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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeding a baby 10+ biscuits

39 replies

TreeFu · 05/12/2018 22:24

DP's mum had DS for the day and upon me picking him up she proudly announced he'd had "loads of chocolate chip cookies, a some rich tea biscuits and we shared some cheese biscuits" during the day before And after his dinner.

I asked how many cookies she was talking about and she said she couldn't remember exactly, probably seven or eight. Then the rich tea biscuits and god knows how many cheese biscuits - on top of his dinner.

He's just under 11 months and has two teeth so I thought she was pulling my leg. Nope, deadly serious.

He occasionally has something sweet at home and we don't deprive him, if we're having a pudding we let him have some but AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous.

I've told DP he's not to go there for prolonged periods anymore as this isn't the first time something like this has happened and we've had crossed words before about giving him an adults large portion of birthday cake.

He's a chubby baby naturally so apparently this means he "needs more food"

Not fucking cake and biscuits he doesn't.

OP posts:
Unihorn · 05/12/2018 22:27

I feed my babies crap but even I wouldn't go that far. My daughter is 8 months and has a rich tea biscuit and a square of chocolate max in a day. I would consider the cheese biscuits separately though.

Mumshappy · 05/12/2018 22:27

This is a battle you probably wont ever win. Ive given up trying to get my DPs to listen to anything i say regarding my Dcs. They do what they want if they visit at their house. I dont even think about it anymore its a waste of energy.

OwlinaTree · 05/12/2018 22:30

Well it's not ideal but how often is it likely to happen? If he's there once a week I'd probably have to tackle it but if it's a one off, occasional visit I'd let it go I expect.

Original poster
TreeFu · 05/12/2018 22:30

We generally get on well. I haven't made a scene about it and addressed it with DP when we got home. I'm not opposed to him eating some junk now and then in moderation but even Id feel sick after that lot Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
TreeFu · 05/12/2018 22:31

I think I'm being a bit tetchy because of the birthday cake incident which resulted in him having a very upset tummy.

I did speak to her about it but got the generic "what's the harm in a little treat" response

OP posts:
Original poster
TreeFu · 05/12/2018 22:33

It's once a week atm, at her request.

She pops over occasionally too and when she does brings him a packet of milky buttons or a milky way which obviously I don't mind.

She loves him and I'm glad that she does, I just wish she'd stop trying to make him fat

OP posts:
Unihorn · 05/12/2018 22:34

Could you frame it as 'we're trying not to feed him too much sweet stuff because it's putting him off his savoury stuff'? I've done that with my grandparents as they tend to offer unlimited biscuits and cake to anyone who walks through the door.

Oneinthegrave · 05/12/2018 22:36

I had this too, MIL was feeding my child chocolate bloody buttons at 3 months old when he wasnt weaned til 5.5 months. She didn’t tell me til DS(7) told me , i asked her and she said yes and she wont stop. She hasn’t seen him on her own since and she wonders why! He would come back from hers and cry for an entire day (probably coming down off the sugar). Be firm, what you say goes if they can’t stick to it, it wouldn’t be your fault if contact got difficult

Claireshh · 05/12/2018 22:38

It’s not normal for an adult to eat seven or eight biscuits in a day never mind an eleven month old baby! That’s not ‘a little treat’! She is bonkers.

OwlinaTree · 05/12/2018 22:39

Once a week is a bit often really for loads of junk. Difficult one because food=love.

Could you discuss portion sizes with her? Point out that a normal portion for him is about a quarter of what she would eat. Little white lie that the health visitor says he's eating too much or something?

LL83 · 05/12/2018 22:40

I am all for less rules and more treats at gran's but 8 cookies is far too much!

I am not sure what you can do other than not leave dc with her for long as you have said . Will DP say anything to her?

Unihorn · 05/12/2018 22:43

@Claireshh I regularly eat 8 biscuits a day sorry!

Yidette86 · 05/12/2018 22:44

I honestly do not get this defiance when it comes to what we don't want our babies diet to consist off.

If anyone fed my baby a load of sugary crap I would tell them straight if they do it again they risk not being left alone with my baby again until they respect my partner and I's wishes and can be trusted.

This would really p me off, it's not unreasonable for you to not want your baby to eat that amount of rubbish, we are advised to really limit the really sugary sweet treats until they are 1 years old and even then it should be in moderation.

NotANotMan · 05/12/2018 22:45

Two biscuits would be a lot for a baby of that age but 8 is insane. So much sugar!

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 05/12/2018 22:48

Send him with an approved bag of snacks and blame the health visitor, that she said he should be eating this.

I know that’s evil but it avoids unnecessary confrontation.

I feel your pain- my ex mil was a bloody nightmare for this type of thing.

Mumshappy · 05/12/2018 22:49

Unihorn so do I

Ceilingrose · 05/12/2018 22:50

My kids have eaten sugar with the best of them but giving all that to a baby is outrageous. I would have thought his pancreas wouldn't cope.

Original poster
TreeFu · 05/12/2018 22:56

@Ceilingrose that had never occurred to me about his pancreas and now it's been pointed out I'm really angry.

OP posts:
Claireshh · 05/12/2018 23:04

Unihorn so do I but I don’t think it’s a good thing when I do it!

PennyMordauntsLadyBrain · 05/12/2018 23:04

I'm very relaxed about treats at the GP's house, but 8 biscuits is ridiculous.

I'd be worried she was just giving him biscuits to avoid having to sort "proper" food for him- 8 biscuits would fill me up, never mind an 11 month old!

Bleurgh0 · 05/12/2018 23:07

The fact she told you proudly, and that this has happened shortly after the cake incident, makes me think she did it just to annoy you.

She can't insist on having him on her own once a week. Tell her from now on she can see him with you present.

BertieBotts · 05/12/2018 23:09

Stop the once a week, that's an insane amount of biscuits for a less than 1yo. It won't harm him if it's a one off that happens once or twice a year, but she can't be trusted with him weekly.

If you're relying on her for work childcare don't, it's never really "free", in this case you're paying with your child's health instead of cash.

You can still take him to see her just don't leave him with her all day.

Pebblespony · 05/12/2018 23:11

Lie and say he got sick afterwards and that he was crying. If she loves him, she might lay off it. You don't want to cause a rift with her.

BertieBotts · 05/12/2018 23:11

If you want to be particularly passive aggressive and/or DH isn't with you on this, I would actually be tempted to take him to the GP or health visitor tomorrow as you are "so concerned" that all the biscuits might have adversely affected his health. Then relay the reaction you get from them back to MIL/DH!

But for a more normal response, I'd just stop letting him go there unsupervised for entire days.

EncroachingLoaf · 05/12/2018 23:13

Urgh yanbu op I totally sympathise. This sounds exactly like my MIL, she'll stuff my DS full of junk to the point that he had about 10 biscuits in the space of 3hrs once - he is 4 so older but it's still bloody excessive. For an 11 month old 8 biscuits is fucking outrageous!

Luckily we both told her straight we were not happy about it and she's toned it down hugely now. He'll now get one or two treats and possibly a toy or magazine, rather than a pile of junk food when he visits.

The excessive toys are annoying too but at least they aren't harming his health. She wants to spoil him but wasn't thinking about the damage she was causing. And because it was every week I felt as if I couldn't even treat my own child to a biscuit or bit of chocolate as he got way more than his quotas worth of junk at hers Hmm

The only thing you can do really is tell them straight how unacceptable it is. I don't believe in dancing about the issue, trying not to cause offence when my kids' health is at stake. I still don't think my MIL really agrees that so much sugar is a big problem but thankfully she respects our wishes at least.

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