Awful, abusive ex is getting married. He has done sod all for his child for 15 years. How can you marry someone with that knowledge? He even moved abroad partly to avoid paying child support. A couple of times he has (literally) played Disney dad but after that lost interest. His parents had DC over a few times (abroad) and send the occasional what's app.
I have never restricted access or said anything negative to DC about ex.
AIBU to fail to understand how you can hang out, barbecue, chill with your son, knowing full well that he has a child he does nothing for and never sees. He may say 'oh, I'm not allowed' but you have full knowledge that the mother has never restricted access.
How could you marry such a man with the knowledge that he pays nothing for his child. You know the household budget. He may bring out that old chestnut 'oh, my ex is crazy' but surely that even would make you want to provide some stability then for the child.
AIBU to completely fail to even begin to understand how the families of deadbeat parents turn a blind eye?