To have just lost my shit at DP

[isitthehormones]

One of our fish died overnight. DP removed the fish from the tank with a kitchen utensil which he then didn’t rinse, just put straight in the dishwasher.

I’m pregnant. This isn’t the first fish that has died recently so something is wrong (we are looking at that). AIBU for totally losing my shit at him? We’ve no idea if there is a virus etc that is killing the fish.

Now the dishwasher is on and any germs are now all over everything.

Am I overreacting (hormones!)?

Doesn't a dishwasher sterilise?

I thought you were going to say he just put it straight back in the drawer!!

Set the temperature of the dishwasher to its highest and that should kill any virus? Not sure it’s anything to rage about, but if you’re hormonal what can you do?

Surely the dishwasher cleans? You can use them to sterilise baby stuff so why would a spoon be different? Yabu.

I may be in the minority, but I though dishwashers got really hot and killed germs?

This wouldn't bother me. Even pregnant.

I’m sure we’ve all experienced one of those situations when you calm down you realised you’ve overreacted a little. Once this cycle stops I’ll put it on the hottest wash.

And then apologise for my overreaction

you "totally lost your shit" over this? Its not like he put the kitchen thing back in the drawer after using it.

How do you think washing in the sink would be better, with potential transfer of germs to dish brush/cloth etc?

Think so- rinsing it less likely to destroy the virus than the heat/detergent of the dishwasher surely?

I was going to throw it out. I’m not having the best morning am I?!

You are unreasonable to have “lost your shit”. That’s not how adult people communicate with each other.

Yes we're all done it I'm sure. But also you're not a fish, so you'll probably be grand.

Way OTT.

Deep breath. Calm. The dishwasher cleans,and sterilises far more effectively than washing by hand. It's not a problem at all.

I’m early stages of pregnancy, petrified for several reasons, feeling hideous with morning sickness, nausea and exhaustion, but it’s no excuse, I totally overreacted.

DP has had to pop out so I’ll call him now to apologise for being a dick.

YABU. What do you think you're going to catch from a dead fish? Unless you ate it, I don't think it's a risk? Dishwasher will kill off anything.

YABU
And irrational
Unless you’re a fish I reckon you’re probably safe from whatever is killing the fish.
I’m not sure there even is a pathogen that can jump between fish and people (but happy to be proven wrong)

Pregnancy hormones shouldn't turn you into a raging irrational bad tempered dervish - nor should they kill your capacity for critical thinking.
YABU - massively so.

The dishwasher will kill the germs.
You're worried and scared, and you overreacted.
Apologise and move on, but perhaps consider if there is someone who you can talk to, to help with your anxiety?

Ok so your pregnant but that’s not a green card to be a dick now is is. Hate the way the I’m pregnant line gets trotted out when someone has been unreasonable, yeah pregnancy doesn’t excuse it

I would of put it in the dishwasher too, my one gets bloody hot I doubt much would survive in there tbh.

Anyway apologies and forget about it.....

Pregnancy made me irrational.... but I'll bet now you've thought about it, the dishwasher is completly safe.

Had you said he just rinsed it and put it back then it would be a different story

Thanks all for your input, I know I was very unreasonable and have called and apologised.

@MarklahMarklah I actually have some counselling starting Monday, so fingers crossed.

Ywbu but have realised you were overreacting a bit and are going to apologise. It’s so hard when you’re having an anxious pregnancy. I’ve been there and been an absolute dick about it. I actually cried when the waiter got mixed up and I was served the wrong burger in a naice gastropub; dh’s very pink instead of my well done. I had eaten a lot of it before I realised. I also refused to eat in a restaurant as the waiter couldn’t tell me if the cheese was pasteurised or not .

Hope your dh accepts your apology and you can move on. Don’t be as weird as I was !

I would have thought the dishwasher is the perfect place for such a spoon?

Cannot see the issue.

I don't rinse things either - why have a dog and bark yourself :)

Glad you’ve calmed down.

The dishwasher definitely would have cleaned it

I am petrified of fish, so in my mind YANBU as that utensil would be long gone if I had seen that- but for anyone else the dishwasher will clean it sufficiently.

Tell him to get a fish net while out. Sounds like everything fishy needs a good wash and sterilise before putting back in action. I have no idea about fish but that is where I would start.