Noisy eaters

[babycham75]

I'm about to blow my top, scream or cry

Where are you

licking fingers makes me want to kill.

At my mums
My SF is a great bloke but eats like a fucking pig at a swill

I once sat next to an old lady who ate so loudly everyone else left the cafe. I left after half my meal and I was starving. I feel you pain, it's aweful.

My husband's started to recognise The Look. He starts eating. I look at him. He freezes in mid-air.

I'm starting to feel sorry for him. But honestly, how does anyone make that much noise.

Hate it too. I've noticed I'm getting less tolerant and don't enjoy sitting next to people eating unless some sort of noise is going on in the background, e.g music or tv or restaurant. Puts me right off my food and makes me feel sick. Thought I was odd until I heard its a 'thing' and has a name forgotten what it is. My FIL eats like a pig with no teeth, I can't be near him.

I can't bear it, clack clack clack of the falsies that don't fit and don't start me off about unwrapping and sucking sweets in public.

DF used eat like a pig.. He would talk while eating food hanging out of his mouth. I hated him for it. I hated him for a lot of things but that's another story

My pet hate! I had an old boss that was so noisy when eating anything that everyone turned to me as soon as she pulled out food to watch me putting my earphones in.
In my opinion every kid is taught to eat with their mouths closed so no excuse for noisy eaters!

Sick.
YANBU. It makes me stabby.

Ughhhj I HATE THIS SO MUCH

It should be made illegal!

Put them all in prison and force them to listen to each other slapping their mouth together and talking with food in their mouth.

The biggest struggle for me is the thought that he must know he's doing it?!

My main dealbreaker in a relationship is table manners, because you have to eat across from them every day. I feel for my boyfriend as I can’t abide; speaking with food in your mouth; scraping the plate as though you are trying to get the pattern off; hitting your teeth with the cutlery on every mouthful; blowing on your food; taking a drink when there is still food in your mouth; holding onto bread in one hand while your eating with the other. I have misophonia which is particularly ragey with repetitive sounds at mealtimes. I’m a delight.

My FIL always sucks his teeth after a meal, but he is a quiet eater

My husband is fine - until he’s finished and then he loudly sucks each of his fingers and I want to stab him in the eyeballs. I do not understand WHY he needs to do this when he has used a knife and fucking fork to eat with anyway!!! Gross!!!

My mum slurps her cup of tea. My sister uses her knife and even her finger sometimes to get every last bit of gravy.
They're both civilised human beings otherwise.

Oh and people who use a tooth pick when they're still sat at the table, makes me feel sick!
I hate bad table manners.

My dh isn't a terribly noisy eater, however, he does stare at his food while eating - it's as if he takes his eyes off of it, it's going to disappear. also when carving meat, or slicing bread for sandwiches his nostrils flare and his breathing changes. He also scrapes his cereal bowl to within an inch of its fucking life. Every. Single. Morning. And that makes me want to shove his spoon right up his nose.

speaking with food in your mouth; scraping the plate as though you are trying to get the pattern off; hitting your teeth with the cutlery on every mouthful; blowing on your food; taking a drink when there is still food in your mouth; holding onto bread in one hand while your eating with the other.

Add to this:
Banging the cutlery on the plate.
Loading the fork by shoving the knife across the plate and pushing the food on.
Banging teeth together audibly.
Rolling food on the tongue and against the roof of the mouth at the same time.
Making slip, slip, slip noises instead of shutting your mouth and swallowing.
Cramming as much in as possible and struggling to chew, making an incredibly nauseating sound while doing it.
Being audible above the sound of the TV.
Crunching chocolate, sounds like walking on gravel, how on earth can chocolate make so much noise?
Making a gulping noise with every mouthful of a drink.
Swallowing noisily as if it you are about to choke, every single time.

I often have to leave the room at trough time.

I have found my people

My friend is a pig at the table - his chomping makes me want to kill him. We stay with them (and they stay with us) a lot and sometimes I dread meal times.

On holiday last week a woman at the table next to us was a violent eater. Ive never seen anything like it. She was attacking her food and throwing it into her mouth. Very odd!

Man sitting diagonally opposite me on the train was eating an apple so incredibly noisily I couldn't quite believe it. He had headphones on, perhaps that's why he didn't realise that he sounded like a hysterical washing machine spewing liquid and mush!! Argh!

No one has mentioned licking the knife yet.

Forgot to add
He also coughs and brings up phlegm into his mouth with that murderous noise.
He's such a good step dad but it drives me into incandescent rage

Plastic bowls and plates in this house.

One day I will murder someone.