To expect sil to help ..... at least a bit?

[TheStirrer]

Currently at the outlaws which is a highly stressful experience. Mil is a complete control freak about how everything is done. I am currently prepping a bbq to mil’s exacting requirements eg must use this bowl, don’t cut cucumber like that for salad etc....while my sil has pissed off again for a 2 hour run.
Would I be unreasonable to run them both through with the bluntest knife in the world ever or skewer them on a kebab?

Maybe she's gone for a run to avoid her Mum and her control freak ways, can't say I blame her.

Pop out for something vital and go shopping for 2 hrs.

If you can't beat her, join her I'd say! You need a break.

BTW, your SIL has outsmarted you! She knows the score and has got out first!

Where’s your DH?

Another idea... do everything REALLY badly. She'll SEND you out on an errand in no time!

How does MiL like her cucumber cut?

My kind of woman!

Running is a great escape

Yes she has definitely outsmarted me - unfortunately I am out in the sticks sans car otherwise I would pop out to buy a sharp knife. I am sure mil only has blunt knives so no one stabs her ........ only joking.
Will just have to come down with an illness master and retire to room and leave sil to tidy up with her

Just start doing a really shitty job, so she can’t stabd it and takes over from you 😁

Get your DH to do the prep work whilst you go out for a walk

Tell your dh to help his mother and then go for a long walk.

Hubby manning bbq to ensure everything doesn’t get cremated by fil otherwise we will all be dying of cancer by 6 pm
Mil likes the cucumber cut thinly so she can read the newspaper through it like the queen which is tricky with the butter knife provided

Make your spouse do the helping. It's his/her mum after all.

Why is your DH not helping his mother while you bugger off and go to the pub with SIL (chances are that's where she really is )

Tell your dh you're swapping.

Headphones and wine 🍷

How many people does it take to make a salad? I reckon Mil would rather do it by herself anyway. I wouldn't dream of helping/interferring in either my mum's or MIL's kitchen and I wouldn't want them in mine.

SIL knows the score

YANBU not to want to cut the cucumber to laboratory thickness. The only redeeming feature of a cucumber (leaving its comic potential to one side for a mo) is the crunch.

Never mind, I’ll share my favourite joke with you to cheer you up.

Q. How many men does it take to paper a room?

A. Depends how thinly you slice them....

Every time she tells you you're doing something wrong, say 'oh I'm not very good at this, you best do it.' She'll soon stop criticising 😊

Take up running. Now.

Cut 2 thick slices of cucumber.
Sit back in a chair with it on your eyes then won't have to see mil at all!!

I think I shall go with the thick cucumber and a very large G&T - hopefully I will be too pissed to help with any thing else!

Cut the cucumber into batons.

Not sure why your SIL should be helping? Get your DH to do it if he's there!