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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be upset about my birthday

28 replies

bewilderedhedgehog · 07/02/2019 23:16

Hi - I really don't know if I am unreasonable or not. None of my family sent a card for my birthday. I am upset. I don't need presents, but I work very hard, and a card would have been nice. I just feel very sad.

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 07/02/2019 23:20

I would be a bit upset too, if my parents or sister didn't send a card.

Cards may arrive tomorrow?

Happy Birthday! Cake

C0untDucku1a · 07/02/2019 23:20

Yanbu. But lots on here think birthdays are to be ignored.

Happy birthday

Original poster
bewilderedhedgehog · 07/02/2019 23:24

Thank you! I thought I was resilient but it turns out I'm not as resilient as I thought I was! I'm sure I will get over it, but right now it just hurts a lot. Not the cards of course - its the lack of thought. Thank you for replying - I am a little teary!!

OP posts:
Mummymummums · 07/02/2019 23:25

YANBU assuming no back story and that you send cards on theirs.
Happy Birthday by the way, hope you did something nice.

Original poster
bewilderedhedgehog · 07/02/2019 23:29

No back story at all - and yes I always send cards on theirs. I am one of the people that they always rely on to get things done. And I'm happy to do that, but just today it hurt me that I wasn't even worth a birthday card. It isn't about the day, or the card, but not feeling valued - and expected to do a lot..... I do know I am feeling sorry for myself, and tomorrow I will tell myself that's enough, but for today I do feel sorry for myself and so so sad.

OP posts:
Mummymummums · 07/02/2019 23:31

I think I'd have to raise it with them. It's not on. Do you live with them?

BestestBrownies · 07/02/2019 23:31

I had this one year OP when I had just moved in to a new flat. Thought everyone had forgotten my birthday and was quite upset. Turned out my landlady's fucking stupid husband had been round during the day (when I was at work), and scooped up all the mail in the communal hallway that he thought was for previous occupants/people who no longer lived there. Thank God he hadn't binned them! Got home from work the day after to all my cards and a box of crocs by way of apology.

could something like that have happened?

BestestBrownies · 07/02/2019 23:33

CHOCOLATES not crocs!! That would indeed be a shitty gift...

WTFIsAGleepglorp · 07/02/2019 23:34

No one mentioned my birthday either. 😢

velocitykate · 07/02/2019 23:36

I'm sorry. I hope you get lots of cards and chocolate tomorrow

whereisthepostman · 07/02/2019 23:38

Oh mine didn't either! Cards are a bit old fashioned tbh, did they sent a text or message at all wishing you happy birthday?

ShinyRuby · 07/02/2019 23:38

YANBU at all. I'm the same, not bothered about presents but I'd be upset not to receive any cards. I think leave it until you feel less upset & then say something & admit you were hurt & disappointed. People seem to think a text or Facebook message is equivalent to a card these days but it really isn't. I'm sorry you've ended your birthday feeling sadCakeFlowers

AdaColeman · 07/02/2019 23:39

Oh dear! Try not to be too upset, though it does hurt a bit.
Hope you did some nice things for yourself, maybe you had something special for dinner?
Kind thoughts to you on your Birthday! Thanks Wine Cake

Original poster
bewilderedhedgehog · 07/02/2019 23:40

3 children late teens to twenties, plus parents, plus sister. WTFI - empathy Flowers . I think I appear strong, and that is part of it. I haven't told them, and I'm not sure if I will, as I only want them to remember because they choose to, not because they feel they should. At one level of course it doesn't matter, but I would like to feel valued, and that is the problem,

OP posts:
MarthasGinYard · 07/02/2019 23:41

Awful

Sorry Op I'd be sad too

Original poster
bewilderedhedgehog · 07/02/2019 23:43

Am off to bed now, as tomorrow is another day, but thank you for your replies - actually they have really helped - I feel less alone so thank you Flowers

OP posts:
MumW · 07/02/2019 23:44

Happy Birthday.
FlowersCake🍾

MarthasGinYard · 07/02/2019 23:46

Treat yourself to something nice tomorrow Op.

Even if it's something little that makes you feel good Wine

AdaColeman · 07/02/2019 23:46

Sleep tight hedgehog.

Jon65 · 07/02/2019 23:49

Perhaps you should tell those who appear not to value you, how you feel, otherwise how will they know?

Motoko · 07/02/2019 23:49

I think you should tell them how hurt you are. And stop doing so much for them.

Happy Birthday. Flowers

MissEliza · 07/02/2019 23:50

Happy Birthday Op ThanksCakeWine! As I lived abroad for many years I got used to the lack of birthday wishes and took them where I could get! Many happy returns from me SmileWinkWink

NCjustforthisthread · 07/02/2019 23:51

if youre used to getting cards, then YANBU. If your family dont send cards and you expected one, then YABU. I have never got a card off my family for anything so i dont expect it, but my husbands family send each other these so i make sure we send them one too.

Happy Birthday OP. :)

gilchrist168 · 07/02/2019 23:53
Flowers
Butterflycookie · 08/02/2019 00:09

Happy birthday! Did anyone message or call you?

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