To feel weirded out by FILs wandering hands when hugging

[Tweety1981]

Do people ( relatives ) normally run their hands up and down your waist and back when they hug you . I tend to keep my hands at the top of someone’s shoulder or shoulder blades . I normally avoid getting close to this person but sometimes unavoidable

Make 2019 the year kneeing in the testicles becomes your method of greeting him ....

Don't go near him. Say, "Hi FIL, nice to see you. I won't hug you, but nice to see you." Then eyeball him.

How does he rub his hands up and down? Does it feel sexual? Passionate? Or is it just affectionate? Or is it does with gusto like trying to burp a baby?

I'm a back rubber but I'm short so my arms are level with most people's waists and I won't want to accidentally get him and make it weird

*get bum

It feels wierd .. not just back but waist too ... I come from a family where even my dad wouldn’t place his hands there so for me it’s wierd

My FIL has just started to do this too. Surely he should be able to manage a hug that doesn’t involve him running his hands over my bum.

Normally I do get out of hugging .. haven’t mentioned it anyone before but agree , now I won’t feel guilty and paranoid for avoiding a ‘ friendly ‘ hug .

Over your bum

Ugh gross. Could you side hug him?

Avoiding hug is even better!

does he hug everyone like that...there's your answer

it sounds weird and inappropriate to me, but I am not much of a hugger!

That happened to me once and I had a weird mental image of being handled like a saxophone

Does he hug everyone like it? Just females? Just you?

I know some people who hug like that, but it's like in the way they'd ruffle up and pet a dog almost so doesn't feel sinister! But if it's slow even sensual then it's off.

The fact it's makes you uncomfortable is enough to just avoid it. That's what important, not whether it's "normal". Because what's anyone's definition of normal nowadays. Whether you're comfortable or not is what's key here.

Who the hell do these men think they are? Do they think their sons' girlfriends are free rein?

Ex BIL’s mum used to hug me like that. I think she did it to everyone! It became a running joke for a while.

I don’t hunk he hugs everyone like that ... but I’ll try to find out ..

Once he came to kiss me good night whilst I was alone in my bedroom in strappy pyjamas which I think is well wierd .

My OH was in the bathroom next door throwing up at the time .

So he’s just given me a kiss ( which I accept out of shock and not wanting to move from under the bed covers ) now OH is stood in the doorway with a very steely eyeball .

OH apologised to me about it but never spoken of again ..

Dunno what you all think of that ? Wierd FIL ?

Weird FIL. And I think you should air it with your OH (gently).

I have a family friend who subtly pats you down in a way that resembles a farmer assessing cattle - bizarrely, it's his way of assessing whether someone is losing more weight than he thinks they should.

OH realised something because he doesn’t expect me to spend overnight with in-laws anymore....

er, super weird and creepy.

Ok, that’s clearly odd then.

I think the hugging is the least of your worries. Creepy fucker.

I’m so glad I’m not the only one who thinks he’s a weirdo lol