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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not want my 9yr old dd1 to go on an residential field course?

50 replies

cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:17

it's my last chance to put the deposit in tomorrow. her friends are all nagging me. she's a small 9yr old. she can't swim. i'm really nervous even though i've let her go climbing with her friend's dad before. she is a bit of a tom boy but i'm just so nervous about letting her go just yet. anyone else like me?

OP posts:

jaynehater · 05/07/2007 22:40

Loved my residential trip age 11....but also remember exactly what went on after hours, and that's the part that makes me apprehensive about granting my girls the same experience .... (such a killjoy - but I saw Murray Taylor's willie on that trip, it scarred me for years.

Original poster

cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:41

according to all her mates...who appear to all be younger sisters....they're not allowed to contact us-unless there's an emergency of course-and they're not allowed mobile phones or anything.

OP posts:

admylin · 05/07/2007 22:43

You can also be fairly sure that with all teh rules and regulations in the UK there will be enough supervision, staff/child ratio is very good usually. I would have had to send dd away with 24 dc to 2 adults but that's nornal where we live.

frogs · 05/07/2007 22:43

If she pukes everywhere they will call you, believe me. Otherwise the 'no mobiles' rule is pretty standard. Phoning home is likely to make them feel worse, not better.

Original poster

cutekids · 05/07/2007 22:43

yes, I was 16 when i went on one of these residential trips and i remember vividly what we got up to....!

OP posts:

soapbox · 05/07/2007 22:44

Our school policy was the same - apparently they are more likely to get homesick if they talk to their parents.

Skribble · 05/07/2007 23:07

Trips age 16 are a lot different to trips age 9 .

nightowl · 05/07/2007 23:12

let her go.

ds has just been on a 5 day trip, it nearly killed me but he loved it. i was so worried! i sobbed my heart out as the coach drove off!

cat64 · 05/07/2007 23:14

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noddyholder · 05/07/2007 23:15

I was like this with ds at that age but did let him go as I know it was my problem not his.This yr he is 13 and went to italy and you can imagine my reaction BUT it is the best thing I have done as it has given me a lot more confidence in him and it will be hard for you whenever the time comes whether now or later.I can sympathise too as ds is little and is dyspraxic so swimming road crossing and general self awareness are difficult for him but he had a great time HTH

Original poster

cutekids · 06/07/2007 14:17

well...i sent her off to school with the £10 non-refundable deposit cheque. cried while i wrote it out, but as you say it's not about me now it's about her. she was so chuffed. think i've done the right thing...haven't I?

OP posts:

Blu · 06/07/2007 14:22

YES, very much so.
Well done.
It would have been awful not to let her go!
She will have a wonderful time, she will learn new experiences and develop.
And she will be fine.

SoupDragon · 06/07/2007 14:24

Well done for coming to the right decision!

OrmIrian · 06/07/2007 14:25

Well done cutekids! If she hadn't wanted to go it would have been more difficult, but she did so it has to happen

My DS#1 is off for a whole week in September and although I'm a bit wobbly I know it's a fantastic chance.

PollyLogos · 06/07/2007 14:29

Well done cutekids! You definitely did the right thing.

Next year you won't think twice about letting dc2 go!

kslatts · 06/07/2007 14:35

I think of she wants to go then you should let her.

Shoshable · 06/07/2007 14:37

Mine got back yesterday, knackered, muddy, slightly sea sick (went to Isle Of Wight) with the biggest grin on her face.

It was her second year of going, she couldnt wait for this years one,.

You have to let her go, its part of growing up, for her and you

titchy · 06/07/2007 14:45

Gosh dd did a 3 night brownies trip last summer when she was 7. had a 2 night brownies trip ealier this year and has aschool week long residential in a couple of months, due to excellent timing bu brownies she is away 2 nights with brownies immediately preceeding the school residential so I won't see her for a week. She's 8.

She couldn't wait to go on all these overnighters, and tbh neither could I? Wish there were more of them. Also wish ds 6 had overnighters at the same time! am I the only one who is so lax about these things?

LIZS · 06/07/2007 14:48

ds is same age and going on a 3 night trip in the autumn . He's really looking forward to it (a rare chance to show some self confidence, I hope) but I'm still concerned. We know the teachers going though and am sure all will be fine

muppetgirl · 06/07/2007 14:57

I would let her go!

I didn't go away on most of my school trips as money was too tight. I was one of the few left behind and when everyone returned all they talked of was '...do you remember when..?'

I really felt I'd missed out (even though I understood the financial situation)

I think the other thing to remember is there will always be a first time she goes away...

Elasticwoman · 06/07/2007 17:25

Cutekids you have done the right thing, but I know how you feel. My dc have always gone on whatever trips were available, inc residential and it's been good for them. Dh is very keen on this sort of thing so I never had a serious chance of not letting them go.

Judy1234 · 06/07/2007 17:37

At the school ours are at they go away age 7 with the school. It's good for them. Part of being a good parent is letting them try things, not being too clingy, allowing them to take risks.

cat64 · 06/07/2007 23:29

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Message withdrawn

3andnomore · 06/07/2007 23:31

let go...think she needs it...sorry

titchy · 09/07/2007 11:31

Cat64 - lucky you!!!!! Enjoy the peace!

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