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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask who I’m married to?

47 replies

Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:08

Met at 18 at uni. Married at 25. Very similar views and attitudes. He’s 6’ 2”. But soft as shite. Loved it. Fast forward. 40 last year. He seems to go mental like he’s missed out on his life. We have two kids (4 &7) but we always partied. I still give BJs voluntarily ffs. Anyway. He fancies everything that moves. I’m ok with it. Until he got off with 22 year old Hungarian on a business trip. He’s been texting other birds. And tonight he absolutely shoved my son while my little boy was walking away after a row with him. We’d do I do? Blow my life up or ride the midlife crisis?

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:08

What am I married to?

OP posts:
FissionChips · 04/08/2018 02:12

It’s obvious, you stay with him and allow him to further abuse your son.

Sound like a plan?

ineedtostopbeingsolazy · 04/08/2018 02:16

He's cheating and physically harming your child and you want to ride out the midlife crisis? Confused

It's not a midlife crisis he's turned into an abusive twat.

OwlinaTree · 04/08/2018 02:16

You need to address the problems if you want to stay with him. Will he have counseling with you?

The shoving of the child is particularly worrying. I would be expecting him to apologise to your son and I would issue a warning that any violence again and he would be out of the family home. If he can't hold his temper now how will he cope with teenage years?

Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:17

Thank you so much for these solid answers. He’s out of line. A woman would not get away with this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:19

Love this and I think i did this to a degree. I want to make this work while not being a pussy.

OP posts:
ChocAuVin · 04/08/2018 02:20

Seriously. The red line is shoving your son. Get him out.

Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:21

But am I blowing up all our lives when he could realise he’s being a dick?

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:22

Yeah but I’ve got my hands over my ears because there’s still hope.

OP posts:
ncforthisasitsrevolting · 04/08/2018 02:23

Who gives a shit if you love him and want to make it work. He's physical with your child. Grow a brain.

Disquieted1 · 04/08/2018 02:23

Don't start that.
It's nothing to do with whether a woman would "get away" with such behaviour.

SandyY2K · 04/08/2018 02:23

Why not just have an open marriage on both sides...He's doing it anyway. I'm not sure why you didn't think it would come to this when he fancies anyone.

You've discovered one OW... how many haven't you discovered?

Then you want to call him shoving your DS as a MLC.

Sounds to me that you're all an irritation to him. Does he want to be married?

People treat you how you let them in life.

FissionChips · 04/08/2018 02:24

Yeah but I’ve got my hands over my ears because there’s still hope

You have your hands over your eyes when he abuses your children too?

Biscuit
Apileofballyhoo · 04/08/2018 02:26

The trouble is abuse often starts small. Get him away from your DC.

Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:26

Ok. So grow up and deal with it. Shitting myself but it’s done here. Thanks for helping. Xx

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:27

Thank you for reminding me there are orhers! 😘

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 04/08/2018 02:27

You are married to a loser who doesn't deserve you or the children.

Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:30

Out but worried. Thanks for the impartiality.

OP posts:
ohfourfoxache · 04/08/2018 02:31

You know what you need to do Sad

You’ve got to do it. You won’t do it for yourself, but you must do it for your kids.

Be brave. You can do this.

Disquieted1 · 04/08/2018 02:32

Impartiality on MN?
That is novel ;-)

Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:36

That’s hilarious. Normally so judgmental. Look I just needed to ‘say’ it out loud to people who won’t remind me how great he is. He’s cheated. He bullied our son. Bye.

OP posts:
Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:37

Thanks. I mean it.

OP posts:
thebewilderness · 04/08/2018 02:37

He knows he is being a dick. The only question is how much abuse he has to dish out before you bolt.

Churrolicious · 04/08/2018 02:39

Done and dusted in 18 minutes?

Original poster
Smilingfuckyou · 04/08/2018 02:39

You’re legends. But I’m probably divorced. My mum will never get over it Wink

OP posts:
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