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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think the school is over reacting

48 replies

averageisgood · 15/10/2018 21:11

to send a social worker to my home, because my phone is not receiving calls, although I can phone out. Apparently I am uncontactable should anything happen to my youngest ds, who is at a special school. They have other ways to contact me, and can also contact my ex, his father, who's number they have.
A social worker came to my home as I was preparing dinner, and trying to contain my youngest autistic son who is very hyper, and checked my phone. She finally believed me that I am not just ignoring the calls from school ( I had to text friends to call me to check my phone), but then told me she would be in contact tomorrow to see if I have sorted out my phone. Why is this such a massive safe guarding issue? It isn't in my control. I didn't even realise that people couldn't call me, I have been making calls on my phone and it works for this purpose. I can also send and receive texts. If they can't contact me, for what ever reason, they can contact the other parent.
AIBU to think this was a massive over-reaction? And a total waste of resources, which are apparently so scarce that there are not enough disability social workers to cope with the case load they have

OP posts:

MrsStrowman · 15/10/2018 21:14

Are you listed as his next of kin? If so you need to get your phone sorted quickly. Would you not want to know if something happened to him at school and you were needed urgently?!

DammitOedipus · 15/10/2018 21:14

Yup, ridiculous. My parents don't have cellphones... If they are away from home even next door, they can't be contacted. That's life.

YANBU.

Original poster

averageisgood · 15/10/2018 21:16

I am in the process of getting my phone sorted out. Phoned EE and carphone warehouse, and have tried all the suggestions, but still not working. It is ridiculous. I don't understand why they can't just ring my land line. What if I did not have a mobile, pretty sure that not everyone has one. What if I couldn't afford to pay the bill? They can contact his father

OP posts:

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 15/10/2018 21:18

Have school expressed any other concerns to you recently aside from the phone issue? The reason I ask is I work in a school in a safeguarding role and in my experience it would be very rare for CS to visit over something like this unless there were other concerns or the child in question is already open to CS.

Original poster

averageisgood · 15/10/2018 21:19

I'm going to have to give my eldest ds's number in the interim, he has said I can have his phone for a while.
But to send a social worker, it is just beyond necessary

OP posts:

NoSquirrels · 15/10/2018 21:19

If you r got a landline they just need to call in that then.

Original poster

averageisgood · 15/10/2018 21:20

He is autistic, it is a special school. The only concerns are about his autistic behaviours, which are surely to be expected. His restricted diet, etc. but he is otherwise healthy, happy, and very active.

OP posts:

TruelyTruelyScrumptious · 15/10/2018 21:23

Schools need 2 operating numbers for each child, it came in in September. Lots of schools are out chasing up dead phone links. They need 2 emergency contact numbers.

ASauvignonADay · 15/10/2018 21:23

I find it hard to believe that a social worker would come out to visit for this. If I made a referral based on the details you have given, there is no chance that it would be taken. There must be more to it?

ASauvignonADay · 15/10/2018 21:24

Unless disability social workers are different?

Wolfiefan · 15/10/2018 21:25

They must have had a reason to be calling you. Not sure why they simply didn’t call the landline and ask about the mobile number. There must be more to this than a phone not working.

3WildOnes · 15/10/2018 21:27

She probably isn’t a child protection social worker but on the disabled children’s team. She probably just wanted to check everything was ok and that your phone hadn’t been cut off and to access if you need any extra support.

Original poster

averageisgood · 15/10/2018 21:32

She was a disability social worker, not cp. Her attitude was quite gruff. They're never interested in me needing more support, I don't get respite for youngest at all, have just been told that it will be reviewed, but then no-one can give me an answer.
And no, there really is no more to it. Except that this is what happens when the LA mismanages all resources, neglects to provide respite and then blames parents when things start to crumble.

OP posts:

TheBigFatMermaid · 15/10/2018 21:37

That is a stupid waste of resources.

They could have phoned his Dad, to discuss what they were ringing you for and to mention they could not get through to you.

MakeAHouseAHome · 15/10/2018 21:38

You seem very laid back about the fact they may not be able to contact you in an emergency...

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/10/2018 21:40

Do you need to take your sons phone? I mean - has it been so much of a problem for you that doing so is worth the disruption to your DS? If not, ignore the social worker or, rather, don’t be cowed by her attitude. They have your landline and your ex’s phone, if they reallly have to contact someone they can. In the meantime just nod and smile, tell her you’re on it and do whatever you would normally do. If she puts pressure on you tell her you don’t have the resources, but if she wants to pick up a phone for you, you’d be happy to carry it around until the current issues get resolved. Would that work?

Jazsimone · 15/10/2018 21:40

By any chance do you have an iPhone?

Squidgee · 15/10/2018 21:42

make, they can, they can call the landline.

MemoryOfSleep · 15/10/2018 21:45

I don't know. If our school tried that, ss would laugh at us. Half of the kids there only have one contact number and most of those don't work /go straight to voicemail. Most frustrating.

Original poster

averageisgood · 15/10/2018 21:52

I do have an iPhone, yes. Ds has two phones, so not inconveniencing him, I'm taking the one that needs credit, he has another one on contract which he uses more. So not a problem really.
I'm mostly annoyed that a social worker came to my home over this, but not one has come to discuss my need for respite for my youngest. I've had to ask for extra support for my daughter at her primary school due to the extra pressure it places on us as a family unit, I'm worried about her emotional needs. It shouldn't have come to this, her needs as a young carer, inevitable with a younger sibling with special needs, are being ignored.
I try to keep everything on an even keel, but the crack are there if you look hard enough. Me not getting enough sleep, my daughter not getting enough attention from me, me just too tired to be a better parent. I can keep things ticking over but no energy for extra things like little trips out, to anywhere that won't accommodate my youngest's needs is out. My children seem happy enough, they never complain, or get upset, but I know it could be better and it consumes me.

OP posts:

cdtaylornats · 15/10/2018 21:53

If you need action to fix it then phone the school every 10 minutes for a day just to check they didn't try to get in touch. Pretty sure it'll stop being a problem.

Kolo · 15/10/2018 21:57

As @truelytruelyscrumptious says, there has been new guidance based on a serious case review. Our authority have given CP guidance to check we have 2 emergency contact numbers for every child.

Genevieva · 15/10/2018 21:58

What did they do before mobile phones?

niknac1 · 15/10/2018 22:00

In my experience there is a diagnosis, maybe medication and very little else is available. It really shouldn’t have to reach crisis point before you get help but I think that’s the situation the NHS is in. Not that those who work there want Thais to be the situation but that’s probably all there is. It’s devastating and I’m very sad about it myself.

BloodyBosch · 15/10/2018 22:08

A friend had this, and it turned out that they had accidentally put their phone on Do Not Disturb! swipe up and make sure the moon logo isn't clicked on.

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