Dh cheating?

[supportneeded]

Hi, looking for support as can't get this out of my head
I was looking through dh phone today and found two messsages on instagram to girls saying he would love to see more of them. Can't see any replies unless he's deleted those.
I know I shouldn't have been looking through his phone but sometimes curiosity gets the better of me and I am very insecure.
Do you think he's cheating?

I think messaging other women is cheating of a sort

Confront him

You’ve nothing to lose

Ask him about them, you know if you don't, you will drive yourself mad.

I think he's changing his luck

That's creepy behaviour, but most of all disrespectful to you op
Ide dump for that alone

Yes that's cheating, he wants to see more pictures of other women. Does he follow a lot of female accounts?

As far as I can see he does. But most seem to be famous so I'm not sure really. I don't use instAgram so I'm not sure how it works

I would definitely not be happy with that, confront him with the evidence!!

how is his behaviour in general with you and towards other women ?
you have nothing to lose as pp have said than to talk with with him about it. are you both open with your phones, lest he sees it as an invasion of privacy, just saying, his reaction may give you some clues.

He did see me looking at his phone and since then it's been with him all afternoon. We are very open usually leaving them lying around and I have nothing to hide. We both have each other's fingerprint saved to unlock the phone so he knows I can get into it

Instagram is really easy to use, set up an account and then find famous people - click follow. That's it! If you have friends in there then follow them too and they'll probably follow you back. Don't worry if you don't put pictures on, some people don't but they use it to follow other people.

Once you've got an account, follow the women who your husband has commented on. If they accept you then you'll be able to see his comments so you can confront him that way. It'll also make clear whether or not these are randoms or people who he actually knows.

Thank you @LotsToThinkOf I have created an account. I'm sure I'll soon get the hang of it. I had to add him so he may think it's odd that today I've decided to join it. I couldn't see who he was following without adding him too

This is disrespectful and creepy. It’s an LTB from me .

From what I can see so far the pages he follows are just pics of half naked women. It doesn't appear he posts on their photos. I'm not sure where the private messaging came from though

Still grim when you're in a relationship.

Cheating is not always kissing, touching or flirting. If you have to delete a text message so your partner won't see them, you're already there

unless you are ok with this behaviour op it will be like a splinter in the finger and will cause a lot of pain until you deal with it.
have you asked him about it ? is it possible he's chancing on having a fling on the off chance, hence the deleted messages ?
warning bells would be ringing for me.

There is no proof or sign of deleted messages so I don't want to accuse him of that. It is making me feel sick though

no deletions that's good ,but does he realise how it upsets you though ?

Where did you actually see where he had wrote “that he would like to see more” was it in his direct messages or a comment he wrote underneath their pics?

A direct message

You can send messages as pic or a video that delete themselves after they have been viewed , similar as Snapchat . This applies for sending and receiving , no trace.

And op, just because the woman doesn’t seem to have responded is this okay with you? It seems like he’s trying to initiate something which is just as bad imo as having an affair . Ltb you deserve so much better . Sorry you’re going through this xxx

I definitely need to talk to him as I can't go on like this. Should I bring up the direct messages at the start or just talk to him about the profiles he's following and ask him if it's gone any further then see if he admits it?

Don’t ask him about the profiles he follows because he’ll never freely admit to sending any messages. I also follow half naked models and I suspect my DP also follows similar accounts so I don’t think the profiles are the issue but him trying to make contact is a big problem. He likely won’t get any sort of reply because he sounds like a letch and a creep, it’s actually making my skin crawl.

Tell him directly that you saw the messages and that you are upset.

Yes ok I'll have to admit I was snooping on his phone but I guess that's the best way to get a direct answer