!!

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onlyjoking9329 · 05/07/2007 22:37

well my girls have just spent four days in paris with their school they had a fab time, DS is ten and has autism, he is currently on a school activity trip, see my photos for evidence that he got a little muddy! and this is a kid with sensory issues who doesn't like getting muddy.
his lovely TA texted me that photo yesterday and has text me to let me know when he has settled of to sleep.
let her go.

soapbox · 05/07/2007 22:38

Please, please don't even consider not letting her go

My DD (who was 8 at the time) has been on an activity break with her school and had hte time of her life. They talk about it endlessly before they go and endlessly about it when they get back. It would be heartbreaking for her not to be able to join in with all of the excitement.

And frankly, who would want their child to miss out on a formitive experience - sitting round a camp fire until it is dark, singing and melting marshmallows with all of their friends for company

Yes, it is a little unnerving letting them go - but they are only ours on loan for a short time. Letting go is the ultimate test of successful parenting - difficult but oh, so necessary!

sparklygothkat · 05/07/2007 22:40

MY Ds is at camp as we speak. He is 9, and I have missed him like mad, he only went yesterday and is back tomorrow, but I couldn't not let him go.