New Job Dilemma - WWYD

[itsmehere1]

This is more of a what would you do situation.
My current work set up:
Good profile
Salary 45k
Time 9 am to 5 pm to the dot

Job I have been offered
Good profile
Salary 60k
Time 8.30 am to 6 pm ish (as told by the manager) may extend depending on quarter end pressure

I'm 31 and husband is 32 and we don't have kids currently. We are TTC and really want to have a baby next year. My main concern is with a commute of 1 hour, will it be stupid to accept the new job? All the childcare I have researched near our house is up-to 6 max 6:30 pm. There is no way me or my husband can reach before that. We both have no family nearby.

What would you do if were in my position?

If you do want to go for the new job, either a nanny or childminder would be more flexible time-wise, or just find a nursery close to work rather than home.

Take the new job.

You may even have a pay rise before you conceive. Make yourself indispensable and they will want to keep you. As others have said you may not conceive for a while yet.

Don't backtrack your career for kids when you haven't even got them yet.

Don't ever not take a job because you'll pay more tax!! As they say the more tax you pay the more you are actually earning!! Also why put a career with decent earning power on hold so you can qualify for child benefit!

Seriously for your sanity keep the old job

Take the job. If and when you're pregnant, then you can make arrangements to accommodate children better. In the meantime save the additional income, and make yourself indispensable so you have more clout if/when you ask to go part time, change hours, work from home or whatever.
I briefly considered turning down an opportunity because we were ttc. Thank goodness I didn't. Dc1 didn't arrive for nearly four years, by which time I'd slipped my new role into one that fits well with dc. I also earn more, so have more options in terms of childcare.

For your sanity take the new job!

You will always wonder what might have been if you don't.

And if you are successful conceiving, you'll be able to juggle just fine.

The TTC point is a red-herring. As others have said, TTC for a baby next year is absolutely no guarantee that you will have a baby next year. If I were you I'd take the job if that's what you would want to do without children. Don't start making childcare related decisions until a child comes along.

Speaking personally, I only moved jobs following mat-leave, once I was clear about what I wanted and the hours I wanted to work. I did look at the maternity policy of my new employer though to be sure I'd qualify for it as we were keen to TTC for no 2 (sadly I miscarried though and still TTC, so no 2 not coming along nearly as quickly as we'd planned).

If it was me I'd stay put. I have been offered better, higher paid jobs since having my DCs but my current employer offers me a lot of flexibility. I am part-time in a management position with some home-working allowed. To me that is worth so much more than the extra money or rank. There will be time to climb the ladder again when my kids are older.

Ignoring the TTC, why do you want the new job?

If it's a step up the ladder (which sounds like) then take the new job. Much easier to get promoted before a baby than after and also, in my profession anyway, easier to negotiate flexibility at more senior levels.

I would take the new job. With the extra salary 15k, you can employ an au pair to cover the getting home from work stuff. That is if you really would prefer the new job. And a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush as they say. You're not pregnant yet, and might find a better fit when you get pregnant. Childcare seems to be an impossibility until they arrive and then things just sort themselves out.

I would take the new job.Take /save the extra money.Worse case scenario if you can't negotiate your hours months /years down the line when baby is here you will be in a stronger position to negotiate more money as your exising salary will be higher

Take the new job, the commute is the same, and you can work child care ie consider a nanny. Don't change your career plans whenyoure not even pregnant. These things can take time.

Do whatever you would do if you didn’t plan on having children.

This. In spades.

Look, only you know if the new job is a promotion, a better company, as rest is as good as a change, etc etc.

But the TTC is an absolute red herring. All you need to do at the new job is make sure you are eligible for the full package of maternity pay, so don't plan to get pregnant before that point. Everything else is irrelevant.

Both you AND your DH will need to adjust your work patterns if you have a baby. Please please be aware of that - it is not just up to you to have the job that means you can get home.

At the point you discuss return to work you are BOTH eligible to ask for flexible working. So you'll work it out between you.

Do you think most men consider potential parenthood and childcare issues a year in advance of even trying to have a baby?

Unless your current job has an amazing maternity package and family friendly policies, you should discount the TTC in making your decision. You'll regret it otherwise.

Depends on whether you really want to be the “principal parent” who cuts back their career to do drop offs, pick ups, sick days, nativity plays etc. Or if you would prefer a more 50:50 set up.

If it’s the former stay where you are, if the latter then take the new job.

Oh and what everyone else said about TTC can take ages.

I wouldn't take the job. The small increase in money at the end of the month is not worth the loss of time you get for yourself.

33% or £15k is not a "small" increase especially if there is the impact on an employer matched pension scheme to factor in.

You’ve had a lot of contrasting advice which is probably quite confusing. I think some of the answer depends on whether you are the higher earner or not and what sort of split you want when you go back to work. My childcare is 8-6 and we split pick-ups and drop-offs. Nursery just wouldn’t be an option if I couldn’t leave work at 4 for pick-up days or arrive in by 10 with my commute for drop-off days.

If the new job really has no flex, then you’d probably have to look at a nanny and that would be more expensive than nursery which would negate any salary increase. You might have the option of a late-opening childminder but not guaranteed. All the ones near me stop at 6 so the only option is a nanny if you need longer hours.

Can you find out a bit more about whether others at the new job have different working patterns? 8-6.30 as standard contracted hours is a long working week. Most places even with stupid hours aren’t actually contracted for that time so as a PP has said, the actual pay rise isn’t as big and If you eventually go part-time, you’ll possibly have less difference in pay if your hours were pro-rated.

It's not worth it when you take into account the extra hours and loss of tax and NI.

I’m not sure I’d want a job where I left the house at 7.30 to return home 12 hours later. I know some people do that, but it wouldn’t be for me.

In your current job, leaving the house at 8 and being back at 6, still feels that you have the whole evening to do what ever you want. Getting in at 7.30, in my head, by the time you’ve cooked and eaten tea, it’s nearly bed time. The extra money wouldn’t be worth it to me.

If you are quite career/money orientated, I can see the attraction, but if you value more of a home life (with or without dc) then I would stay where you are.

Hmm. Firstly the free childcare thing is based on what the highest earner makes, so you could be on nothing, and if the partner got over the limit, then no one gets free childcare.

Once you've got children it becomes much much harder to progress, my professional career has certainly stalled. And once you've done a mat leave, and then maybe gone to 4 days a week, you start to become the lower earning partner and then when school holidays, sickness, fucking school settling starts, you become the default parent because you can't afford to lose the other person's salary/piss off their boss. It's totally unfair of course, but something I heard repeatedly from professional friends too (doctors, solicitors, civil service, vets...)

Is the commute the same? The next level up for me would be about a 25k pay rise, but would necessitate being in London all the time, so the train fares wipe out most of the increase (and add a lot more hassle and time).

Check the mat leave policy, though that might red flag you unfortunately.

Otherwise it comes down to whether you want that extra time at home, or are very career driven. It's probably not a big enough pay rise for me that I, personally, would do it. Especially if you are moving from a type of' switch off' at the day's end role, to 'lots of unpaid overtime expected', because on top of normal additional hours there's a huge amount more stress (I know, I've got an 'always on' job.)

How flexible are your current place? That's one of the main things that keeps me from changing, as I can work flexi, from home quite a bit, decide my own schedule.

Forgot to answer on childcare: I don't know any nurseries that go beyond 8-6pm. School clubs here finish at 5.30, which is really annoying. There are a couple of childminders I'm aware of (in my city) that do 7.30am-after 6, but they're incredibly rare.

If you and your partner have flexitime then between you you can cover nursery drop off and pick ups, without it impacting on your career much, until they hit school.