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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Feeding a baby 10+ biscuits

39 replies

TreeFu · 05/12/2018 22:24

DP's mum had DS for the day and upon me picking him up she proudly announced he'd had "loads of chocolate chip cookies, a some rich tea biscuits and we shared some cheese biscuits" during the day before And after his dinner.

I asked how many cookies she was talking about and she said she couldn't remember exactly, probably seven or eight. Then the rich tea biscuits and god knows how many cheese biscuits - on top of his dinner.

He's just under 11 months and has two teeth so I thought she was pulling my leg. Nope, deadly serious.

He occasionally has something sweet at home and we don't deprive him, if we're having a pudding we let him have some but AIBU to think this is bloody ridiculous.

I've told DP he's not to go there for prolonged periods anymore as this isn't the first time something like this has happened and we've had crossed words before about giving him an adults large portion of birthday cake.

He's a chubby baby naturally so apparently this means he "needs more food"

Not fucking cake and biscuits he doesn't.

OP posts:
Original poster
TreeFu · 05/12/2018 23:15

I genuinely think she sees no harm in doing it whatsoever, which is strange to me as she has raised five children and has other DGC besides DS.

He had his breakfast and a bottle before he left, had his meal prepped and sent in a tupperware with him to be heated up at lunch time, and a little tub of his formula for a bottle if he wanted one later before his afternoon nap. He went at 10 and I collected him at 3ish.

He barely touched his tea when he got home because he was stuffed full of biscuits.

I think she gets a sense of joy from feeding him sweets for some reason.

OP posts:
FelixTitling · 05/12/2018 23:17

She doesn't have him on her own. Simple as.

My parents have done this since my teens were babies - and continue to do so. They're sneaky with it and I couldn't trust them. They grew up with rationing though, and have never managed to shake the mindset that any food is good food, they have no idea of what a healthy meal or an appropriate portion is.
I gave up in the end and rationed the time my kids spent with them rather than what they ate when they were with them as it was becoming a battleground and I was always the bad guy.
Interestingly, my teens now try to avoid eating at nanny and grandad's house as much as possible because the food is so awful. No 'meals' just an endless supply of sugary crap.
Stick to your guns, but don't make an issue of it for your child.

Original poster
TreeFu · 05/12/2018 23:18

Luckily I don't rely on her for childcare so won't be put out by him not going once a week, she insists on spending time with him because her other DGC live further afield and she doesn't get to see them much.

OP posts:
Gileswithachainsaw · 05/12/2018 23:20

There's something strange that seems to happen to even the most food restrictive parents when they become grandparents that makes them somehow turn into feeders.

I don't know what it is but they lose all common sense and restraint . I would not be leaving my baby with them. There's nothing big or clever about feeding kids so much crap to the point they are sick, have upset stomachs or won't eat their dinner.

It's unnecessary and incredibly bad for their health.

You have my sympathies Flowers

User1983 · 05/12/2018 23:22

8 biscuits?!!! YANBU at all. That is too much for an adult. They will have plenty of time to eat crap but not at this age!!!

peachgreen · 05/12/2018 23:28

I'm pretty relaxed about food for my DD and I would absolutely put my foot down at that.

BertieBotts · 05/12/2018 23:29

Would she understand if you said "MIL I totally get that you have raised 5 children but the health guidelines have changed, they really don't recommend biscuits any more, you'll get me in trouble with the health visitor! If he really must have a snack give him one of these rice cakes."

LearningToDrive · 05/12/2018 23:47

I agree, speak to your HV or GP, get them to explain the damage that excessive amounts of sugar can do to a baby and sternly parrot it back to her as the GP/HV said - she can't argue with professionals and she's not going to want to be responsible for harming your DS. In the short term Google it - too much sugar increases the risk of heart disease, Type 2 diabetes and causes tooth decay. If she won't respect your wishes then you can scare her into listening.

Notquiteagandt · 05/12/2018 23:54

How many in a pack? Arent most cookies and the like packs of 8. Which would mean shes given him a full pack of biscuits.

Id prepare for runny nappies off all that sugar tbh.

gallicghoul · 05/12/2018 23:58

So 7 cookies would be over 25g of sugar.
Children aged 4-6 years shouldn't have more than 19g of sugar per day.
I think a harsh conversation on the risks of diabetes and obesity are needed.

Excited101 · 06/12/2018 00:04

That’s appalling. You need to be clearer with her and don’t be fobbed off. My DFriend has the same thing with her DM feeding her child, stop it now before it becomes even more of a problem.

Blondebakingmumma · 06/12/2018 00:13

I wouldn’t be allowing unsupervised visits if she won’t respect your choice of food for your dc. Grandparents seem to lose the plot with their gc. No food does not equal love. Kids want them to give them attention

Noodella18 · 06/12/2018 00:36

Totally agree yanbu but please don't waste your gp's time with this as some others suggest. You know it's an absurd amount to feed a baby without having to take up an appt for it.

noenergy · 06/12/2018 00:44

That's an insane amount for such a young child.

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