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Original poster

For feeling bemused and pissed off at the same time regarding a question my MIL asked me?

51 replies

funkimummy · 04/07/2007 08:52

I have two children. Both favour me more than their Father. DS is dark like me (hair/eyes) but with pale skin like DH.

DD has fairer hair (like I had as a child) and has brown hair and very olive skin. She does take after my side of the family, but my skin is not that dark.

MIL turns to me and says 'So who DOES she (DD) look like then, because she looks nothing like xxxxx (DH)?' with a wry smirk on her face.

I wasn't sure where she was coming from at first, but then it dawned on me that she was insinuating that DH might not be the Father. I'm gobsmacked. We've been together six years and are besotted with each other.

Am I reading too much into this...she wasn't really interested in the answer I gave (i,e - she looks like I did as a child, and favours my Father for colouring.)

OP posts:
ComeOVeneer · 04/07/2007 10:25

LOL, it does raise a few eyebrows at the obvious(in my case 21 years) age gap.

bookwormmum · 04/07/2007 10:26

My dd doesn't really resemble her father in her features but she did inherit his crooked teeth and some of her facial expressions I've seen on his face too. Otherwise she is my 'mini-me' .

duchesse · 04/07/2007 10:30

Let's hope these beautiful twins' grandmother is not as suspicious as your children's. I know it's about colouring, which is nothing like the whole appearance of a person, but since your mil's comments are based on colouring..

My parents have five children. My father in olive-skinned, v dark eyes, black curly hair. My mother is v blonde with pale skin and blue eyes.

I am a dark blonde w blue eyes. Sister 2 is red haired with green eyes. Sister 3 is dark haired, curly, with blue-green eyes. Sister 4 is dark skinned, dark eyed, dark aired (looks Spanish). Brother is dark blonde with blue eyes.

My cousins are even more remarkable as their father was from Barbados, but pale skinned not African in appearance. First cousin is blonde, blue eyed. Second is red haired blue eyed. Last is fair skinned blue eyed with African features and very curly hair.

SittingBull · 04/07/2007 10:32

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SittingBull · 04/07/2007 10:36

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SittingBull · 04/07/2007 10:37

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Original poster
funkimummy · 04/07/2007 10:51

Yeah Sittingbull, you're quite right of course, but then I'm a bit of a 'yeller belly'! I'd die of embarrassement! Perhaps it's one of those things that I'll learn to do when I reach my 30's / 40's and feel more sure in myself !?!?!?!

OP posts:
SittingBull · 04/07/2007 10:53

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snowleopard · 04/07/2007 10:55

I would be tempted to say "Oooh well, it could be X. or Y, or well any one of the various random blokes I shagged at the time. Oh is that not what you meant...?"

ellis65 · 04/07/2007 10:57

She obviously has no balls, when she has to speak to you in this manner when her beloved son is not there. Silly Cow!!! (MIL that is)

Original poster
funkimummy · 04/07/2007 11:52

Sittingbull, I'm 29. Had her as a bonafide MIL for 4 years. Known her for 6.

I need to grow me some front. A bit like Brighton!

OP posts:
krispiecakes · 04/07/2007 12:17

yeah, it very liberating when you take a stand against MIL from Hell.
Beware the mixed feeling from dh though.
My dh KNOWS his mum is a NIGHTMARE but hates me saying anything against her and annoyingly felt sorry for her when i finally stood up to her after all those years.
Still, it was worth it.

amen · 04/07/2007 13:47

she was obviously joking.

krispiecakes · 04/07/2007 14:58

i dont think she was 'obviously' joking. OP knows her MIL better than anyone here and if she had a joking type of relationship with her then she wouldnt feel the need for the original post

Original poster
funkimummy · 04/07/2007 15:59

Quite right Krispie. This person has absolutely no humour to her at all. (MIL, not me.)

OP posts:
kitbit · 04/07/2007 23:51

if it were me I think the right answer would be "hmm, yes you're right, she hasn't picked up any of her father's side of the family, his genes are probably too weak. Natural selection and all, you know." Then go all sickly sweet "shame, she'll never have your hair/smile/height/posture" and leave her wondering if this was a compliment or not.

Of course I'm far too much of a wuss to ever SAY anything like that to my MIL, I am usually left gibbering in frustration. grr.

suzywong · 05/07/2007 00:47

ahem, it's been a while now since anyone has said how witty and clever and wise I am. Can we get back to the subtext of this thread now? Please?

PenelopePitstops · 05/07/2007 00:55

tell her to piss off

genes are more luck than much else

if she is a phsyco

get a paternity test shove it in her face and make her apologise till the cows come home

she sounds an interfering bitch tbh

jeremyvile · 05/07/2007 00:57

"The milkman"

Fnar, roffle, roflmao, titter, guffaw.....

Oh, SuzyWong, you are a one and so wityy.

BTW, have you been working out?

PenelopePitstops · 05/07/2007 01:07

serously

y ister looks nothig like me tho we r deffo related

tell her t mind gher puwn business sillt cow

PenelopePitstops · 05/07/2007 01:08

btw after that post i am the new cod!!!!!!!

suzywong · 05/07/2007 05:57

thank you jeremy

quokka · 05/07/2007 06:24

lol SW, my older sisters tormented me when I was little saying I was the milkmans. One sis has red hair the other brown and I had blonde ? I was always too scared to look at him just in case I saw myself.

By the way I get asked all the time where my sons got their blue eyes from! One has darkish skin, blonde hair and blue eyes the other is fair skinned with ginger hair and blue eyes. Both dh and I have brown hair and brown eyes. I always answer them with "I have no idea!"

Original poster
funkimummy · 05/07/2007 14:31

Sorry suzywong - you are wise and grand and full of insightful information Hope that's better!

OP posts:
LizaRose · 05/07/2007 14:38

My ds1 has ginger hair, DH and I both brown hair. I got so sick of explaining to people that my grandad was ginger, now if someone asks where the red hair comes from I say "You know, it's amazing, it just grows straight out of his head!".