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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Hand hold and advice please

30 replies

toomuchtv88 · 19/09/2018 23:11

Hoping for a hand hold or maybe messages of similar experiences :-/

Had a mc at the beginning of this year (12 weeks). Now pregnant but had a chemical before this so unsure of dates exactly (I think has to be between 5-6 weeks). Went for a scan today as had been spotting brown blood. Nothing on the scan, no sac just thickening? Had some bloods taken and have to go back to have more done to compare. I've been told three possibilities, ectopic, failed pregnancy or too early. Tonight I have a bit more bleeding and seems a bit redder. It is not enough to need a pad by any stretch but is quite a bit when I wipe. Sorry if this is all tmi. I haven't had much pain, if anything maybe a dull ache but tbh I think I'm imagining lots of symptoms out of worry.

I'm really scared I'm losing another baby :-( anyone still awake? Xx

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 19/09/2018 23:13

So sorry for you Flowers

I had a scary bleed in first trimester and went on to have a healthy baby so it is possible and happens all the time. Of course it may be bad news though and we will be here for you if it is.
Don't give up hope yet

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 19/09/2018 23:18

@garethsouthgatesmrs thank you :-) I think because of my past mc etc I was already anxious and now all this on top has really thrown me. I'd already talked myself round into thinking the bleeding was nothing, then when they saw nothing on the scan today I just gave up. I've done all the things I shouldn't today. Ive not been drinking caffeine, ive been eating healthy etc. Tonight I've had a massive takeaway and drank a bottle of coke 🤦🏻‍♀️ Little things I know but all the things I've been restricting myself during this pregnancy.

OP posts:
lifeofdreams · 19/09/2018 23:23

Not much advice but I had a mc last year and it’s so awful. Big hugs. I hope you enjoyed your takeaway and coke Smile anything that cheers you up a bit. I hope you get some good news xx

BabySharkDoDoDoDoDo · 19/09/2018 23:26

Hiya.

Can't offer any real advice but my first pregnancy I had brown blood and was refered to EPU and was told at scan no baby just a sac. Went back 2 weeks later and there was a heartbeat (who is almost 14 now) so dont give up hope completely x

halesie · 19/09/2018 23:28

Hi, so sorry to hear about your MC and that you're having a difficult time now.

I bled in both my pregnancies at about the same stage as you are now, a one off bright red bleed the first time but heartbeat was there on the scan. With my second I bled for weeks but browner blood, nothing on the first scan but bloods went the right way and a week later we got a heartbeat. I hope that's reassuring and you get the happy news you need very soon.

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 19/09/2018 23:30

Thank you both for replying. I think I'm going to work on this as another loss and try to come to acceptance with that. If we get good news next week then great but I don't want to get my hopes up just in case. Ideally I want someone to come on this thread with the exact same story and say they now have triplets 😛 unlikely I know!

I'm reading lots of crap on here atm to try and distract myself 🙈

OP posts:
garethsouthgatesmrs · 19/09/2018 23:59

Tonight I've had a massive takeaway and drank a bottle of coke 🤦🏻‍♀️

I had a weekly takeaway whe pregnant. No need to carry any guilt at all for either of these things so please stop thinking that. A miscarriage just means that the pregnancy wasn't healthy in the first place. Plenty of women have miscarriages and go on to have healthy babies and you really don't know yet either way. I will be praying for good news for you in a few days.

blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:06

Have you done one of the tests that gives you an estimated time? Like the clear blue ones that tell you how many weeks along you are? X

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:06

@garethsouthgatesmrs oh I know I just was being Uber good since last mc hoping that would make a difference, silly I know ! Thank you :-) I'll update :-)

OP posts:
blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:06

Also are you in any pain?

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:08

@blackvelvetband yes I did one two days ago that said 2-3 weeks :-) from when I think I ovulated I should be coming up 6 weeks. If I had just had bleeding or if I had just had a scan that seemed early then I'd probably be more positive than I am now about everything but faced with all these things combined I'm pretty resolved to bad news.

OP posts:
Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:09

No real pain no, maybe a tiny bit of cramp or aching but nothing near period cramp or anything that's causing me uncomfortableness xx

OP posts:
blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:10

I've had 2 successful pregnancies and an ectopic
With both successful ones, in my experience bleeding / spotting was normal from 5-8 weeks. Implantation bleeding. Comes with mild period pains.
With my ectopic I had no idea I was preg. Went to a&e with severe abdominal pain (couldn't sit down) and also excessive, plentiful, bright red bleeding. Like running down your leg type thing.
I reckon you're too early from what you e said.
Sending you baby dust xx

blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:11

But you may not have ovulated when you think you did... mild pain / cramps are very normal in early pregnancy. I'd wait it out a couple of weeks and just keep an eye on the bleeding xx

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:12

@blackvelvetband thank you :-)
Fingers crossed :-) I'm glad you got a happy outcome :-) praying for the day we can fill our house with a family. Tbh I'm quite sick of spare rooms :-(

OP posts:
blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:13

X posting!
With an ectopic you'd know about it. They baby grows in your tube so causes incredible pain.
What you're describing sounds like normal early pregnancy to me!
I totally understand your reasons for worrying. Keep us updated x

blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:14

It will be worth the wait I promise!!! Until it's 4am and you've been awake for 24 hours with not a minutes sleep
Just kidding!!! It's amazing... just you wait and see x

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:16

Ha I already have two puppies who wake me at 5 am each morning for wees :-) I never thought I'd be desperate to be woken by a screaming child too!

OP posts:
blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:17

Haha it's annoying for a split second then you just see their wee face 😍 I've got a good feeling for you x

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:23

I hope you're right. We are so ready, we have been married for a few years now and just done up our dream house with currently three spare bedrooms waiting to be filled 🙈 I know that sounds presumptuous but we have always wanted a big family although I would love to adopt too :-) I feel like we are ready, the house is ready, our jobs are good etc I just need my body to get on board !!! 😂

OP posts:
blackvelvetband · 20/09/2018 00:45

Yay! Fingers crossed you are up the duff! Stay in touch now xx

Original poster
toomuchtv88 · 20/09/2018 00:51

I will :-) thank you for talking xxx

OP posts:
7seas · 20/09/2018 00:59

I bled in all 3 pregnancies. From 8 weeks . All healthy. Good luck x

blackvelvetband · 25/09/2018 14:33

@toomuchtv88 how are you now? Xx

killingtime9198 · 25/09/2018 21:36

Fingers crossed for you OP xx