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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New Job Dilemma - WWYD

46 replies

itsmehere1 · 19/11/2018 11:02

This is more of a what would you do situation.
My current work set up:
Good profile
Salary 45k
Time 9 am to 5 pm to the dot

Job I have been offered
Good profile
Salary 60k
Time 8.30 am to 6 pm ish (as told by the manager) may extend depending on quarter end pressure

I'm 31 and husband is 32 and we don't have kids currently. We are TTC and really want to have a baby next year. My main concern is with a commute of 1 hour, will it be stupid to accept the new job? All the childcare I have researched near our house is up-to 6 max 6:30 pm. There is no way me or my husband can reach before that. We both have no family nearby.

What would you do if were in my position?

OP posts:
BrightYellowDaffodil · 19/11/2018 11:07

I wouldn’t take the new job - some things (like being able to leave at 5pm) are worth more than money.

Would you get good maternity leave pay if you started a new job? At my old company you had to be there for two years before you qualified for anything other than statutory minimum.

JustMarriedBecca · 19/11/2018 11:11

Stay where you are. One trillion percent. 60k will mean you don't get child benefit whereas you will at £45k and £15k after tax is negligible when you'll pay an increased NI and 40% on the extra.
Let your current place know you've been offered the new opportunity and try and negotiate a better pay rise or promotion for your loyalty.

Marylou2 · 19/11/2018 11:15

I wouldn’t take the job. Are you happy in your existing job?
Working long hours with a baby that you hardly see will be dreadful. Any extra money will be swallowed up in additional childcare costs plus the 15k difference in salary will be all taxed at 40%. You can’t underestimate how much your heart aches for your child particularly when they are small and you’ll be glad of a job with a defined start and finish time then. Also if you are TTC you don’t need the extra stress.

CheesyMother · 19/11/2018 11:17

That's not necessarily true @JustMarriedBecca - it also depends on how much @itsmehere1 's partner earns.

@itsmehere1 - if you are not currently pregnant, do think about whether you would regret not taking this job if it turns out that you can't conceive. But you should also remember that you probably won't be eligible for enhanced maternity pay if you fall pregnant in the first year of your new job (possibly longer) - that might wipe out the pay rise depending on what your current maternity policy is.

lifeinpieces123 · 19/11/2018 11:29

Take the new job and worry about arranging child care when you are actually pregnant. It takes time from planning to conceiving, and you will be pregnant for 9 months, maternity leave for 3 - 6 months. You may be able to negotiate flexible working, you may get a new job, your husband may be able to negotiate flexible working, your husband may get a new job. A lot can happen in 2-3 years' time! Please, please don't get cold feet and reject an opportunity just because "you are planning to have a baby"! Just think about whether it is the right job for you, at this moment.

ginandtonicformeplease · 19/11/2018 11:30

I stayed in a job I didn't particularly like for a year when we started TTC. Four years later we are undergoing IVF and I'm very glad I left that job and only wish I had left it sooner.

It's hard making that decision, and I know that I went round in circles as to whether to leave my steady 9-5 job for more money or not. In the end I'm glad I did as we've needed every penny to pay for the IVF.

ElideLochan · 19/11/2018 11:31

What would your husband do in this instance?
Would you think it was a good idea for him to do it?

lifeinpieces123 · 19/11/2018 11:32

And also think about the potential income loss and slowed career progression once you have a baby. It's perfect timing to step up before that happens.

underneaththeash · 19/11/2018 11:42

What's the maternity leave package like?

Original poster
itsmehere1 · 19/11/2018 11:45

Employees must have been employed for 26 weeks up to and including the 15th week in which the baby is due to be born. 10 weeks full pay < 52 weeks service at the 15th week before EWC or 20 weeks full pay > 52 weeks service at the 15th week before EWC

OP posts:
RiddleyW · 19/11/2018 11:46

I'd definitely take the better job and then see what happens.

BIWI · 19/11/2018 11:47

What's the commute like with your current job?

