To give my child everything

[FantasticRiddles]

Ok I know IABU but I could do with a little bit of advice on where to set the line.

The last thing I want is my kids to grow up with no idea of money and budgeting and to be spoiled but whenever I think of what they could spend their own pocket money on, I would be happy to just buy them.

I really don't want them spending their own money on food.
Toys I've always been happy to buy them, if I had the money to spare.

They are only young now, 1 and 4 so I really want to set good money practices from a young age so any advice would be appreciated.

Why would they spend their pocket money on food? Aren’t they too young for pocket money?

When they’re old enough to get pocket money then you’ll probably feel different and want them to buy their own crappy waste of money Transformers magazine for £5. They buy it with their own money because it makes them feel independent and mature

What do you mean food ? Like sweets and junk ?

I’m not sure they need pocket money at this age. What would they spend it on?
As for toys be careful not to let them think you will buy every single toy they want, that’s a dangerous road to go down!

They’re far too young for pocket money now, when they’re old enough (around 8 in my opinion) there will be things they’ll want to buy for themselves. That’s when they can learn about budgeting.

There’s no reason for them to buy food with pocket money. In my house pocket money isn’t allowed to be spent on edibles because I used to spend my money on sweets and have a mouthful of fillings as a result.

Unless your children are remarkably restrained, you surely can't be getting them everything they ask for? As for the question of whose money is being spent, I think they are too young to care.

My kids are only little, but I think it’s very very important for them to learn the value of money.
Like a normal 3yo, my dd sees toys, magazines etc in the supermarket and wants everything. So since she’s learned to count at preschool, and recognise written numbers, I’ve been getting her to help me with the grocery shop, and look at the labels to tell me how much something is. Then when we’ve paid for shopping, I tell her how much money we have left (I’ll tell her something like £3) and let her look at the toys/magazines and spot something she likes with a price label smaller than a number 3.
I hate saying no to my DC’s, but at the same time I don’t want them to grow up spoiled and not understanding the cost of things.
It’s working so far.
She often says “do I have enough pennies for this” and if I say you don’t have enough yet, she will will say “so I need to wait until I have more in my pot?” - she’s getting it, and I think it’s great that she’s understanding that money isn’t infinite.

Your child has pocket money at 1?

Your post is a little confusing, could you clarify what you mean.

My dd is 6 and gets £3 a week. Enough to buy a cheap toy a week or a reasonable one a month. We top her up a bit for holidays. I find she thinks harder when it's her money instead of ours. We've been doing this for about a year. Obviously we but all food, clothes, stuff for school etc and top up the craft stuff. If it was up to her we'd live in a mountain of soft toys and plastic so that's the stuff I want to limit!

But = buy!

My DD had 30p initially.She had sweets after swimming,we went to the sweetshop and she chose lots of 1p/2p sweets,she had to add them up herself(bit if help at first).
She didn't have proper pocket money until she was 12.She had a bank account that birthday money etc was moved into when there was a decent amount in her piggy bank.
Last year she wanted an expensive camera and used her money for it(I couldn't afford it).So I would get them both bank accounts then they will have a decent amount by the time they are teens and wanted pensive things or the amount t of earplugs my dd goes through.

This is something I've thought about too. When I was around 9 I would get an allowance every week, with cash to cover brownies, school dinners, swimming, etc, plus a bit extra. It felt very grown up to "budget" it.

Now school dinners are mostly cashless, and lots of clubs are paid in advance per term, so it isn't quite as easy to do the same.

My kids are the same age as the OP's, so it's not something that I've had to decide on yet. But I am interested in how other people teach those lessons.

My children started having pocket money age 5. They get £5 a month and can buy anything they like. My 7 year old tends to save his up for a couple of months for things he likes the look of, my 5 year old tends to buy a magazine or small toy or sometimes he will use some of it to buy us all a flump or Freddo.

I still buy things for them, but having their own money to spend as they choose really gives them a sense of independence.

One of the most important things you can give your kids is a sense of the value of money. The importance of earning it and spending it wisely.

My parents had a 'bank account' for my pocket money when I was little.

It was a notebook calendar that they'd add a "+1" to every week, or a "-5" if I 'withdrew' cash, and show me the balance every so often.

