Partner Double Flushing

[PurpleArmy]

Might be a bit euggh for some but here goes.

We have a very old bathroom and an ancient toilet that guzzles water every time we flush. It must use gallons. I've got a water saver in the cistern. To save water, and the reduce bills we tend not to flush for a wee. We have two children and I'm a childminder so there is a lot of flushing going on in our house.

Recently, I heard DP use the bathroom, flush before he used it, then again. I said, why are you flushing twice? He shrugged. I said, please don't flush twice, it is just wasteful. He has ignored me and continues to flush twice. I've concluded that he thinks his wee and poo are too precious not to land in a nice clean cistern, hence the double flush.

I just think he's wasteful arse. AIBU?

Somehow I'm expecting pigletjohn to appear and give some plumbing advice...

It sounds as if you have got so used to telling children what to do that you have forgotten that your DH is an adult who can make his own flushing choices. Telling another person how to use the toilet is verging on controlling.

THIS ^

You sound a bit mad tbh thinking you can dictate how and when he flushed the toilet in his own house. If gender were flipped Mumsnet would be up in arms about the 'controlling bastard'

You need to seriously chill yourself out. Exercising such control over a partner is not healthy, it's abusive.

Get an old milk carton and cut the top off then stick in the cistern to save water.

I would certainly flush before if the toilet wasn't empty (ok maybe not for a lonely bit of toilet roll)

Loonoon that doesn't work the other way round though - I feel quite justified in telling anyone I share a loo with to leave it clean, not pee on the seat and then walk away without a care in the world, not to leave I flushed surprises for me either.
Actually OP I'll swap you my dh and 2 dcs for your cleaner ones.

That’s really gross.
Who is so pinickity about saving water when instead, they never flush wee’s.....that’s rank! As a childminder, I’d be removing my child if I knew you did that.

The water saver things in cisterns can also cause blockages so watch out for that.
I’d just invest in a new loo. They use a lot less water.

Hmmmm I'm quite prepared to be told IABU! I hadn't thought of splash back. It is just if we all did that..... then the water bill would go through the roof.

I suppose the water savings would payback the cost of the new loo. I'll speak to our plumber and see what the cost would be.

It is part of me being controlling too - DP is self employed, earns little, won't get a proper job, we live on the edge financially and he spends money like water. I was of the view that every little helps but reading what you all say, I know I've gone too far

Sorry, the childern are taught to flush the loo and wash their hands etc, its when they aren't here (i just do pick up) we have this way of doing things.

If I've pooed or used paper, I flush and then I check. If the first flush hasn't cleared everything, I flush again.

The problem here appears to be your 'ancient toilet'. They were/are wasteful of water and not very efficient. New ones are much more effective, use less water, and normally now have full and half flushes where you only need the full one if there is paper in the bowl. They're not very expensive either; we've redone about 5 bathrooms (in different houses!) over the past 10 years and it's the baths and showers that cost, not the toilets.

I'd get a new toilet.

he spends money like water.

Did you mean to say that?

Do you have a favourite toilet Talbot? I am not keen on my newer ones (but they do not use much water and the cistern fills up very fast).

I have two disgusting teens who rarely flush (yeah, I don’t get it either) and I’m here to tell you that mellowing piss absolutely HONKS and it stains the bowl. I think you’ve become immune to the smell.

I think people sometimes flush the loo before going because it, er, soundproofs the visit.

Whatever your dp's faults, you lurking outside the door policing his flushing habits is not on.

If your DP isn't pulling his weight financially, that's a separate issue though.

Wee left in the loo starts to smell in this hot weather.

We have the opposite problem; new house with eco loos where the flush is a bloody trickle. Toilet bowls require a lot of product to stay pristine. I don't think there's anything eco about flushing loads of chemicals down the bog. Give me a hearty flush any day.

New ones are much more effective, use less water, and normally now have full and half flushes where you only need the full one if there is paper in the bowl.

We've got a new toilet but we always use the full flush after being told by the company who came to unblock our drains that using the half flush too often can lead to blockages in our old drains.

It’s unhygienic when people don’t flush the toilet. I have 2 DSC (10 & 13) who don’t flush after going for a wee and I find it disgusting TBH. I want to use a clean toilet, not a dirty one that someone can’t be bothered to push a button to flush.

Completely sympathise with your OH.

We have the opposite problem; new house with eco loos where the flush is a bloody trickle. Toilet bowls require a lot of product to stay pristine. I don't think there's anything eco about flushing loads of chemicals down the bog.

That is my problem too. They are efficient and use little water, but the expanse of water is very small, there are too many skid marks and even when it hits the mark, there are skidmarks under the water. I can't do without the bog cleaner.

The previous ones were 1980s Shires with a dual flush and worked really well until the flush mechanism had to be replaced and so there was no half flush and you could go weeks without cleaning them

Melamin Yes exactly. Who designs these things? Some bloke who never cleans a bog? They are barely fit for purpose.

Are you on a water meter, OP?

Nothing wrong with saving water but stale pee really stinks. My dad is of the opinion that pee doesn't need to be flushed so my parents now have separate toilets and if he uses the downstairs one or my mum's bathroom, the rule is it gets flushed!

At the moment we are being asked to save water therefore anyone flushing the loo twice is not helping the water situation!! Outside of this i think we should all flush in this heat. I have read that all these modern toilets which use minimal water to flush are keeping plumbers very busy with the resultant blockages that occur so apart from the water shortages at the moment i would continue with your old loo - unless it actually doesnt work properly.

If my husband told me I wasn’t allowed to flush the loo in my own home, frankly I’d be questioning my choice of husband not our loo.

YABVU and grim. Don't let pee stand without flushing, please

Bilbodog and OP.

He's not really flushing twice though, is he?

He's flushing once for the 1-dozen people who've been before him, and once for his own waste.

Have everyone flush once and he won't feel the need to flush twice!

You do have to watch it with some of the new designs though. The upstairs loo at work is very efficient - just shoots the waste away. The downstairs one seems to slosh the water uselessly around the bowl. Perhaps the hape of the inside needs to be redesigned so that less water pushes the waste in the right direction?