to be filled with self-loathing at BACK FAT horror!!!!!!!!!!!

[MargoLovebutter]

I'm a size 14 to 16 and 5ft 7. I generally think I look ok. Recently went to a function at which there was a photographer and from the front I'm thinking it's all ok but he caught some photos of me talking to other people and jesus wept, there are TWO rolls of back fat showing through my dress!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lovely slinky dress that looks hot from the front and clearly defined rolls of back fat showing through my dress at the back.

I am filled with self-disgust, which I know is wrong and awful and I'm always banging on about accepting who we are but OMG, so fucking depressing.

I go to the gym, are there exercises I can do, or do I have to cut down food? Not sure I can make peace with the back fat.

You have to cut down food.

But - it's so extreme to be filled with self-disgust. I can understand why you might feel like that but you shouldn't. I can guarantee that no one who you would care about looked at you and thought 'what a beautiful dress but she spoilt it with her back'. That's not how normal people think.

Upper body work. You need to lift weights. It does work but be sensible and seek instruction first.

Are you sure your bra isn't too tight? If so, that cause the 'back fat look' on anyone of any build.

Maybe try a bodysuit for a smoother look?

I thought that would be the case ClaudiaWankleman - about cutting down food! I'm very bad at that.

RhiWrites, I already do weights at the gym - are there any ones you think that would help with strengthening that area?

Worra, no definitely not a bra thing. My body fat is definitely re-distributing a bit, as I always used to carry my weight around my hips but as I'm galloping towards menopause my hips are getting a little smaller and my waist is getting thicker. Sigh.

Try to get a firm grip on the calories you're taking in. Too many calories and you get fat, and you will continue to do so. It really is as simple as that. It doesn't get easier as you get older so the time to shift it is now.

I thought you were going to be Kate Silverton after her costume horror on Strictly this weekend (especially as hers seemed to be just too-loose mesh).

Have a photo taken in your normal clothes. Does it look so bad?

Decent/well-fitting underwear can make a massive difference.

Spanx bodysuit smooths back rolls and lets you wear your own bra

I'm pretty slim - size 8-10 - and I have back fat. My ribs are visible, my tummy is completely flat, don't carry additional weight anywhere else.

Getting the right style of bra helps but I think it's more about age than it is about weight.

Fabulous juxtaposition of posts there OllyB and Electric Monkey! Both size 8/10 and one with back fat and one without!

I think I probably need to lose weight and invest in better underwear.

A 14/16 at 5'7'' isnt massive. If you are bothered about your weight then thats one thing but I have a fat back and i'm a size 10 and would probably be considered slim. I just choose clothes that don't cling there and makes sure my bra fits well and my posture is good. I'm sure you looked fab.

Firstly, stop being disgusted with yourself. You are a human, we fuck things up sometimes, be kinder to yourself.

Then have a look at your diet. You said you go to the gym, is there a possibility of fitness/diet advice there? I’m the last one to preach about food, if you could see my thighs you would forget about your back, honestly. What works for me is cutting right back on processed food and baked goods, even homemade. If I swap all of that for veg I can keep myself on track.

I'm a size 10 right now (probably inching towards a 12) and I have back fat! I can reach around and grab it even

It’s about the kind of exercise you do with the weights. I’m not an expert, I just do what I’m told. But various kinds of exercises like fly weights engage the shoulders and upper back, French press is good too. I’d ask for some time with a gym instructor and talk to them about what’s best.

You know that machine with pulleys and winches? I’ve been doing a lot of arm exercises on that thing. But under supervision. I’m still learning what everything is called. Got rid of my back fat though!

A trainer at my gym once told me that back fat was often a sign of not getting enough sleep

I feel your pain. I go to the gym at least 5 times a week, lots of back related toning exercises and I cannot get rid of the bastarding back fat. It is always there, hanging over my bra strap, even when I’m at my fighting weight. I always do a rear view before leaving the house to check whether it’s acceptable or not! Liposuction???

My back fat bounces when I run, it feels like I need to put my sports bra on backwards! Am a big fan of the body fitting underwear for this reason whilst I'm trying to lose it!

Bra interventionists reckon back fat is actually boob - do you do the scoop and lift? And how are you measuring your bras?

Press ups. Standard press ups, build up sets till you can do 10 x 3

ElectricMonkey are you purposely trying to be condescending because you’re brilliant at it.
Margo unfortunately weight loss is 99% what you eat, not how much exercise you do. Try and cut back on the calories and ask an instructor at your gym to give you a back, shoulder and chest routine. Be aware that the flabby bit just under the armpits at the front is a bugger to get rid, especially as we age but the back should be perfectly manageable.