Original poster
itsmehere1 · 19/11/2018 11:48

Current job and new job both would be 1 hour

OP posts:
bevelino · 19/11/2018 11:50

OP, I would take the new job as there are options for childcare including flexible working, working from home, nanny share, childminders. Tbh I couldn’t imagine a man thinking twice about taking the new opportunity.

inlectorecumbit · 19/11/2018 11:50

can you break it down to an hourly rate? You seem to be working 1 1/2 hours extra per day which is quite significant over a year = not including any extra you have to work.
If you have a DC could you employ a nanny?
I think l would stay where l was. Money isn't everything, there is nver enough time.

JagerPlease · 19/11/2018 11:51

You may find childminders with more flexible hours. You and/or DH will be entitled to request flexible working. I would take the job

DontCallMeCharlotte · 19/11/2018 11:55

Take the new job if you want it.

I learned from experience not to put any plans on hold when TTC.

maybe hold off the TTC until you've done your "time" in the new job in terms of eligibility etc.

rosablue · 19/11/2018 11:58

Given that you'll be working an extra hour and a half a day, although the increase in wages sounds quite big, when you look at it on a how much you get paid per hour basis, it means it's actually not that much of a pay rise. Even more so when it sounds like they expect you to work beyond those hours (and if they admit to it happening at quarter's end then it will be end up being more). Roughly you will be expected to work for an extra 3/16ths of a week - if you took those 90 minutes of the new pay they would be paying you £48,750 to do the new job if it was pro rated to your old hours, so given the amount you'll lose in extra tax, extra time to commute, extra free overtime hours and so on - not worth the bother.

If they wanted to increase your pay by a third and included the extra hours in that, then they should be offering you more along the lines of £71, 250.

If you want extra hours and to be paid for (some) of them then fine - but don't take this thinking you are getting a great increase on your salary because they are paying you pretty much the same rate, just want you to work harder for longer!

When you factor in the amount of time that you will need to commute, plus the fact that if you're working later the gap between trains becomes bigger so you end up getting home even later still - sounds like you'd lose out overall...

RiddleyW · 19/11/2018 11:59

The thing is, while the initial change may mean longer hours it may mean you can earn enough to go part time (if you want). Plus the more senior you are before children the more negotiating power you have for things like flexible working. Oh and you can save more and have a longer maternity leave .

maddening · 19/11/2018 12:07

Could you move closer to new job? Where is husbands job in comparison to home and your existing and new jobs? With no help nearby anyway I would be as close to jobs as possible.

LanaorAna2 · 19/11/2018 12:07

If you decide to leave, make absolutely sure you and Old Job are Best of Friends. Old job sounds like the kind of place you could work part time after DCs.

LooksBetterWithAFilter · 19/11/2018 12:10

I agree whatever they are telling you is extra hours on top of contracted hours be prepared for it to be more than that. I’m never quite sure if employers underestimate how much their employees do or just out and out lie about it.
Also Rosas breakdown is worth thinking about. While overall it seems like a big increase the hourly rate isn’t a big jump. I’d be inclined to stay where I was if I was happy in my job for that alone.
I do get what the others are saying about don’t put life on hold because in 3 years you may be going back to work after maternity and things may change but I have done it with no family support and it is hard. I was lucky I had great friends and neighbours to help in an emergency but it is hard juggling it all with such long days. I was lucky that in the job I had I could leave to collect dc and either work later from home or go back and finish things up but that wasn’t ideal either in terms of family life. A friend said she was surprised as she was in the same industry and loved the flexibility for a work life balance. She had different things to accommodate than I did though and her one child was older than my youngest of three so he was in private school that she could happily collect from when she was done or he could board if needed. whereas dh and I were trying to work round each other and a nursery that shut at 6.

GeorgeTheHippo · 19/11/2018 12:16

Take the new job. Don't start downshifting your career before you even have kids!

When you do have a child, look at one parent doing the morning and the other doing the evening. Don't become the default parent. Your DH can do his share.

AllTakenSoRubbishUsername · 19/11/2018 12:23

I would take it, you may not conceive immediately, and then it will be months before need to take maternity leave. But only if you really really want the job anyway, and know you will be happier than in your current one.

ILoveAutum · 19/11/2018 12:26

Do whatever you would do if you didn’t plan on having children.

I wouldn’t take the other job purely for the money, but if it was a step up the ladder or sounded interesting I would.

IF you take the new job, then look at the maternity package and maybe it would be worth not TTC for a short period.