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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

8 month old sleeping in our room

53 replies

SoTiredTodayZzz · 18/09/2018 07:02

DS has just turned 8 months and we’re trying to get him to settle in his own room. We tried at 6 months but he screamed the house down. This time round he seems used to the cot, has day time naps there, but he has been waking in the night and crying on and off until I move him back to our room, where he sleeps well. I’ll be honest it has only been 4 nights, maybe I should give it longer..

He’s in a next to me crib in our room and is looking very cramped in there!!

Im soft and hate the tears, but also really need some undisturbed sleep!! If baby is happier in our room I’m happy for him to stay there- WIBU to just buy a travel cot and stick it in our room??

Or will this affect him negatively in some way? Will it then be harder in a few months time to move him to his room?

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 18/09/2018 07:09

My 9mth old baby is still in our bed!!
It’s the only way we all sleep! 😩

Tobl20 · 18/09/2018 07:12

Do whatever you feel comfortable. He’s only 8 months. Some kids are still in their parents bed at 10!

CantankerousCamel · 18/09/2018 07:14

15 month old still in our room. She’s a waker so it would be a nightmare to be in a different room to her. We are going to build our own room in the loft when she’s old enough but I don’t think that will be until she’s 4/5

TittyGolightly · 18/09/2018 07:17

8 months is a peak time for separation anxiety, so not the best time to be attempting this.

Greenwomanofmay · 18/09/2018 07:19

14 month old still in my bed, I get a fair amount of criticism for it but it's the only way we all get some sleep. Other parents I know who have coslept have said the move is quite easy as the child gets a bit older so I'm continuing as we are because it works for us and you choose what works for you.

Original poster
SoTiredTodayZzz · 18/09/2018 07:30

Thanks for the replies. I’m generally of the opinion do what works for you, but just wondered if it would have a negative affect on him...feeling reassured thanks.

TittyGolightly - I have noticed recently during the day he’ll cry when I leave the room, even when he’s with DH, so maybe separation anxiety is a factor.

OP posts:
KM99 · 18/09/2018 07:34

Not sure if this would work for you. We put DS cot at the foot of our bed so his first transition from the moses basket at 4 months was to stay in the same room but bigger bed and further away. It was a tight fit in the room for a few months but then we made the move to his cot bed in the nursery and he was generally ok (just the odd broken night)

Oysterbabe · 18/09/2018 07:35

Give it a few weeks then try again. DS is 9 months and up until a few days ago was only happy when holding on to my hair with his face pressed against mine.

WTFdidwedo · 18/09/2018 07:37

Currently lying sandwiched between a 5 month old and a 22 month old! My older daughter sleeps in her room until about 3 or 4am then normally comes in with us. She went into her own room at about 7 months but then hated it again by 13 months so was back in with us. The 5 month old will be moved at about 7 months too when she outgrows the Next To Me.

Eventually they'll sleep alone again (I think...!)

Skyejuly · 18/09/2018 07:38

All mine stated with me till 2. No issues.

EyUpOurKid · 18/09/2018 08:27

Mine is still in with me at almost 2. Get a cot bed the same height as your bed, take one side off, attach to bed with zip ties. Hey presto, Giant next to me cot Grin

ethelfleda · 18/09/2018 08:50

10 month old still in our bed. Babies need to be close to their parents sometimes!
He still wakes at night for feeds so we both get plenty of rest this way. I’m not planning on moving him any time soon!

peonysandhotcrossbuns · 18/09/2018 08:53

My 20 month old is still in our bed.
She loves it, we love it and we all get maximum sleep.
Do what you want.

Babdoc · 18/09/2018 08:57

My two each stayed in a cot beside my bed for their first year. It made them very secure, and they slept through the night from two months old.
There is no right or wrong in this, OP. Just do whatever works for you and your baby.

