Partner Double Flushing

[PurpleArmy]

Might be a bit euggh for some but here goes.

We have a very old bathroom and an ancient toilet that guzzles water every time we flush. It must use gallons. I've got a water saver in the cistern. To save water, and the reduce bills we tend not to flush for a wee. We have two children and I'm a childminder so there is a lot of flushing going on in our house.

Recently, I heard DP use the bathroom, flush before he used it, then again. I said, why are you flushing twice? He shrugged. I said, please don't flush twice, it is just wasteful. He has ignored me and continues to flush twice. I've concluded that he thinks his wee and poo are too precious not to land in a nice clean cistern, hence the double flush.

I just think he's wasteful arse. AIBU?

A bit.

Leaving stuff sitting in the toilet bowl is fine if you live alone, but rather unpleasant otherwise.

Perhaps you should adjust your CM charges to take into account basic sanitation.

Yes. Maybe he doesn't want someone else's wee splashing his backside when he drops a poo.

If water conservation is that much of a concern to you, and you have metered water, have you thought about getting a new loo? We had one recently and It is a revelation. 10 seconds for the cistern to fill after a half flush!

Yanbu, i have 3 small boys its the same rules in this house, complete waste of water otherwise.

I wouldn’t want someone else’s pee to splash me when I used the toilet. I would also double flush.

Wtf? If the flush isn't cleaning the water then yes I would flush again! And I would never dream of telling DH off for flushing too often. YABU.

Your aims are honourable, but it's his house too: he's allowed to flush how he chooses.

Doing a poo into someone else’s pissy water is grim. YABU and probably need a new toilet.

Too right I would double flush! I do not want to sit on the loo knowing there was someone else's waste 6" below me.

OP would you not flush a public loo if it hadn't been flushed by the previous occupant? Or would you silently congratulate them and park your backside? 😳

It's his business, as it were, not yours.

What happens in the bathroom stays in the bathroom.

Yabu, it's his house too.
Buy a new toilet that is more economical! Saves on water bills surely?

You can choose no

If he's peeing that's one thing but I would absolutely not poo into someone else's pee. What about splash back?! That is completely disgusting. I also wouldn't tell off my DH for this because he's an adult and free to make his own choices. You can't impose your preferences on him for this.

Perhaps you should adjust your CM charges to take into account basic sanitation - completely agree!!

How many bathrooms do you have? Do the kids you look after have to use the pissy toilets too? I'd only want to 'let it mellow' it it was just family using the loo. Bit weird otherwise!

I tried this approach of not flushing if it was just urine. But the loos ended up honking by the end of each day. Going in there to be greeted by festering urine smells and the stains that developed

It would be really gross for me to poop or pee in someones dirty loo water (in fact the thought of it sat there in the toilet stinking would put me off!) You're obviously on a water meter, I'm not, but did do a calculation (I shower at the gym most days with DD (6) - we live alone, and go to quite a few classes), and am out at work so not a huge amount of flushing going on! Nor do we have a dishwasher. The minimum, on a meter, considering we rarely use water was twice as much as my bill! Can you switch, and you could potentially do away with this problem (and a few arguments...!)

You really can't have kids using the toilet when it's already soiled. It will splash up and hit them.

I'd be quite unhappy if my child told me this was the case. Get a new toilet.

Couple of bricks in the cistern would help with the water consumption

YABU. Buy a more efficient cistern.

God, I really need to start reading thread titles properly

“Double fisting” anyone 😂😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️

Be glad he's flushing!
YABU it's disgusting leaving things fester in the loo so if it needs a double flush then so be it or get a new loo.

That's really unpleasant, I'm sorry OP.

Do you really just let multiple pee visits accumulate in the loo? And dictate this to your mindees?

That's really not an acceptable standard of hygiene for taking care of kids in your home. I would have hated this as a child and not been able to pee all day. It's pretty yuck.

"Double fisting"

too hot for that game.

either put some more water savers in the cistern or get a new toilet - they really aren't expensive (a bog is a bog, go to a plumbers merchant not a fashion showroom) and fitting won't be pricey.

as a matter of interest where does the overflow go? That may be another reason to update.

I grew up in a place with poor water supply, and we'd often have droughts, resorting to this rule.

Sorry, but it's totally grim not to flush by whim not necessity, especially in this heat. And totally unreasonable to tell your husband that he can't flush as he chooses.

There must be so many accumulated wees if no one is allowed to flush until there's a poo! The water must look like orangeade.

It sounds as if you have got so used to telling children what to do that you have forgotten that your DH is an adult who can make his own flushing choices. Telling another person how to use the toilet is verging on controlling.