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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Ask the Police for Advice Ref Snapchat?

60 replies

Oxfordblue · 11/08/2018 07:47

Posting here for traffic...
My dd (15) was in tears last night because a boy a year old has been asking her to send photos of herself to him. Dd sent a clothed pic (no head) if her & to stop him hassling her.

She was quite hysterical yesterday so I'm not sure if I've got all the story, but he is at a different school & 'is Friends' with another girl at DD's school. This boy is threatening to send it to this girl & my DD is worried that she'll show people at her school.

Dd never tells me anything, so this is big deal for her & she's asking me to go to the police.

What's the best way forward with this? AIBU to ask the police for advice? We have a station quite close, so not 999 or 111.

OP posts:
Hidillyho · 11/08/2018 07:50

Do you know how old the boy is?
And do you think it could be a naked snap of your DD or do you think she is telling the truth with it being a fully clothed pic?
If you suspect you haven’t got the full story from DD then she really needs to tell you before you go to the police I think.
What is he asking for from your DD in return for him not sending the pic on? Do you think your DD could have shared a pic of the boy with her friends?

BellyDancer124 · 11/08/2018 07:55

Hmm I would be concerned that there is more to this OP.

Original poster
Oxfordblue · 11/08/2018 08:00

The boy has just left year 11 so I assume 16. Dd is a summer 15, no boyfriends as in going out with boys.

There maybe more to it. She's given me his phone number.

Dd has ADHD & is waiting to be assessed by CAHMS (ie some autistic traits).

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 11/08/2018 08:02

I agree there is more to this, possibly she wasn't as clothed as she stated.
You could speak to the police as he's harassing her & threatening to share the picture-if it is a skimpy or naked shot then it's a matter for them to take up.
I'm assuming he screen shotted the pic as it should disappear after however many seconds she sent it for.

delilahbucket · 11/08/2018 08:02

There is way more to this than your daughter is telling you. She wouldn't be concerned about a fully clothed picture of herself doing the rounds. You need to find out the truth. Make it clear to her you cannot help her without all of the facts, and while she may have been foolish, she isn't in trouble. What ages are they?

Original poster
Oxfordblue · 11/08/2018 08:03

Missed out that he has screenshot her pic & sent it back to her - he said that he would send it out unless she sent him 7 lines of apology (Angry) DD said she told him to leave her alone & blocked him.
(Sorry I was at a friends last night & had 2 glasses of wine when she rang me hysterical, am trying to piece it together, DD not great at communicating)

OP posts:
NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 11/08/2018 08:05

What exactly does he want an apology for? Hmm

GimbleInTheWabe · 11/08/2018 08:08

If he's blackmailing her win the photo then that surely is crossing a line, legal or otherwise.
I'd certainly ring the police to get advice. St the end of the day they are minors and him pressuring her for nude photos is against the law, even though he is a minor himself.

Poor you and your poor DD, she must be very scared. A girl at my school (all girls school) got stung by this- she sent a topless photo to a guy (from the boys school) and he threatened to upload it to porn sites and then sent it round to people at both schools. Thinking about it now as an adult it is absolutely awful what he did but these were early days of the internet and webcams so everyone was incredibly naive then.

hamandpease · 11/08/2018 08:11

If he has screenshot it and sent it back have you seen it?

BitOutOfPractice · 11/08/2018 08:11

I agree there is more to this than she’s letting on. And what does he want her to apologise for her.

He sounds so grim.

GunpowderGelatine · 11/08/2018 08:13

I really think she has sent him a naked picture, you wouldn't be hysterical al over a head shot. He sounds vile. I am so worried for this generation of teenage girls 😢 definitely go to the police but first get the truth out of her. If an officer comes round and she says it was just a head shot they will do bugger all, except maybe be cross for wasting their time

MrsMozart · 11/08/2018 08:14

I understand it's hard to get the details, but you'll obviously keep trying as a fully clothed picture is not an issue.

Lots of reassurance so she opens up to you.

Original poster
Oxfordblue · 11/08/2018 08:16

No I haven't seen the pic, she deleted it.

I can only assume he wants her to apologise for telling him to go away.

She knows which school he went to & apparently his older brother went to her school.

OP posts:
Thatsfuckingshit · 11/08/2018 08:17

She needs to tell you the truth before police get involved. At the moment this is a photo of her body, but no head, is that correct?

Why would she be hysterical?

Adelino · 11/08/2018 08:19

Keep it simple.
If the picture is clothed then it would be very weird to send it to friends as he could have just cropped her head out. If this is the situation tell your daughter to play it cool and tell him how silly he will look if he sends it.
If the picture is unclothed or in anyway sexual then sending it on would make him guilty of distributing indecent images of a minor and would put him on the sex register at a minimum. If this is the case then YOU should text him to tell him that you suggest you delete the image immediately.
He will probably squirm like the coward he is.

hamandpease · 11/08/2018 08:23

OP I really don't mean to be harsh but you need to take charge of this situation now and find out exactly what she sent so you can deal with it before it's circulated - if it is unclothed go to the boy's house and discuss the threats with his parents and have it deleted, involve the police etc

deepsea · 11/08/2018 08:23

Call him or better still his parents if your dd is unable to communicate and ask him firmly to delete every single photo of your dd otherwise you will have no option but to call the police.

Remind him it is a very serious criminal offence to circulate photos of naked under age children and the repercussions could be life changing for him.

I doubt she is hysterical because she has sent a clothed photo op. I would be all over this quickly given she has potentially SN and needs protecting.

deepsea · 11/08/2018 08:25

He is blackmailing her so she probably is in a panic, the quicker you can fix this the better.

AjasLipstick · 11/08/2018 08:26

Police OP.....don't remind him of anything or speak to him. POLICE! Regarding the poster who said she needs to tell you the truth before the police get involved...no. Just call them.

SparklyMagpie · 11/08/2018 08:28

I'd be very surprised if this was a full clothed pic without her head in it. Couldn't imagine why she'd be acting like this and wanting the police involved if it was

Definitely explain that if she wants the police involved in this, she needs to give the full truth otherwise it's going to be a waste of time

TornFromTheInside · 11/08/2018 08:29

Two ways to deal with this...

You can visit his parents and threaten the police which might be enough to terrify the lad, or go direct to the police who will visit the family. The latter really will terrify most families due to the nature of the case.

This story is very common, they will have had it before. Most recommend a short sharp shock to the lad. If the police know more about him (previous similar behaviour) then it could be serious for him (and rightly so).

Trethew · 11/08/2018 08:34

I doubt you or his parents will be able to get the whole truth from either him or DD. Not a lot of point in insisting he deletes every pic he has of her if he has already shared. If it were my DD, I would go to police. For advice

thelonggame · 11/08/2018 08:34

phone 101 which is the police non-emergency number. Talk it through with them.
I've had to call them a couple of time for advice at work and they've been very informative.
What a little shit the boy is, hope he gets his comeuppance one day soon.

Hadjab · 11/08/2018 08:36

If DD has an iPhone, the screenshot he sent her will still be in the recently deleted photos folder. You need to view it then make a decision as to whether to take this up with the police. If it’s as innocent as she says it is, then a call to the boy should hopefully suffice.

Original poster
Oxfordblue · 11/08/2018 08:36

Ok, I've spoken to dd who said she hasn't sent a naked pic, just of her bum in shorts. I told her she's not in trouble blah blah, but I do need to know.
He is asking her for 7 lines of apology because she doesn't want to talk to him & he said she was being rude.

OP posts:
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