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 18/09/2018 09:17

He feels safe with you there so I would leave him there personally - in a travel cot if necessary. Sounds like he's a relatively good sleeper if he's happy to sleep through in the same room as you.

Bambamber · 18/09/2018 09:19

My 18 month old is still in a cot beside my bed Grin

Fatted · 18/09/2018 09:24

Try moving the next to me into his room for him to sleep in before moving him into the cot? See if that helps.

I can't remember when we moved youngest exactly. It was somewhere around 10 months I think. He was in a next to me and we really were pushing it keeping him in it that long! When we moved him he went into a room with his brother so he wasn't on his own. But he settled fine with no problems.

SilverbytheSea · 18/09/2018 09:33

My 17 month old still ends up in with us most nights, we always put him down in his own cot but how long he stays in there varies from a couple of hours to all night 😅 however he does go through phases where he won’t be put down at all, usually when he’s learning a new big skill (crawling and walking- took a couple of weeks to get him back to his normal sleep after these) and at these times it’s just easier for him to spend the entire night in with us. Just go with what is easiest for your family and remember that it will probably all change a few times and none of it is permanent 🙂

BuntyII · 18/09/2018 09:37

My 16 month old sleeps in bed with me and I have no plans to move him out. I love our night time cuddles Blush

Somewhereovertherainbow13 · 18/09/2018 09:40

Because of how our house was set up we had ds3 in with us until he was well over a year. We brought a very small cot so he was out of his Moses basket and had plenty of space and it all worked fine. The only thing I would suggest is you decide what you want to do and stick with it, baby probably won’t settle if they know after enough crying you’ll move them back

Givemeyourbunsandyourbiscuits · 18/09/2018 09:57

Agree with everyone else, just wanted to add that they shouldn't be in a next to me crib once they can sit up on their own or crawl as the sides aren't very high so it's not safe. So if a travel cot fits in your room I'd try that.

Idontbelieveinthemoon · 18/09/2018 10:01

DS2 is 7 now but was in our room til he was around 18 months. He had his own room and napped in there during the day but at night he just wanted company. I would settle him in his own room and by midnight without fail he'd be in our bed.

Once he hit 18 months he just seemed to 'get' sleeping in his own bed and would stay all night. In a way I'm a little bit glad we let him do it in his own time; friends have regaled me with stories of 4 hour bedtimes trying to get their DC to sleep in their own room and I'm too lazy for that by far. It hasn't had any sort of negative impact on DS2, sleeping with us a little longer. It just made our lives a little easier.

StartingAgain1 · 18/09/2018 10:03

Can you put the cot in your room and next to your bed then gradually move it to the other side of the room then to his own room? They can get a bit clingy at this age, my 7.5month old screams like hes being murdered anytime I leave the room!!

SilverLining10 · 18/09/2018 10:11

I would honestly persevere and try to get him into his own room. My ds is just over 2 and it was an absolute nightmare. We were so sleep deprived because as he got bigger it was impossible to get him out of our bed.
He also woke up during the night which left us with a very disturbed sleeping pattern.

We had a sleep consultant come through when he was 10 months and it took a few days of him crying but he eventually slept beautifully in his own room. Then we travelled for a bit and were in one room again and it was a nightmare again.

It depends on your child though. My ds was in the Next to me and then progressed to our bed. Anf from there it got worse. As he began to crawl and move about we couldnt leave him alone at bedtime so we took turns to go to bed at 7pm every night because if he woke up and we werent there he would scream and took ages to settle again.

My two best friends had their kids in their own rooms from day 1. Even though it was tough going back and forth they are able to self settle and sleep so well. Wish I had done that.

Tipsylizard · 18/09/2018 13:17

Both mine were next to.me until around 7 months then went in to their own rooms. Firstly for day time naps/changing/playing and then for overnight- one took longer than the other to settle on their own but it was sorted in a week. I needed it - i never slept well with them in the same room - woke up to every rustle or whimper and eventually i was exhausted. Do whatever works for you.