It was long enough ago that I was saving for a car when I saw one for £126 at a second hand place. I actually got to £100 - I think my parents must have panicked and encouraged me to be profligate at that point, to avoid me nagging to follow through!

I think it’s good for children to have a bit of money from school age onwards.

My 9 year old gets £1 per week and any money she gets from grandparents etc she keeps half and I save half for her. she can spend the £1 a week on whatever she wants. just started recently - I think 1 and 4 is too young.

dS had pocket money for being good or kind ( he got stars on a chart and when he got 20 he gained £5). He soon learnt to save as well. This started at 3-4years of age. So I think your 4 year old could get pocket money.

1 and 4 - you're overthinking this a bit.

DS didn;t get pocket money until 7 (and frankly he didn;t really understand it then so I accept others might). Now that he's 12 he has just got to the point of not spending it all the instant he gets it.

He uses it to buy drinks out with friends, so save up to buy birthday/Xmas presents for people and other odds and ends like replacing headphones when he inevitably loses or breaks them.

By 9-10 he was reading economic books and quizzing me on pensions and other investments. I think start young with financial education.

Like myself when I was younger, our kids were given a monthly allowance that they paid everything 'extra' for; ie, we paid for uniform, school shoes, decent trainers, winter coats, basic clothes (jeans, t-shirts etc) and sport club-type activities. Everything else they paid for themselves so cinema trips, eating out with friends, fancier clothes, that kind of thing. They both had bank accounts and saving accounts (birthday money etc) that they could dip into for special purchases and if they ran out of money at the end of the month, sometimes it was tough, sometimes we'd give them an advance on the next month's allowance. It's worked very well for them as they're not wasteful with money and are very good and budgeting and weighing up whether they really want something. Obviously they were teenagers when we set this up.

Our eldest is now 18, has deferred university for a year and is working in a zero hours job, so some weeks he's better off than others. We don't charge rent or food but he will occasionally do some shopping or buy a takeaway for everyone and that works very well at the moment. He also knows that one of the provuso's of being rent-free at the moment is sticking to hoise rules in regard to tidying up after himself (a bit of a problem in the past ) and mucking in with housework and chores as he would have to if living in shared rented accommodation.

We have already decided that once they have a steady income we will charge them a nominal rent but will keep half of it back so they will have a deposit for somewhere to rent sooner, if that's what they wish (they'd better!). We'll keep the vague agreement about food and shopping as it is as they don't really cost that much to feed and pay for their own snacks and nonsense.

It worked for us too; on a budget we pretty much knew what our outgoings were going to be each month so were never hit by a massive 'can I go here with so-and-so' bill.

Sorry that was so long!

I got pocket money from 5. At that age it was a very small amount and I spent it all at once in the sweet shop. But it increased with age. And it did teach me how to budget. In small ways at first. So I only had a limited amount of money and learned to buy sweets that were better value, rather than ones that had fancy packaging. As I got a bit older I had to decide between pocket money toys, comics or sweets. It meant that if I wanted a comic, I had to buy few sweets. And I learned that cheap crappy made pocket money toys were often a waste of money.
By the time I was 16 I had pocket money that I had to cover all my bus fares with including getting to school and buy all my clothes with.
I have always been very good with money as an adult. My parents aren't, so I didn't learn this from example. But I think I did learn as a child with pocket money how to budget.

Really you are overthinking. Og course when DC's get money they will sometimes wnat to spend it on sweets, treats or toys. I cant see a problem with that.

We save in penny jar throughout the year for DS to spend on holiday, he always says he will be buying the ice cream on holiday,(at the pub/restaurant) so rather than put it on the bill he likes to go and buy himself where the landlord doesn't usually doesn't charge him

But yea...too young to be thinking about pocket money yet..DS is 12 and we've not yet got round to this

AIBU to give my child everything?

I remember a very interesting program from a few years back where they took various toddlers and first set them down with one toy to play with and then sat them down with a large collection of toys. Across the board, the toddlers were more engaged and appeared much happier with just the one toy. Having lots of toys caused confusion, uncertainty, lack of focus and ultimately less happiness.

You might also find this Ted talk on the consequences of too much choice gives you food for thought:
www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice

Having too much choice (i.e. too much stuff), whether it's still on shop shelves, in our wardrobes or toy boxes does not necessarily lead to happiness, often quite the reverse.